Spoiled Brats / Nicotine Addicts

[Sazerac]

It was after quitting smoking, I realized  how addiction had turned me into a spoiled brat.
I indulged myself completely,  I smoked anytime and anywhere possible.

My most shameful example was after a home birth,
my brand new daughter, alive and healthy,
was being walked around by her father and I said to my midwifes,
'man,  after 9 months and the last 12 hours, I NEED A SMOKE'.
One of my midwifes asked,
'Really ?'
'Yes yes yes yes yes YES, I want a smoke !"

                                                                                                          

She handed me a non filtered cigarette from the pack she had hidden in her jacket
and that was the end of that abstinence for 29 years !

I call it 'abstinence' because I never ever wanted to quit
and only quit smokes and drinks 'temporarily' for pregnancy.
That was really Big of me, huh ?

 

I didn't give a hoot about second hand smoke
and that was worse than just acting the spoiled brat.

Second hand smoke does actual HARM to people, animals and plants.

 

Smoking is suicidal, homicidal, herbicidal, biocidal
all the cidal-s you can think of and continues to make
the tobacco companies rich beyond measure
Gah! 

I am elated  to not be lining those evil pockets anymore
glad also, to not be 'cidal' anything.
and one more thing...

                                                                               

My Spoiled Brat also made quitting harder.
'This is too hard'  the brat would moan
'I don't want to !'  the brat would whine
'Why Are You Denying Yourself ? '
The Brat cajoled and wheedled
until I simply had no other choice,
I killed the Spoiled Brat.
Killed Dead.
Spoiled Brat-icide.
Hah !

If you are thinking about quitting, Know You Can.
You don't have to be the spoiled brat that addiction turns us into or,  a slave to nicotine anymore.
You Can Quit.

[Evelyn]

When my father was in the hospital dying of lungcancer, me and my mom sneaked downstairs for a smoke outside :(

[Doreensfree]

When i had my first little baby...weighing in at six pounds...

The ash tray was waiting on the cupboard next to me...

Ignorance..selfishness..stupid...as she was growing up...I wouldn't let the wind blow on her..

Just my second hand smoke...

[Sunnyside]

I could list so many times, all as bad as each other. Smoking never seemed to be my life but it certainly was.

You need to break though to the other side and then it is so obvious :(

[bakon]

It is a very selfish habit. Things I didn't do because I wanted to smoke...

[Sazerac]

Something somebody said reminded me of me and my spoiled brat-dom.

I was almost three years into my quit when I wrote this.

 

On 7/1/2016 at 8:41 AM, Sazerac said:

It was after quitting smoking, I realized  how addiction had turned me into a spoiled brat.
I indulged myself completely,  I smoked anytime and anywhere possible.

My most shameful example was after a home birth,
my brand new daughter, alive and healthy,
was being walked around by her father and I said to my midwifes,
'man,  after 9 months and the last 12 hours, I NEED A SMOKE'.
One of my midwifes asked,
'Really ?'
'Yes yes yes yes yes YES, I want a smoke !"

                                                                                                          

She handed me a non filtered cigarette from the pack she had hidden in her jacket
and that was the end of that abstinence for 29 years !

I call it 'abstinence' because I never ever wanted to quit
and only quit smokes and drinks 'temporarily' for pregnancy.
That was really Big of me, huh ?

 

I didn't give a hoot about second hand smoke
and that was worse than just acting the spoiled brat.

Second hand smoke does actual HARM to people, animals and plants.

 

Smoking is suicidal, homicidal, herbicidal, biocidal
all the cidal-s you can think of and continues to make
the tobacco companies rich beyond measure
Gah! 

I am elated  to not be lining those evil pockets anymore
glad also, to not be 'cidal' anything.
and one more thing...

                                                                               

My Spoiled Brat also made quitting harder.
'This is too hard'  the brat would moan
'I don't want to !'  the brat would whine
'Why Are You Denying Yourself ? '
The Brat cajoled and wheedled
until I simply had no other choice,
I killed the Spoiled Brat.
Killed Dead.
Spoiled Brat-icide.
Hah !

