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The struggle is bad tonight


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I was struggling last night but tonight is worse, I am almost at my three months and I am so ready to give up.Had a not so pleasant conversation with a friend and really kind of down tonight. I keep telling myself it will get better but its not working

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You got this Linda, just take deep breaths or use your air cigarette and take deep drags (breaths). 

Remember you're in the drivers seat 🤗

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You could also do something that you never smoked doing. That will help get your mind off the crave. I used to take a short drive in my car and as soon as I got in the car I forgot about smoking since I never smoked in it. 

Edited by jillar
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I smoked in my car so that won't work

Just now, Linda said:

I smoked in my car so that won't work

Just running out of strength to fight this shit

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I remember those days Linda and you're right they do suck. I just kept trying different tricks until I found one that worked. And if I couldn't I just went to bed hoping tomorrow would be better and it almost always was.

This fight won't be forever but it will be worth it 🤗

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You and only you are in control of your quit now Linda. We can give information about nicotine addiction and the quitting process, as we've seen it during our own quits, but in the end you alone will determine what happens with your quit.

 

Lately, it seems you have been questioning whether quitting is worth it for you? Maybe it's time you sit yourself down and ask/answer (honestly) these questions:

(Left Side of Page)1. What do I think lighting up a smoke will do for me both short term and longer term?

(Right side of page) 2. Why did I quit in the first place 3 months ago? Has that reason changed or has my desire to achieve that goal changed in these past 3 months?

(Right side of page) 3. List as many benefits from quitting smoking that you have noticed in your life in these past 3 months.

(Left side of page) 4. List things you think you have lost since quitting smoking.

 

Maybe if you do an audit on the pros and cons of quitting, and where you see yourself in the process right now, it will help you to prioritize what it is you really want and whether or not you are on the right path for achieving those short term life goals.

 

Just a suggestion because sometimes, we can't see the forest for the trees, as they say. Writing it out on paper can sometimes help us focus on what's most important to us.

 

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I've yet to see a Happy Relapser Linda ...

You would regret losing your wonderful quit ....3 months is a quit to be proud of ...

Imagine what that crap would taste like ...how sick you would feel..

Putting back  all those poisons back you have fought hard to get rid of ...

We can only give you the tools ...the work has to be yours and how bad you want it ...

 

Edited by Doreensfree
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stop focusing on reasons to smoke -thats pretty unhealthy thinking

You can't reach a destination driving in reverse

You've made it quite a distance down the road. If you quit your quit you'll regret it

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I go with what the Pig lover is stating -- do a self-assessment.  You may be surprised at what you find and will be encouraged.  Also maybe time for some positive thinking (even if forced) is recommended!!!! 

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You don't want to smoke, Linda. Take it from me. I would've had 6 months by now if I hadn't of relapsed. It will taste terrible and you'll feel worse than you do now. Please try to keep your quit. Things get better I will tell you that.

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@Linda, you've got all these replies from people who care so can you at least let us know how you are doing?

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I have not smoked,but it has not been easy. Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement. Sorry I did not mean to be rude just not feeling very social today.

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Yay Linda, so happy for you. Thank you for checking in 🤗

Ps. I hope tomorrow is better for you and hopefully today wasn't as bad as yesterday...

Edited by jillar
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Linda, I am sorry you are having a hard time.  However, time for some tough love.  You have to stop trying to quit and just QUIT!  Make up your mind that you are a never-again-smoker and figure out how to move on with your life.  There is absolutely no circumstance where it is okay to smoke.  Not hurt feelings, not depression, not anger, not weight gain, not a zombie invasion.  And it is rude to throw out an SOS to people who care and come back a day later saying you just did not feel social.  If you don't like this response, remember just to take what you want and leave the rest.

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23 hours ago, Nancy said:

Linda, I am sorry you are having a hard time.  However, time for some tough love.  You have to stop trying to quit and just QUIT!  Make up your mind that you are a never-again-smoker and figure out how to move on with your life.  There is absolutely no circumstance where it is okay to smoke.  Not hurt feelings, not depression, not anger, not weight gain, not a zombie invasion.  And it is rude to throw out an SOS to people who care and come back a day later saying you just did not feel social.  If you don't like this response, remember just to take what you want and leave the rest.

I will definitely do that!!!

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Great job keeping that quit, Linda! It's hard now, and its going to stay hard until it eases up.  It will ease up eventually. For me, 4 months was a lot better. Then 6. Then 9.  Please try to occupy your mind with something that wipes it free of all thoughts including smoking. Puzzles, crochet, exercise, a movie...cooking...anything that consumes you except smoking. It will get better.  It takes time...only God knows how much. You have to have the longer breath, so to speak. Be more tenacious and more determined than your addiction, and you will prevail.  Hope your days get better soon.

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A bit of unsolicited advice that sometimes helped in my situation.  

 

Walking.

 

Get out and stretch the legs.  Get the blood pumping and focus on movement and breathing.

Watch for traffic and immerse into the here and now.

 

After fifteen minutes increase the pace. 

 

When you tire, slow it down a notch, and circle on back home.

 

Take in the sights, and sounds.  It's spring, things are greening, flowers blooming, traffic flowing,

rain falling, and you're a part of it all.

 

Your breathing is rhythmic and natural.

 

You're alive and it's good to be living.

 

 

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I hear you Linda, I only joined this forum yesterday. I quit 24 days ago and this past weekend have been the worst 2 days so far. I actually said out loud I was going to go outside and buy 1 from someone. I didn't yet . I know if I do give in I will be really pissed off at myself after. I knew this was going to be hard but the wanting one and not being able to have one is such a struggle and I am not so certain I want or can deal with this struggle every day. Good luck in your fight. 

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15 minutes ago, Barb63 said:

the wanting one and not being able to have one 

@Barb63 you can have one you're just choosing not to! You have the power not the cigarette. I quit because I had to too and had a hard first year but it was only because I kept thinking I was missing out instead of embracing all the awesome things I was already noticing from quitting.

Hang in there, things will get better I promise 🤗

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A Health issue has forced me to quit. Had this not come up, I would never have tried to quit just because I knew it was bad to smoke. 

I see your quit date was 2016. Congratulations. Do you still struggle with it ? How often can you say you want one ?

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No, I don't struggle at all. And I never want one anymore. I do still rarely have a trigger come up that makes a smoking thought pop up but its easily swatted away. 

I quit for health reasons too and even wrote a "poor me everyone else can smoke and I can't" thread on another forum around my six month quit mark. And the good people of the forum talked me down and made me realize they didn't GET to smoke, they HAD to smoke! I had my freedom back and from then on it was easier 😊

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Same here Barb63! I was climbing the walls and going out of my mind the first while when I quit. I thought having a smoke would end that feeling and it was VERY tempting but I also knew if I did not only would I have to do the hard withdrawal over again next time I quit but I might just decide not to quit again which would have been deadly for me. So I gritted my teeth and powered through the tough times and yes, in fact, it DID get easier after a while - not immediately but after a while I noticed it was not always as intense so hang in there. It'll be no different for you.

 

I just passed my 4th year being quit (Jan 2017) and I don't ever desire a smoke these days. Haven't for years. Do I even have thoughts about smoking or as Jillar said "mild triggers" .... sure I do occasionally but they are laughable at this point. If someone told me tomorrow I had only two weeks to live, would I start smoking again? No I wouldn't because I no longer need to feed my addiction and gaining that freedom ... taking back MY life is very important to me and I would never want to give that up again - never!!

Edited by reciprocity
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