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notsmokinjo
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No Jillar you do not touch that those and the memories you can't get back.  I will say I would like to start a bitch line so when we get upset we can spew all the crap that makes us want to smoke when no one else gets it . i. e. non smokers.  We are here trying to better, do better but that is still not good enough, what the f.....k do they want? I have taken care of a husband through 5 years of cancer treatment, I learned how to be a lymphedema therapist (which was a every night treatment).I took care of child in high school,  I made all of husbands chemo and doctors apointements, I worked 

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Sorry I was in the middle of a rant earlier, just leave the PEZ alone, I have a candy drawer in the china cabinet.  It can be a lifesaver when s....hits the fan. Just get what you need and stash it there for emergencies.  We should always have it, my husband and son never knew.

K

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14 minutes ago, Kris said:

I will say I would like to start a bitch line so when we get upset we can spew all the crap that makes us want to smoke when no one else gets it

We have one Kris, its the curse it thread in the Off The Record forum. Or you can use your I'm Pissed thread too 

Edited by jillar
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I wouldn’t open them. I would almost guarantee that they are spoiled. Having said that, I am easily skeeved by out of date food. If I so much as suspect something might be beyond its “use by date”, I won’t touch it.

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Hi Doreen,

Just another night of insomnia, funny thing could not stay up all night when I was young now I am old and can't sleep but to old to have any fun.

K

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53 minutes ago, Katgirl said:

What the hell is a plushie 🤔, or should that be plushy?

 

 

Oops! My bad!! English is not my first language and I had to teach myself, so I still get things wrong sometimes ;)  I forgot stuffed animals are "plushies" but a single stuffed animal would probably be a "plushy" 🤔 Thanks for reminding me of that! I hope it wasn't too confusing.

I still strongly recommend everyone should get some soft plushies and stuffed animals! Nowadays I swear they are much softer than they were decades ago 🥰

Edited by justanotherme
forgot to put my words in the right order lol
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I have 3 plushies, they are not stuffed but living, breathing animals that fill my life with joy. They are happy that Mom quit smoking, the little ones get more lap time, the big one gets more brushing time.

K

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6 hours ago, justanotherme said:

 

Oops! My bad!! English is not my first language and I had to teach myself, so I still get things wrong sometimes ;)  I forgot stuffed animals are "plushies" but a single stuffed animal would probably be a "plushy" 🤔 Thanks for reminding me of that! I hope it wasn't too confusing.

I still strongly recommend everyone should get some soft plushies and stuffed animals! Nowadays I swear they are much softer than they were decades ago 🥰

Ahh! Stuffed animals. I won several, on my trip back east. I was playing games on the boardwalk. I gave 2 out of three to my granddaughters, but did keep a teddy bear for myself. I also own others, as well as a few dolls. As Kris mentioned, I also have a live soft coated pet, my Cockapoo, Barney. My guy, John,  has 2 cats. I’m not a big cat person, but they are soft, and both like me. So, I get to pet them, as well. Anything which brings us comfort, or gives us joy is a good thing. So, I’m all for plushies, of any kind.😊

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I am totally alone right now, for the first time in months. I have been with my boyfriend, either at his ranch, or on the road, traveling, since sometime in April. Today, I drove home. It’s been so long, it feels weird, and even a bit scary. That last bit is why I came home. Periodically, I need to prove to myself that I can be self reliant and independent. I will probably stay a week and then return. If John remains true to form, he will follow me here to spend a day or two. We live about 60 miles apart, He has asked me to move in, but I am reluctant to give up my own place, even after 2 1/2 years. It represents security, to me, and I can afford it, by myself.  He refers to his place as “ours”, but that’s not accurate. I already experienced the death of a husband, and know that life can change on a dime. What if he were to suddenly pass? His son would show up, and take over the property. Then where would I be? Hence, my hesitation to take that next step. Am I being a chicken?

we have chickens, on the ranch, by the way. What a pain in the ass they are! That damn rooster wakes us every morning, very early, with his damn “cockadoodledooing”….

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32 minutes ago, Katgirl said:

. What if he were to suddenly pass? His son would show up, and take over the property. Then where would I be? Hence, my hesitation to take that next step. Am I being a chicken?

You're not being chicken, you're being smart!  You could always rent your house out and live with John. Let someone else pay your mortgage 😊

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I agree with Jillar, I can relate to how your feeling. I have been independent since my 

husband passed. You are right life can change in a minute. You are being smart,but you 

Don't want to live in fear either. You know what is right for you.

