Posted 25 June 2013 - 06:32 PM

I keep telling myself that I've made it this far and because of that I can keep on going. Not to mention, I DO NOT want to go through it all again. There are also all of the benefits I am experiencing and the ones I will soon discover. With that said, I am having an awful hard time of it.

It started about a week ago, these tests one after another. All situations that in the past I would have needed dozens of cigarettes to get through. It started with a death in the family and that first test I handled well. It just seems like every time I turn around, there is another test. There have been dozens of these tests, seems like the nico-monster is following me around waiting for me to slip up.

The past 5 days have been just plain horrible. I suddenly realized I had an abscessed tooth and it drained one night. I thought nothing of it really, just a mental note to try and get to a dentist and glad that it didn't feel like my tooth wanted to explode any more. By Saturday I was in agony and at the emergency room. I could barely swallow, eat or talk - my tongue, throat and some lymph nodes are infected from that abscess. Several days later on strong antibiotics/pain meds and really no change at all. It looks like I need to see another doctor I guess. So, physical pain is a big trigger for me and I am having a hard time with it, but I have not smoked. I keep asking myself: "And what exactly is a cigarette going to accomplish here?" The answer of course is nothing. Nothing good anyway. It won't take away any pain and it certainly isn't going to make me feel good in any way. I know this, but it's still hard all the same.

Addendum: While I did have a problem with that tooth, it wasn't the big problem. Due to using my inhaler improperly, I ended up with a bad case of Thrush that had advanced to my throat and lymph nodes. It was an easy fix too. If you use a maintenance inhaler, be sure to rinse your mouth completely. I had figured just drinking something was enough, not so!