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PinkyPromise

Sunday night... and I'd love a smoke :(

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This is not an SOS, I'm not going to go buy cigarettes.  I robbed one of those nasty, green apple super bubble chewing gum pieces from the kid's Halloween bucket.

This whole quitting smoking thing is like the worst and most shittiest constructed roller coaster of all time.

OK, I had the throw that green apple super bubble away because it started to feel like flavorless wax.  I fished out a piece of Trident Cinnamon -- much better.

 

What's your favorite gum?

 

:51_scream: :52_fearful:

 

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I don't know why I added this to the Quit smoking discussion... maybe should have been socializing.  I don't know.  Someone tell me how dumpy their first month was but how amazing they feel now.

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5 minutes ago, PinkyPromise said:

 Someone tell me how dumpy their first month was but how amazing they feel now.

I spent the better part of one night pacing around, cussing, and doing push-ups to failure.

All better now!

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Just now, Boo said:

I spent the better part of one night pacing around, cussing, and doing push-ups to failure.

All better now!

I just ate a nice, med-rare steak... garlic butter sauce, steamed broccoli, loaded baked potato.  Thanks so much to the cravings induced Halloween candy binge I've been on for the last 2 weeks I feel like I better go put some pajama pants on (basically, buffet pants) -- these jeans are going to cut off the circulation to the entire lower half of my body.  It isn't even 7 p.m. my time and I want to go lay in bed and binge watch "Top 10" on YouTube.

:70_poop:

I hope that when one day I am feeling awesome about my quit, I can go back and look at all the dumb shit I said and how I felt.

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This was my start. You don't want one. You want something to do but not that.

 

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Yes!  Thanks Bakon :17_heart_eyes:

I went downstairs and opened a BlowPop -- which was immediately ganked from me -- directly out of my mouth, by my 3 year old.  Then I got a new one and my 6 year old felt cheated -- so she grabbed one.  Hubby was like -- well, WTF.  So he got one too.  Now it's bed time... extra tooth brushing time first :4_joy:

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The first week of my quit I spent about 25 hrs a day sleeping! I had just retired, and before,I could,go back to work, I had to take two months off..(rules,of my pension)...  So I thought that would be a good time to quit, since just about every aspect of my life was going to change...like everyone, I struggled, and thought the best way to avoid smoking was by doing things that I would be unable to smoke doing....sooo...sleeping it was...wake up, eat too much, ...go back to sleep...repeat....

in the mean time, I spent a lot of time here among these people and credit this support for being successful. I read everything here...knowledge wins the war!!  I think being active here was key to keeping my mind busy.....

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6 hours ago, PinkyPromise said:

What's your favorite gum?

 

:51_scream: :52_fearful:

 

Dentyne Fire

Once in a while, I like to put 5 sticks of Juicy Fruit in my mouth and take a trip back to childhood.

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I got through the early days with my trusty punching pillow..I would send it flying through the air...

I chew extra white.....

When I was a kid many moons ago..I loved a penny bubbly....wow the size of them bubbles was unreal...then splatter all over my face...they don't make them today..

Dam shame !!!!

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Thanks guys :)

I have had OVERALL an ok time the last few days, but it feels like when a craving hits, it sweeps me off my feet.  This morning a couple have come and gone.  I've been emptying out my office, cleaning & organizing (rest of the house looks like ass, but my office is lookin' smashing LOL).  Keep having fleeting thoughts about "just one" :34_rolling_eyes: 

So much more than "just one" I find that I really do not want to be back where I am right now and I keep thinking maybe tomorrow will be better.  Or maybe even 20 minutes later will be better. *sigh*

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First month sucked the most and I feel amazing now ---- really. :91_thumbsup:

I too chewed cinnamon gum for the first couple of months.   

 

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Doreen, I don't know if this is the same stuff... but it's called "Bubbly" lol

https://www.ebay.com/itm/240-ANGLO-BUBBLY-Full-Box-Of-Bubble-Gum-/122049495304?_trksid=p2385738.m2548.l4275

BKP -- This morning... I felt certifiable :2_grimacing: The rest of the day was awesome!  I didn't have any kind of problems at all... but this morning was brutal, for a few hours even!  

RunFree -- remember Fruit Stripe??  It was sooooo good, but the flavor only lasted 2 minutes lol

Joe... ohh, to sleep lol.  I go to bed early (on my way now, in fact) but not so much for day time naps.  My littles are too little still to be left alone for more than... well, about 6 seconds :4_joy:

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This morning -- ALL morning has been the same as yesterday morning.  It's nearly 1, my time.  It doesn't feel like it'll stop.  