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Katgirl,

My husband passed over 10 years ago. There were couple of friends that came around that I felt were checking things out, they knew how hard we had worked to put away for early retirement and to pay off our mortgage. I had no interest then and I do not now. My husband was my first and only love.

I have had a front row seat to a couple of widows that were taken advantage of, so I decided early on that I would not go down that path. Seems like you have found a really great guy and I am happy for you but you must be careful.  Keep your home and rent it so if you need it, it is there.  If you decide to marry get a prenup to protect your assets, not just for you but for your kids and grandkids.

My husband and I did not work hard to leave it to anyone but our child, I will not leave everything to anyone but my child. I know these are difficult things to think about. I do not think I need even need to tell you this but as they say love is blind.

K

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@jillar, @Linda, and @Kris,

I do not own my home. I sold my home in NJ,  after Sev died, and invested my money in my youngest son’s music ventures. Basically, I helped produced his 2 jazz albums.  He is a very gifted jazz saxophonist.  I moved from a very expensive luxury 2 bedroom apt in a larger city, here in CA, to a lovely 2 bedroom garden home, in a 55 and over community, that my same son found for me. I saved $800.00 a month, and was closer to him, before he was restationed to Japan , in the USAF. ( His full-time job is playing Sax in the band) After 4 years here, this house is my home. I know I could find another rental, if something goes wrong, but I love my place, the price is very reasonable, and I have already moved,so many times, throughout my adult life. I just like the security of having my own place. Also, my boyfriend spends tons of money on me. If anyone is taking advantage of the other, financially, it’s me. I gladly accept the $100 bills he hands me, “so I have pocket money”. So, no worries, there. 😂😂 Also, the Catholic in me does not want to make a permanent home with a man to whom I am not married, as crazy as that sounds, given the fact we “sleep together” all the time. My only daughter, who takes her Catechism very seriously, lectures me about it….. That’s always an uncomfortable conversation. My sons are fine with my lifestyle.

Edited by Katgirl
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On 8/14/2021 at 5:53 PM, Kris said:

Dear Katgirl,

I was married for 31 years and 3 weeks, my husbands Grandmother would always ask when we were going to get married, we were not married in the catholic church. Still makes me laugh my inlaws had 5 children and we were the only ones that never divorced.  I understand the position you are in. It is a hard place when you don't own your home. I think at this point you have to go with your heart. Is your love willing to add you to his final wishes ie leave you his home in the case of his death and would you be able to afford to live there if he passed. I do not know about the taxes and insurance where you are.  Would he be willing to purchase your home and put it in your name? You and he could have it as a rental property but if he passed you would be assured that you would have a home.  These are hard conversations but you must have them to make sure you would have a home and security for the future.  I am sure he loves you but he needs to make sure you are taken care of if anything happens.

K

 

 

 

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9 minutes ago, Kris said:

 

Kris, these are the things that I struggle with. Financially, I am fine, and can afford to take care of myself.  However, If I decide to live with him, I would want some assurances. It’s always complicated, when dealing with a new love’s family. Greed can rear its ugly head. I need to be assured that I am O.K., and that there are no potential conflicts, should something go wrong. For now, I am erring on the side of caution.

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My sweet girl,

I am heartbroken that you have to deal with these issues. I am blessed, that I do not have to worry about these things for now. I have no mortgage, just have to pay the taxes and insurance.  Not a mansion but comfortable. Way to big for me, a 4/3/2/2 but a one bedroom apartment would cost me more.  Plus I have the yard for the dogs so here we are and here we will stay. I am lucky to have a quiet neighborhood and wonderful neighbors. If my son and family run into any problems there is plenty of room here. Let's face it with the pandemic we never know what could happen. Just take your time and make sure you will be safe with the decisions you make.  I know California has a high cost of living but so does the east coast.

K

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Well after 44 minutes on the phone with Verizon I am now a smartphone user. Well, I will be by the 31st. Just have to wait for a backordered phone. Not real happy about the increase in the bill but had to stay on Verizon for now since I have two phone lines on it, one my husband's business cell.

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Crap. I hate technology.  They call them smart phones but I am not smart enough to use one! I just got a cheap little flip phone for emergencies and can't get the darn thing activated, my son could not do it either.... lord just call me on the home phone/land line.  If you see an old lady lying on the side of the road please call 911

K

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Yea, @Jillar! What phone did you order? Oh, and why did I think you weren’t presently married? I probably should have PM’d that last bit…😂

Edited by Katgirl
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