Non-typical thoughts of quitting?

[JB 883]

We have heard the NOPE thing, or worry about our health, it costs too much, not wanting to miss moments in life because we had to step out for a smoke...

 

What about non-typical thoughts? I never thought the same things I read or hear so often. I had my own thoughts and they caused me to get seriously pissed off at the cigarettes.

Some of mine were like this -

 

Being a so-called "smoker" just wasn't me. Yeah i smoked but the label "smoker", didn't fit. A "smoker", as I imagined it, was not someone who presented well but more someone like the 45 year old "cougar" at the bar or the creepy drunk guy with booze on his breath. THEY are the smokers, not me. Or maybe someone haggardly looking who has given up on life. Like it is a loser's habit.

In short, I was too good for the smoking habit.

 

For several months I was thinking about quitting. Of course I was scared I would not be able to KTQ. I had failed at "quits" before, usually after four hours. All my friends smoked (like i have such a rich social life HA). Puffing and choking. Room stinking. Smoke ANOTHER cigarette. Watching someone smoke looked dumb.

 

But seeing and smelling this, something started to accompany my thoughts of "I need to quit". It was like there was this voice in my head and sometimes when I was lighting up, it would say things like, "Hey look, dumbass is about to smoke yet again! Yeah she wants to get cancer, won't that be hilarious? Laying there begging for life through labored breath HAHAHAHA!"

Or when I would go buy more tubes or tobacco (I rolled my own) it would say "Yep, better get those! God knows you might die without any cigarettes! Part of a healthy life"

 

Also when someone dies, whoever gets to announce what killed them, they seem to have a tone of shame when the cause of death was smoking. When I am dead and gone, I don't want someone to say, "yeah she died of smoking". No, I want it to be something respectful like "Yeah, she was beat to death cause she ran her mouth to the wrong person".

 

Also someone I know who is hooked on ambien was telling me about it and said, "I have GOT to have it..." I thought, Christ on a pogo stick, am I that hooked and pathetic about my tobacco? I was embarrassed to even think of it. 

 

But about the last week of September 2017 I got pretty sick. It was hard to breathe and even harder to smoke. I knew it was a passing cold but i got to thinking, "What if I developed something bad from smoking? What would it be like to go through each day like this? Suffocating for air, wishing I had quit years ago? So I tried to quit again, only to relapse the very next day. I decided for three days, I could have three cigarettes. During those days I gave away or threw away everything smoking related except just a few cigs.

Friday Oct 6th at 7:00 a.m. marked the start of a non-smoking life. So, I had finished my LAST cigarette. I had a hard plastic box I kept my smokes it, it was empty.

I looked at it, said, "Good bye and fcuk you" and threw the thing as hard as I could. Several seconds later it landed on the street somewhere.

 

I also sometimes thought, "What if I ended up in the hospital and could not smoke?" This one was totally legit because around Thanksgiving I had to go in for cellulitis. I was in there several hours but didn't need nor want a smoke. That would have sucked to be in that room for hours and needing a puff.

 

But yeah that cold in September. It was like a warning. "Do you want to suffer like this in the future if you do not quit smoking?" It was then that I got pissed off at the habit.

Today when i smell someone smoking it is a reminder of why I refuse to give in to the occasional craves.

 

Most important I think is this - yeah some people get away with smoking for 40 or 50 years and never die from it. But me, I would probably be one of the unlucky ones who didn't even make it to age 60.

 

What about you? Did YYYOOOOUUUU have any strange thoughts that ultimately made you quit if doing so on your own terms?

 

[barry]

I guess the only “odd thought” I had was around intelligence.  I always prided myself on my smarts.  Good grades in school.  Couple of degrees.  Good job, make good money.  Large vocabulary.  All that.  Not to mention, STUBBORN!

 

Knowing all the stupid that surrounds smoking, wasting money, ruining health, shortening life...it just wasn’t what you’d think “smart people” would do. And, like most addicts, I justified it away, “I’m unique” that kind of crap.

 

But, the “stubborn” part...that’s a useful trait in a Quit!  I turned it around on myself, and instead of stubbornly continuing to smoke against all the evidence, turn it around and use that same stubbornness to NOT smoke when urges and craving would hit 

[Boo]

I don't know if it's really that odd, but the real driver in the beginning of my quit was the time and attention that smoking demanded.  I was planning my every waking moment around getting my nicotine fix.  I hated the thought of being in any non-smoking venue for any prolonged time.  Smoking was controlling my life and I was sick of it.

 

Since then, I've come to appreciate the health benefits.  I told myself I felt "pretty good."  When in reality, I just felt normal.  I was unaware of the potential to feel much better as a nonsmoker.  I didn't give any real thought to the financial benefits of quitting until the money saved started to accrue.  I started this journey with a very limited focus, but along the way benefits not foreseen have presented themselves at every turn.

 

When you commit to the process, the process will reward you many times over.

[Giveintowin]

It's amazing how we can twist things in our mind to protect ourselves. "I'm not like other smokers." Yeah right!! That's classic. You're also immune to cancer and everything else bad that can happen because of my addiction.

Edited March 7, 2018 by Giveintowin

[Roopy]

My odd reasons were vanity, I am 33 and wanted to stop before I got wrinkles and looked like a “smoker”. I also started finding it really embarrassing. When I started smoking everyone smoked but recently I could be out somewhere with tons of people and be the only person stepping outside for a smoke. It felt so shameful. 

[brand.new.ela]

On ‎3‎/‎7‎/‎2018 at 2:30 PM, barry said:

I guess the only “odd thought” I had was around intelligence.  I always prided myself on my smarts.  Good grades in school.  Couple of degrees.  Good job, make good money.  Large vocabulary.  All that.  Not to mention, STUBBORN!

 

Knowing all the stupid that surrounds smoking, wasting money, ruining health, shortening life...it just wasn’t what you’d think “smart people” would do. And, like most addicts, I justified it away, “I’m unique” that kind of crap.

 

But, the “stubborn” part...that’s a useful trait in a Quit!  I turned it around on myself, and instead of stubbornly continuing to smoke against all the evidence, turn it around and use that same stubbornness to NOT smoke when urges and craving would hit 

Same for me. I always praised my intelligence and still I was a smoker. I even considered it my trademark, like Marlene Dietrich (I turn red when I think how ridiculous it sounds, don't be too cruel to me for that). Nothing further from the truth, obviously.

[Wayne045]

On 3/7/2018 at 3:06 PM, Boo said:

I don't know if it's really that odd, but the real driver in the beginning of my quit was the time and attention that smoking demanded.  I was planning my every waking moment around getting my nicotine fix.  I hated the thought of being in any non-smoking venue for any prolonged time.  Smoking was controlling my life and I was sick of it.

 

Since then, I've come to appreciate the health benefits.  I told myself I felt "pretty good."  When in reality, I just felt normal.  I was unaware of the potential to feel much better as a nonsmoker.  I didn't give any real thought to the financial benefits of quitting until the money saved started to accrue.  I started this journey with a very limited focus, but along the way benefits not foreseen have presented themselves at every turn.

 

When you commit to the process, the process will reward you many times over.

 

It's not odd.    That became my primary motivation after the first few weeks (past the craves).  I realized that I'm now free to go wherever, whenever and not be looking for a place to smoke or worry about when I can get away to have a cigarette.

    

Edited March 10, 2018 by Wayne045

[c9jane29]

I read an article/interview with a tabacco bigwig and one line stuck with me so hard--"We do not need to advertise to children. Their smoking parents do that for us." 

Then 4months later the dr caught a murmur in my daughter's heart, echo revealed a congenital heart defect. 

I will never smoke again.