Stopping Smoking vs Quitting Smoking

[JH63]

I have been having a lot of problems for the last few weeks. Everyday is as bad as the day before. All I do is think about how not to smoke everyday. The work I'm doing to abstain from smoking is slowly wearing me down. I'm getting to the point of rationalizing smoking again. Not having to think about not smoking all the time would be a great relief to me.

 Yesterday I went back and read all my posts from the very first day I joined this forum (9 pages). The common thread I took from those posts and the replies, was that I have only ever stopped smoking. I have never quit smoking!

I'm good at stopping for various lengths of time. I can stop smoking using any method. I've used them all over the years. I had a cold turkey stop last year for 31 days. Of my seven stops last year that was the longest. On Wednesday of next week I will have doubled that. But I still haven't quit smoking in my mind!

Maybe someday I will be able to say I have quit smoking. Maybe I will break this mental block at some point. But right now it doesn't look good.  I'd like to hit my goal of 18 weeks not smoking. That would be my lifetime longest stop. But I'm getting tired. I don't know how to break this cycle of stopping and starting over and over. I put up a good fight, but I never reach the ultimate goal.

Quitting Forever! 

 

[jillar]

Hi Jeff, the constant thoughts of smoking in the early days of quitting is completely normal and one of the most frustrating parts of quitting for many of us. I believe its the cause of a few people losing their quits just to get relief from it. The problem with that is, as you've seen over and over, you have to begin at step one all over again when you decide to "stop" again.

The constant thoughts won't last forever but you will need to go through them to get past them. 

Its obvious you want to quit because you keep trying. So my suggestion is to use the clues given to you to help. My air cigarette and soft peppermint puffs helped me through my whole first year. I also would remind myself over and over again the reasons for my quitting. I would tell myself things like "all good(?) things must come to an end". And then compare it to things I outgrew or got too old to do anymore like dirt bike riding or amusement park rides. Those types of things. Also remember that you're choosing to quit. You can smoke anytime you want, you just don't want to anymore. Those are the things that helped me.

Keep your goal of 18 weeks because I REALLY think by then you'll start feeling better. And lean on us to help get you there

 

[johnny5]

I agree with what Jill said.

 

Things do get better with time.  I was a "serial quitter" or stopper too.  The quit/relapse cycle sucks and it seems clear that you want to quit as you keep trying.  If you keep the quit, you will not have to go through these early days again.  The best thing for you to do from a physical and mental health is to keep the quit and end the frustrating cycle you are in.

[Linda]

Jeff keep hanging in there one day at a time. I understand what you are feeling It is a constant battles that does wear you down. But don't give up !!!!

[Boo]

5 hours ago, JH63 said:

I'm getting to the point of rationalizing smoking again. Not having to think about not smoking all the time would be a great relief to me.

 

Addiction demands a great deal of attention.  This is true when you're feeding the addiction.  This is also true when you're leaving the addiction behind.

 

The obsessive thoughts encountered during the early days of a quit wane and eventually vanish.  The obsessive thoughts smokers have about getting their next fix are a ball and chain that you will drag around the rest of your life.

 

Quitting offers a return on investment.  Smoking just keeps you on the same old self-destructive cycle you already know.

 

5 hours ago, JH63 said:

 I don't know how to break this cycle of stopping and starting over and over.

 

Relentless forward progress.  You reach the goal by consistently moving towards your goal.

 

No backtracking.  No U-Turns.  You keep moving forward; it's the only way.

[JH63]

Thanks Everyone!

@jillar What you said about comparing quitting smoking to other things that I have had to give up because I'm getting too old to do them anymore, makes sense. Health wise I can't afford to keep smoking anymore. There are many things I can't do anymore because of my age. I will keep that in mind.  You said something else a week or so ago about someone you knew that passed from causes related to smoking. And that they died wearing a nicotine patch. That stuck in my mind, because it puts this addiction into the proper prospective, (reality).

 

@Boo I understand what you are saying about there being a lot of work to continuously supplying myself with a fix of nicotine. And you are certainly correct!  But for some reason, after 50 yrs. of doing that, it doesn't seem like work to me. It's just something I normally did. I will keep what you say in mind also. When I am happy to be get rid of that Ball and Chain you speak of, I will be truly Quit!

 

[jillar]

39 minutes ago, JH63 said:

You said something else a week or so ago about someone you knew that passed from causes related to smoking. And that they died wearing a nicotine patch. That stuck in my mind, because it puts this addiction into the proper prospective, (reality).

 

It was both of my parents who died with nicotine patches on, administered by the hospital to keep them comfortable. And yes, it does put it into prospective......

 

[JH63]

@jillar I am sorry to hear that.

The reason that story stuck in my mind is because about two years ago I had to have a pacemaker installed. I went to the hospital with a patch on. Had the surgery. They put me in the cardiac ward overnight for observation. Later when I came around I noticed they had removed the patch some time during the surgery! My wife had one in her pocketbook for me to use the next day, so I put it on without telling them.

I talked to my youngest daughter on the phone, as she was away at nursing school, and told her about it. She didn't like it, to say the least. But I left it on. That's what this addiction does to you! Take Care!

[Doreensfree]

I too J  smoked over 50 years ...

I stopped smoking at the start because of a health warning from my GP....that quite frankly scared the hell out of me ...getting news that my lungs were in poor shape I would have expected....

But ...amputation of both feet .....youv,e got to be kiddin me ...

After a few months of being here ...I watched the 3 documentaries...

That when I started quitting not just stopping .....it was my light bulb moment ....

Everyone ,s light bulb moment is different and at different stages ....

But in time it always happens ....

