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My Life Long Smoking Friend......


Doreensfree
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Over the years here..I've have mentioned my concerns for my friend ,who has been by my side 65 years....

I tried my best to get her to take a seat on the Train...but failed....

After months of not being well ,we now have a prognosis....

Pancreatic Cancer....which has spread to her Liver ,and possibly her Kidneys...

It is inoperable...too far advanced...

I am speechless...

If you havnt quit yet...I urge you ..not to wait a minute longer....

Don't leave it ..until it's too late

No replies needed...xxxx

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Sorry about your friend Doreen.

 

In the throes of addiction, we turn a blind eye and deaf ear to the consequences of smoking.  This is serious business folks, will you choose your path or wait for the cigarettes to determine your fate?

 

Choose wisely.

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Doreen, there is only so much one can do to help others like your friend. You made an honest effort. The truth about quitting smoking is that it is an individual choice. Yeah we encourage each other and all that but it is up to each smoker to decide if they are going to stop, support groups or not.

 

With all the fun and light-heartedness of this forum, it is easy to forget that the main point is about helping folks (and ourselves) break from a horrid addiction.

 

We all quit smoking eventually. The question is - do we want to do it on our own terms or on mother nature's? The guarantee is that we will not like Mother Nature's terms if we choose that route.

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Watching her still reach for the cigs..and take in all that crap..is one of the saddest things to see...

It's not for the enjoyment I witness..its the addict feeding the addiction..

I know I've done my best...just sorry it wasn't enough ...

I'm so thankful I found the strength ,and this bunch of quitters, to help me understand it doesn't have to be this way...

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I guess most people have a turning point when they decide a bad habit is causing more harm than anything.

Some people refuse to give it up even at it's worst.

 

About the only thing you can do is make the best of whatever time you two do get to spend together.

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5 hours ago, Doreensfree said:

Watching her still reach for the cigs..and take in all that crap..is one of the saddest things to see...

It's not for the enjoyment I witness..its the addict feeding the addiction..

I know I've done my best...just sorry it wasn't enough ...

I'm so thankful I found the strength ,and this bunch of quitters, to help me understand it doesn't have to be this way...

 

Hello Doreen:

 

There is only so much that a person can do to help a smoker try to quit smoking. Here is a link to my resource page addressing this issue.

 

I want to highlight your observation about your friend not smoking for enjoyment but more so smoking to just feed her addiction.

 

Here is a post that I had at the Freedom from Nicotine board addressing this point:

 

 
I smoke because I like the flavor
 
Image

I smoke for flavor. Or, I smoke to stand out as looking good. The man pictured above, and the thousands of others like him who smoke after losing their voice boxes are classic examples of why people actually smoke. They smoke because they are addicted to nicotine.

 

When a man or woman loses his or her larynx (voice box), he or she is no longer able to speak by normal means. A new process of speaking known as esophageal speech must be learned, a process of swallowing air and belching it up that is not mastered by all who have the procedure. There are electronic devices that help assist in the speaking process, but to date the resulting voice is very mechanical and automated sounding. Smokers have a much higher incidence of cancer of the larynx than non-smokers. Heavy alcohol consumption is also a known risk factor, and people who both smoke and drink are at highest risk.

 

This man and other laryngectomy patients are no longer able to breath through their nose or mouth, they must breath through holes inserted into their throats. This man is still smoking, through a tracheotomy tube straight into his throat. This man is getting no tobacco flavor, he is not going anywhere near a taste bud. He is not smoking because he somehow thinks that he is standing out as looking good or cool. He smokes now for the same reason he smoked before his cancer-he is a drug addict feeding his addiction. Conditions like this show just how addictive nicotine is and how controlled smokers are by this deadly drug.

 

If you are a member of Freedom now, it means you have at least three days under your belt with no nicotine in you and that you now have the upper hand in controlling this addiction. As long as you keep nicotine out now it can never exert this kind of force over your free will again. You have all reduced your risks of developing such conditions, and your risks will continue to drop and your level of control get stronger and stronger over time, and will stay on that course as long as you keep your reasons for quitting strong and your resolve reinforced to never take another puff!

 

Joel


Photo from Tobacco and Your Health Harold S. Diehl, M.D. McGraw-Hill Copyright 1969 Related resources: “I smoke because I like smoking”

 

 

Here are a couple of resource pages addressing how quitting smoking really is a fight for your life:

http://whyquit.com/joels-videos/treat-quitting-smoking-as-if-you-are-fighting-for-your-life/

http://whyquit.com/joels-videos/its-only-cigarette-smoking-its-not-like-a-crime-punishable-by-death/ 

 

 

 

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Sent my thoughts in a PM to you Doreen but wanted to comment about Joel's message above.

 

Jetblack mentioned yesterday about having seen a woman in a store with a hole in her throat and that being another motivator to keep the quit even without knowing if that was the result of a smoking related issue. It likely was related to smoking and i remember thinking, once I read her post, whether that woman was still smoking. This addiction can be powerful beyond description. Those of us who have "seen the light" and come here to share our quit with other like minded souls are blessed or maybe just lucky? I don't know which it is but the combination of our own efforts and the community as a whole is something very special! We should all be thankful each and every day we made the decision we did (quitting & coming here!)

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I’m so sorry Doreen. You are such a kind hearted soul and You did your best to get your friend on the Train. Who knows if the cause of the cancer was smoking related? Today so many people get cancers that are normally attributed to smoking but  have never smoked in their lives. In any case it’s so tough to watch a friend or family member go through this. My thoughts are with you ??

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17 minutes ago, reciprocity said:

Sent my thoughts in a PM to you Doreen but wanted to comment about Joel's message above.

 

Jetblack mentioned yesterday about having seen a woman in a store with a hole in her throat and that being another motivator to keep the quit even without knowing if that was the result of a smoking related issue. It likely was related to smoking and i remember thinking, once I read her post, whether that woman was still smoking. This addiction can be powerful beyond description. Those of us who have "seen the light" and come here to share our quit with other like minded souls are blessed or maybe just lucky? I don't know which it is but the combination of our own efforts and the community as a whole is something very special! We should all be thankful each and every day we made the decision we did (quitting & coming here!)

 

I somehow missed where Jetblack put up that post. Can you let me know where it is and I will copy my post there, or, if someone else wants to put it there that is fine too. Also, here is the link to the resource page I have for that article: http://whyquit.com/joels-videos/i-smoke-because-i-like-the-flavor/

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2 hours ago, Joel Spitzer said:

 

I somehow missed where Jetblack put up that post. Can you let me know where it is and I will copy my post there, or, if someone else wants to put it there that is fine too. Also, here is the link to the resource page I have for that article: http://whyquit.com/joels-videos/i-smoke-because-i-like-the-flavor/

Celebrations Page - "Jetblack is 3 Months Quit" thread. Posted Sat. Jan. 06/18.

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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