Eyes open at 5:30.  I laid there until 6:30 when the kid's woke up.  Tried to fall back asleep so I didn't have to think about it.  Made my way through getting the kids dressed, breakfast, backpacks, papers signed, etc, etc, etc... 7:55, out to meet the buses.  

I don't know if it is withdrawals or cravings or even what the difference between the 2 is.  I just know I'm ******* tired of it.  I'm tired of feeling tired.  I'm tired of SO many of my awake moments being completely consumed by focusing everything I've got on this internal dialogue about why I do not want or need to smoke.  I'm tired of just doing mindless crap like laundry and cleaning and things I don't even have to think about doing -- all the while going over and over about how much better off I am for quitting.

I'm tired of feeling anxiety.

I'm tired of being pissed off at my fat friend for saying "Ohhh your poor lungs" to me -- my eyes rolled so hard I almost sprained one.  I'm angry that she just had to tell me her stupid "how I quit after my first puff when I was 15" story.

I think I need Doreen's punch pillow.

This shouldn't be this way.  It shouldn't actually physically make my chest tight, trying to fight smoking.

It still isn't an "SOS" -- but I can say this -- I can't live like this for a whole lot longer.  And now I'm just angry.

 

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I used to chew on cinnamon sticks, jalapeno peppers, spare tires, dry ice, rebar....

Be angry.  Angry is good.  You're paying off the bill for the sins of yesterday.

Never smoke again and you will only pay the bill once.

Chew on some rebar and march on.  I'm rooting for you!

 

 

 

 

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3 hours ago, Sirius said:

Chew on some rebar and march on.  I'm rooting for you!

I'm on it.  Made it through another day now :17_heart_eyes: 

Bring it on, tomorrow!  :2_grimacing:

 

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The things we pay dearly for we prize highly.

My quit is priceless and so is yours!

 

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 Red twizzler sticks got me through the early days.  Whatever works :)

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I cried almost non stop during my first month quit.  After a few weeks I was posting about how sad I was and that all I wanted to be was non smoker.    A man by the name of John posted in response "make no mistake about it, you are a non-smoker".   Those words changed everything for me.  I was making it so much more complicated than it had to be.  All I had to do is not smoke and boom!  I was a non smoker.

You're doing a fantastic job.  The first few weeks are the worst and you made it through!  Keep moving forward and congratulations!   You're a non-smoker!

 

 

 

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Pinky, first of all - have not heard from you in a couple days. Yep, it is me, tired of it.

About your fat friend you mentioned - Yeah, when we are in the throws of our nervous system shorting out like an electrical storm, the last thing we need is someone to be smart ass. Especially someone self-righteous like that. She doesn't understand what a REAL "quit" is. Someone who tried tobacco or drugs ONE time and doesn't go back has not "quit". One cannot "quit" until the ball of addiction is rolling. Funny how some smart ass always has something to say about a smoker's habit. But like for you, me, and probably everyone on this board, we know what a "quit" is, how hard it can be.

Think of it like this about smoking and tobacco - the cigarettes did this to you. What might help is if you can direct that anger to be pissed off at the cigarettes. it sounds silly but that worked for me. The cancer sticks messed up our nerves. F*** those things. Going back to it would be like going back to some abusive ex lover.

I am not exactly sure where you are in your quit program (I do remember your method though) but just try not to have any temptations around the house. I mean like no emergency smokes, get rid of (or at the very least hide) any smoking stuff so the routine is broken.

Right now I am at day 40 and in my short quit time, the desire does become less. You also start to think about how much any smoking got in the way of other stuff. Then you also notice you have a little more money that was not there before.

We do have to pay some dues in the way of withdraws though. AND, weird temptations come out of nowhere. Since it is on our minds a lot at first, any reference to smoking becomes louder somehow. It is the cigs wanting back into our lungs. And then you say to the crave... Well, pick your favorite and rudest most explicit way to say, "go away". I often "romance" smoking and want one but then I remember all the bad things. And, I got tired of it.

I will not pretend to know your lifestyle aside knowing you have a couple little ones. What works for me when life feels empty - I try to find some new hobby. I get burnt out on them fast but even if that is your case as well, it could maybe take your mind off the cancer sticks during the worst of the withdraw days. When life gets boring is when negative or painful thoughts slip in.

So drop me a line. Don't be a stranger, I enjoy our chats. I wasn't wanting to be a pest which is why I was quiet but know that my line is open to you anytime.  :)

 

Edited by Jetblack
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