Your,s will too....as long as you don't pick up another cigerette...

[Mona]

On 2/27/2021 at 11:50 AM, JH63 said:

I have been having a lot of problems for the last few weeks. Everyday is as bad as the day before. All I do is think about how not to smoke everyday. The work I'm doing to abstain from smoking is slowly wearing me down. I'm getting to the point of rationalizing smoking again. Not having to think about not smoking all the time would be a great relief to me.

Don't you have quitting on your mind when you're smoking though?

 Yesterday I went back and read all my posts from the very first day I joined this forum (9 pages). The common thread I took from those posts and the replies, was that I have only ever stopped smoking. I have never quit smoking!

What is the difference?

I'm good at stopping for various lengths of time. I can stop smoking using any method. I've used them all over the years. I had a cold turkey stop last year for 31 days. Of my seven stops last year that was the longest. On Wednesday of next week I will have doubled that. But I still haven't quit smoking in my mind!

Maybe someday I will be able to say I have quit smoking.

You have already quit smoking.

Maybe I will break this mental block at some point. But right now it doesn't look good.  I'd like to hit my goal of 18 weeks not smoking. That would be my lifetime longest stop. But I'm getting tired. I don't know how to break this cycle of stopping and starting over and over. I put up a good fight, but I never reach the ultimate goal.

Quitting Forever! 

The only way to permanently break the cycle is to never smoke again.

 

 

I think people that really want to quit smoking find it easier than those that need to quit or those that think that they should quit but don't really want to.  The first time I quit smoking, almost 5 years ago, I had upcoming major surgery and was told that I had to be quit for at least 2 months prior to surgery.  The surgeon said that smokers don't heal as well and the risks were too high.  I quit cold turkey and it was horrible but I stuck it out.  Even though I didn't really want to quit, in time, I didn't even think about smoking anymore.  I know that while you're in the thick of it, it's hard to believe that it will happen for you, but it will!  There is a price to pay for that freedom though.  You have to go through the tough days in the beginning.

[Boo]

On 2/27/2021 at 11:50 PM, JH63 said:

 

@Boo I understand what you are saying about there being a lot of work to continuously supplying myself with a fix of nicotine. And you are certainly correct!  But for some reason, after 50 yrs. of doing that, it doesn't seem like work to me. It's just something I normally did. I will keep what you say in mind also. When I am happy to be get rid of that Ball and Chain you speak of, I will be truly Quit!

 

Just like smoking became normal to us with time and repetition, not smoking becomes normal with time and repetition.

 

20 hours ago, Mona said:

 I quit cold turkey and it was horrible but I stuck it out.  Even though I didn't really want to quit, in time, I didn't even think about smoking anymore.  I know that while you're in the thick of it, it's hard to believe that it will happen for you, but it will!  There is a price to pay for that freedom though.  You have to go through the tough days in the beginning.

 

Bingo!

[JH63]

On 2/28/2021 at 5:19 PM, Mona said:

Don't you have quitting on your mind when you're smoking though?

 

Yes, I always think about quitting even when I'm smoking. To tell you the truth, the only time I don't think about quitting is for short periods of time when I'm working on something or I'm asleep. Quitting smoking has been a full time thing for me the last couple of years. Last year alone I stopped smoking seven times for a total of 121 days. So, yes my mind is consumed with quitting.

[Steven Drojensky]

Thank you for the observation, Jeff. I believe that has been my problem as well. I can stop for periods of time, but never make the final quit decision. This time around is the time for the forever quit. It has messed up my esophagus so bad that even chewing nicotine gum burns when I chew it so cold turkey is the best method for me. I will check in more. I had a near miss today wanting to go buy cigarettes again, but stopped myself. It was a real stupid reason to smoke and I would've had to start over AGAIN and it just wouldn't have been worth it. It will be rough, but I can get through it even if I have to cry or get briefly angry. I have been dealing with loss of appetite so tomorrow I will pick up some Ensure drinks just so I'm getting some kind of calories and nutrition in my body. This will be a rough road somedays but I think with everyone's support I can make this my forever quit.

[JH63]

@Steven Drojensky I'm glad that you are back on track! Hang in here with us. We are all going through the same thing.  There are a lot of people here who have also been through what we are going through. 

I quit posting here for awhile because I felt like they had forgot what it was really like in those first days, weeks, months.  I was and still am somewhat jealous of the people here that have what I want.  A good solid quit!  I got a lot of advice I didn't want to hear. But after awhile I figured out that the problem was not with them, it was with me.  It was what I needed to hear whether I liked it or not.

I'd like to qualify what I just said. I believe everyone's quit is a little different because we are all different, come from different backgrounds, and have had different experiences.  So we have to choose what we take and what we leave when it comes to advice from others.

Good Luck!

[Paul723]

I had to be honest with myself and realize that I was a nicotine addict and I couldn't have any more of it.  The phrase I used was, "Smoking is not an option".  A lot of smokers deep down fear that they will be successful at quitting and they fear that will never smoke again.  That's what frightens you?  It's hard to change but it's doable and so worth it.

[AceWhite]

This is a great topic! As a smoker, I always thought about quitting even when smoking just as you stated.

You need to hang in there and keep putting distance between you and that last smoke.

The farther you get, the less of a pull it has on you.

Never forget WHY you wanted to quit, and focus on that

[Reciprocity]

8 minutes ago, AceWhite said:

This is a great topic! As a smoker, I always thought about quitting even when smoking just as you stated.

You need to hang in there and keep putting distance between you and that last smoke.

The farther you get, the less of a pull it has on you.

Never forget WHY you wanted to quit, and focus on that

^^^ THIS!

You get it. Carry on to freedom!