Stay focused

[MLMR]

Yesterday I was with my best friend. She is 46 and has COPD. I am afraid she will be dead within 10 years, if she doesnt make some radical lifestyle changes. Let me rephrase that: I fear for her life. Its not 'just' the smoking that worries me, but everything that comes with it: bad food choices and a range of associated physical worries, chronic slavery, underlying depression and financial problems.

We did food shopping together. I was looking at her from a distance when she didnt see me and tears came to my eyes. The panting, trying to hide how tired she is. Looking at least 12 years older than her real age. And right after we leave the shopping mall she lights up, because she knows she cant smoke in my car..

Its been 2 years, 6 months and11 days since I quit. Once in a while I pause and take the time to write down whatever comes to my mind about quitting. Dont have to, but I want to. I could thank myself a million times for making the decision back then and I want to keep that gratitude anchored. I never thought id be able to meditate, breaking up without falling apart, switching jobs, saying some final goodbyes, drastically reframing my future and yet feeling more at ease with myself than ever before.

I whish there were ways to convince my friend to quit as well. I know she can and I know everbody can. If only she took the chance to free herself of all the horible junkie thinking. I cant even begin to imagine what its like to fear for your spouses life, or a family member. Last week I had a cremation of someone who died of smoking related illnesses. Not someone very close, but still. It didnt impress my friend one bit. Crazy, sick addiction that does unimaginable things to otherwise healthy brains.

 

Edited March 7, 2021 by MLMR

[Reciprocity]

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink!

[jillar]

Its so hard to watch someone we care about continue to do something that's killing them. I can't make my sister laugh when we talk on the phone anymore because of the hacking it causes her  

[Mee]

@MLMR, I always miss your wisdom when you are absent.  You did such a wonderful job of encouraging others on the forum.  Maybe you could encourage your friend in the same way.  Though I have quit, I still keep holding my breath on waiting for health issues from the years of abuse to my body.  She is so young to be dealing with COPD.