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Not a bad day, but weird


bjean
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OK, today has been OK, but a little bit challenging.  First of all, I don't know if I feel nicotine withdrawal at all.  I did last Saturday, but I think what I'm experiencing down is the psychological withdrawal and it is kicking my butt!  I haven't caved in, but the constant badgering from my subconscious is wearing me out!  Today I got in my car and actually put my hand into the little cubby where I used to stash my cigarette pack.  Of course it's not there, but that's the first time I have ever just subconsciously reached in there to get a pack.  I thought this was supposed to get better!!!!   Maybe I'm just tired.  I did not sleep well last night and am really exhausted and about to head up for bed.  I'm glad you guys seem to be the sympathetic, patient types because I feel like I need to put something on here daily to keep myself on the straight and narrow.  I think I still have some routines that I may need to change to avoid that little devil on my shoulder telling me to light up.  There is a philosophy that says that you need to continue the same routines.  You need to fight your way through them so that you can CONQUER them.  I feel too weak for that right now  What does everybody think?  Fight or flight?

 

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Things only a person who's quitting smoking would understand:

 

16. Stress makes you want to smoke. Feeling tired makes you want to smoke. Hearing that it will rain in two weeks makes you want to smoke.

 

16-QSWU_makes-you-want-to-smoke.jpg

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Today I got in my car and actually put my hand into the little cubby where I used to stash my cigarette pack.  Of course it's not there, but that's the first time I have ever just subconsciously reached in there to get a pack.  I thought this was supposed to get better!!!! 

 

There is a four-way stop a couple of miles from where I work.  Every morning I would light up a smoke at that stop.  For at least three-weeks after quitting, I would either reach for the center console where I kept my cigarettes or make a point to remind myself that there are no cigarettes there.  I was like one of Pavlov's dogs at that intersection.  We conditioned ourselves for years with cigarettes.  That kind of thing takes a while to undo.

 

There is a philosophy that says that you need to continue the same routines.  You need to fight your way through them so that you can CONQUER them.  I feel too weak for that right now  What does everybody think?  Fight or flight?

 

I started my journey ready for a fight.  Continued with that mindset for about three-weeks...grit your teeth, hunker down, fight like hell, etc.  Then I asked myself: What are you fighting?  I am a nicotine addict.  There's no way to unring that bell.  I was at a point where the physical cravings were gone and all that remained where intermittent smoking thoughts.  Why fight spontaneous thoughts?  They come and go.  The only thing that matters is whether or not I act on those thoughts.

 

Once I figured out that I had all the power and knew that my commitment was strong, I couldn't find anything to fear in addiction and the irrational thoughts produced by it.  I didn't resist the thoughts, I simply let them happen and dismissed them just as quickly as they sprang to mind.  I won the battle decisively the moment I quit fighting.

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Boo said it just about right...

It's all about changing your routine..I as smoked all my adult life..so retraining myself to do everything without my

Little reward took a while...but everytime I did a task,it got easier..until I didn't think of them anymore..

I have bumped The Tabacco Documentaries.. 1,2,3...please watch...

This was the moment ..my brain changed its whole way of thinking..

I understood the trap...and started to guard my quit ,with everything I had....

I started to hate cigarettes, and the companies ,who don't care ,how many folks they kill...

Tell yourself ,you will not just become another number to them...it worked for me..

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Bjean I found the ones I missed were the happy relaxed smokes not the stressed ones so much. I still find on a sunny day sitting by the shore those are the ones I think about. Then I take a couple of deep clean breaths and that too passes. I am still retraining my mind. Hiking season is coming and at the end of long hard hike I would sit by the stream and light up. Sounds crazy but for me those are the ones that linger in my brain. I wouldn't say miss because that is wrong but I recall those more. It is all good just keep going forward. 

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Hi bjean.  You're doing great....even if it feels dismal at times.  Sounds like you're experiencing triggers (situations that you strongly associate with smoking).  I've copied a link to a post that Marti, a QT member, wrote a while back dealing with triggers.  Here you go:

 

https://www.quittrain.com/topic/6195-thoughts-on-triggers/?hl=triggers

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Things only a person who's quitting smoking would understand:

 

 

16. Stress makes you want to smoke. Feeling tired makes you want to smoke. Hearing that it will rain in two weeks makes you want to smoke.

 

16-QSWU_makes-you-want-to-smoke.jpg

That's a good visual, bjean. What I would add to it, though, is another larger bubble - the three bubbles contained within a larger one that's marked, "ADDICTION." That's what's at the root of all thoughts that come up to make excuses for or to justify smoking. What an insidious thing it is- this addiction. In so many other areas of my life I can own that I've been smart, innovative, made good choices. Where smoking is concerned, I was in the cloud of addiction for far too many years. I'm so grateful to be able to see clearly now and in difficult times during this quit I've been able to not allow my emotions to supercede my intelligence. Now that I'm educated, that is, thanks to all of you and the resources I've found to get to the truth. Hallelujah!

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What an insidious thing it is- this addiction.

 

Nicotine addiction is particularly insidious.  Finds its way into every aspect of our life.  Feeling stressed?  Smoke a cigarette.  Having a good time?  Smoke a cigarette.  Bored?  Smoke a cigarette.  No matter the question, smoking was always the answer.  Not only were we addicted, we elevated the cigarette to the status of magical elixir.

 

That first cigarette of the day was the one that woke you up and got you going.  The last cigarette of the day calmed you down so you could sleep.  Identical cigarettes yet we treated one as a stimulant and the other as a depressant.  It all seems so obvious now, but I held firm to my cognitive dissonance for 25 years.

 

Hallelujah!

 

I saw the light!

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Hi bjean.  My entire first month was pretty tough but things slowly got better.  I tried to avoid triggers as much as possible in the early days but a lot of people seem to do better confronting them.  Do whatever works best for you.  Just don't smoke!

 

btw, congratulations on one week + one day!   :)

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I think it's already been said very well by others bjean. Smoking really did occupy so much of our time and it invaded so many of our activities and thought processes that retraining our minds to function happily without cigarettes is the real challenge of quitting I think. It takes quite a while and we have to experience all those emotional situations at least once then figure out how to handle them without smoking. As you go through the entire list of things the whole process gets easier and easier the longer you continue moving forward. It is a tiring process though to be sure. It's relentless for the first while. I too was just exhausted most days in the early part of my quit and looked forward to getting to bed each night even though I knew I wouldn't sleep the whole night. Unfortunately, there's no easy way through all this stuff. You have to just go through it all to come out the other side. Once you do though, it's magnificent and you'll never have to do it again providing you just continue to NOPE!

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