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Stupid Things Smokers Say


Colleen
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Be it what you would say as a smoker or what you now hear as a non-smoker...or both :)

 

So every day, several times a day somebody behind me at work says..."I'm going out for some fresh air" and comes back smelling like a dirty ashtray.  Um excuse me pal, but what part of that cigarette provides you with fresh air?  Maybe I'm missing something, but it sounds so ridiculous.

 

Things I said:  I enjoy smoking.  If I die early, at least I enjoyed myself.  WTF planet was I on??!  Not Earth apparently, 

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At age 25: Quit? I like smoking. Why would I quit?

 

At age 50: Quit? Yea I shoulda quit years ago, I oughta quit but I can't.

 

At age:70: That damn chemo, I'm sicker than a dog. I need a smoke, now! Here, hold my oxygen bottle.

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Before:

 

"My allergies are really acting up..." while hacking away with obvious smoker's cough...

 

Now:

 

"Gee, I guess my allergies are gone..."   duh, yeah, because you removed 7,000 chemicals...

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  • 2 years later...

Old thread, but good on to bump back up, Doreen.....

 

 

One of my dumb "comments" was......

 

"No one knows I smoke"

 

Anyone with a sense of smell knew I smoked! I may not have smoked when they were around me, but I know now how bad I must have smelled. The only person I think was really fooled, was ME!

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"Theres so many things that kill you why not smoke/youre going to die someday" - every smoker i know.

There might be a situation where I wouldn't care if I smoked.  Finding myself in a Pals regiment on the eve of the Battle of the Somme comes to mind.

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"I could get hit by a bus"

 

This is statistically highly improbable (I mean how many f#*king people got hit by a bus in the last century), however dying of a smoking related disease has a chance of at least 66% according to recent figures. These figures don't include the toll of pain and suffering of the smoking related problems you don't die from and the potential disability.

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