If you are thinking about quitting, Know You Can.
You don't have to be the spoiled brat that addiction turns us into or,  a slave to nicotine anymore.
You Can Quit.

 

[notsmokinjo]

I'd quit while pregnant and feeding but the minute that was done... smoke back in mouth... not proud of it. AT ALL. 

[jillar]

I LOVE this post, thank you for sharing

[beazel]

Geez....from Brat to Angel.....pretty cool. (thank you)!

[Sazerac]

Coming to terms with how addiction turned us into selfish, spoiled brats

made it easier for me to identify the addicts voice and choose Freedom's voice.

The voices are both powerful and one leads us to incredible changes and attitudes,

the other keeps us down and abused.

Start listening to your voice of freedom no matter how faint it may be,

it will soon be so beautifully loud and inspiring.

Your Spoiled Addicted Brat has nothing for you.

Never did, never, never will.

[Sazerac]

bump

[Sirius]

Sazerac,

 

Not sure if you were really a spoiled brat or just in denial about what you were actually doing.

 

Regardless, I see you on this board constantly helping others so maybe the karma will balance out someday.  

[Sazerac]

On 7/1/2016 at 8:41 AM, Sazerac said:

It was after quitting smoking, I realized  how addiction had turned me into a spoiled brat.
I indulged myself completely,  I smoked anytime and anywhere possible.

My most shameful example was after a home birth,
my brand new daughter, alive and healthy,
was being walked around by her father and I said to my midwifes,
'man,  after 9 months and the last 12 hours, I NEED A SMOKE'.
One of my midwifes asked,
'Really ?'
'Yes yes yes yes yes YES, I want a smoke !"

                                                                                                          

She handed me a non filtered cigarette from the pack she had hidden in her jacket
and that was the end of that abstinence for 29 years !

I call it 'abstinence' because I never ever wanted to quit
and only quit smokes and drinks 'temporarily' for pregnancy.
That was really Big of me, huh ?

 

I didn't give a hoot about second hand smoke
and that was worse than just acting the spoiled brat.

Second hand smoke does actual HARM to people, animals and plants.

 

Smoking is suicidal, homicidal, herbicidal, biocidal
all the cidal-s you can think of and continues to make
the tobacco companies rich beyond measure
Gah! 

I am elated  to not be lining those evil pockets anymore
glad also, to not be 'cidal' anything.
and one more thing...

                                                                               

My Spoiled Brat also made quitting harder.
'This is too hard'  the brat would moan
'I don't want to !'  the brat would whine
'Why Are You Denying Yourself ? '
The Brat cajoled and wheedled
until I simply had no other choice,
I killed the Spoiled Brat.
Killed Dead.
Spoiled Brat-icide.
Hah !

If you are thinking about quitting, Know You Can.
You don't have to be the spoiled brat that addiction turns us into or,  a slave to nicotine anymore.
You Can Quit.

 

 

I don't want to make light of how anyone feels during their detox from nicotine but,

please ! look at the big picture...you never have to go through this again

and all the discomfort is temporary.

Freedom is Forever.

 

[Diane R]

Thanks for sharing this. 

[Mee]

On 10/21/2018 at 9:50 AM, Sirius said:

Not sure if you were really a spoiled brat or just in denial about what you were actually doing.

I feel we were in denial.  Our heads in the sand.  The evil things smoking would do were not going to happen to us.  

As the years piled on, the fear would creep to the top occasionally but we could push it right back down because of the addiction.

Then the view changed and smokers became ostracized and shamed.  That is when it really hit home with me.  Instead of hiding my head in the sand, I began hiding myself in my home and not smoking around people.  The isolation and shame lead to depression. Thank goodness I stumbled upon this forum.  Freedom from the addiction is the best!

[notsmokinjo]

2 hours ago, Linda Thomas said:

I feel we were in denial.  Our heads in the sand.  The evil things smoking would do were not going to happen to us.  

As the years piled on, the fear would creep to the top occasionally but we could push it right back down because of the addiction.

