crush_95

Thanks so much Sherri. This feels great. Can't wait to have this damn thing in the rear view mirror.

jimmy omg about to cry. thank you. only smokers and ex-smokers know the struggle is real. the support is appreciated. just want to keep the compass pointed north.

Thanks I know it is coming. Looking forward to when it does. Just trying to stay positive instead of destroying myself. The sun is rising.

So here is the thing. I have smoked about a pack a day for 20 years. About a week ago I watched Allan Carr's video and immediately cut down to from 20 a day. I am really trying to get rid of those last 2-3 at night. You know the ones that are glorious with a cocktail after the kids are in bed. Of course they are no different than any others. I feel so guilty about it when think about what Allan Carr would say. In addition my wife is almost ready to quit, just not there yet (she will be soon) so there are cigarettes in the house. The reality is we are almost at the finish line. In the meantime I am trying not beat myself up as going from 20-30 a day down to 2 or 3 is a MAJOR accomplishment. I am not pathetic, I am making great strides and also can be gentle on myself as I try to unwind the evening rituals.Two nights ago instead of smoking I took my daughter out to dinner. Was awesome. Anyway this takes a little time. No I WILL NOT fall back into 20 a day. No, I am nearing the finish line and feel good about it mentally, physically, emotionally. Calm down. Anyway just wanted to get that out. This is such a heady game. Need to stay positive instead of going negative and feeling like a failure.