Then the view changed and smokers became ostracized and shamed.  That is when it really hit home with me.  Instead of hiding my head in the sand, I began hiding myself in my home and not smoking around people.  The isolation and shame lead to depression. Thank goodness I stumbled upon this forum.  Freedom from the addiction is the best!

 

Remember your first posts....you amaze me Linda....how much you have grown from I'm too old and not strong enough...I love how being free has let you take back your life and yourself. 

[Reciprocity]

19 minutes ago, notsmokinjo said:

 

Remember your first posts....you amaze me Linda....how much you have grown from I'm too old and not strong enough...I love how being free has let you take back your life and yourself. 

Yup! These are the stories I love to see and we've been graced with a few. Not just people quitting this horrible addiction but actually transforming their lives at the same time. Frickin fantastic! 

[Mee]

2 hours ago, reciprocity said:

Yup! These are the stories I love to see and we've been graced with a few. Not just people quitting this horrible addiction but actually transforming their lives at the same time. Frickin fantastic! 

 

2 hours ago, notsmokinjo said:

Remember your first posts....you amaze me Linda....how much you have grown from I'm too old and not strong enough...I love how being free has let you take back your life and yourself. 

What is Frickin fantastic is the wonderful people on this forum that made me realize that I was stronger than I ever realized.  I have been very blessed to have you all travel this road with me.

I feel like I have grown a lifetime in this year (minus a couple of weeks).   You all have helped me see the best in me and helped me realize that I am worthy of a life free of addiction.  

Thank you all so much!!!!!!

Edited July 17, 2019 by Linda Thomas

[Kate18]

On 7/1/2016 at 6:45 AM, Evelyn said:

When my father was in the hospital dying of lungcancer, me and my mom sneaked downstairs for a smoke outside

My father was on hospice with smoking-caused emphysema for about four months. My weekly visits with him never lasted more than an hour at a time. I was a closet smoker. I'd make excuses to leave. I couldn't stand another minute without smoking. 

[Sazerac]

On 7/1/2016 at 8:41 AM, Sazerac said:

It was after quitting smoking, I realized  how addiction had turned me into a spoiled brat.
I indulged myself completely,  I smoked anytime and anywhere possible.

My most shameful example was after a home birth,
my brand new daughter, alive and healthy,
was being walked around by her father and I said to my midwifes,
'man,  after 9 months and the last 12 hours, I NEED A SMOKE'.
One of my midwifes asked,
'Really ?'
'Yes yes yes yes yes YES, I want a smoke !"

                                                                                                          

She handed me a non filtered cigarette from the pack she had hidden in her jacket
and that was the end of that abstinence for 29 years !

I call it 'abstinence' because I never ever wanted to quit
and only quit smokes and drinks 'temporarily' for pregnancy.
That was really Big of me, huh ?

 

I didn't give a hoot about second hand smoke
and that was worse than just acting the spoiled brat.

Second hand smoke does actual HARM to people, animals and plants.

 

Smoking is suicidal, homicidal, herbicidal, biocidal
all the cidal-s you can think of and continues to make
the tobacco companies rich beyond measure
Gah! 

I am elated  to not be lining those evil pockets anymore
glad also, to not be 'cidal' anything.
and one more thing...

                                                                               

My Spoiled Brat also made quitting harder.
'This is too hard'  the brat would moan
'I don't want to !'  the brat would whine
'Why Are You Denying Yourself ? '
The Brat cajoled and wheedled
until I simply had no other choice,
I killed the Spoiled Brat.
Killed Dead.
Spoiled Brat-icide.
Hah !

If you are thinking about quitting, Know You Can.
You don't have to be the spoiled brat that addiction turns us into or,  a slave to nicotine anymore.
You Can Quit.

 

bump

[HeatherDianne]

WOW great post - I just wrote my reasons I want my quit back and this post matches how I feel about social events

 

 

Social Life - This one is hard to admit - but the minute I hear we are going somewhere or doing something - I wonder when and where I will be able to smoke and if I can't I often avoid the function - How crazy is that? As I write it down I realize this is holding me back and affecting my friendships. Without even realizing it - I push people away when I cannot smoke around them. CRAZY

 

[Mona]

Excellent post, Saz!  I can relate 100%!!!