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I smoked 4 cigarettes today.


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I just wanted to tell the group instead of taking credit for a month tomorrow. I tried to copy and paste a new date from my phone, but forgot where to paste it in after copying. I am starting work with a therapist tomorrow to deal with my bipolar issues and other reasons why I hate myself so much. I do not wish to continue self destructive behavior. The smoking will not fix anything. Next week, I am also going to take an eshopogram for my Barrett's esophagus. 

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Aww man Steven that just sucks! I literally had just picked out the #1 GIF I was going to use for your one month anniversary when I read this 😞

Sure wish you would have posted that you were struggling BEFORE you decided to smoke......

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Sorry to hear you caved to the crave. Hopefully working with your therapist will help you to sort your priorities and allow you to get back on track with your quit. There's a legion of people here to support you when you do try again. I think you probably already know that though.

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3 minutes ago, jillar said:

Aww man Steven that just sucks! I literally had just picked out the #1 GIF I was going to use for your one month anniversary when I read this 😞

Sure wish you would have posted that you were struggling BEFORE you decided to smoke......

Are you saying that I can't change my date and try again?

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1 minute ago, Steven Drojensky said:

Are you saying that I can't change my date and try again?

Of course I'm not saying that! But I am saying that if you had of posted you were craving maybe we could of helped you past it so you wouldn't have lost that one month quit you had going

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Oh Steven, so sorry to hear this but don't hate on yourself.  I hope you have found a good therapist and they are able to help you with your troubles.  I think most addicitions are coping mechanisms and it can be very difficult to learn to cope with the difficulties in life in healthier ways.  The important thing is to not give up and it's obvious that you haven't because every time you have relapsed, you have gone right back to quitting.  Good on you for seeking professional help.  I hope it gives you what you need to stay on track and address your health issue.

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Thank you Jillar,  Mona and Reciprocity. I am not giving up. I will use the group next time this happens. I guess I feel shameful to ask for help. I need to break that cycle. I have had past experiences reaching out that didn't end well. I am glad you are all willing to keep helping me. 

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 I am also very sorry to hear that you lost your quit. I understand, as it has happened to me many times.

Get yourself past it right away! Think about what happened and put up some roadblocks that will help prevent this from happening again. Promise yourself something like this.

 

 If I decide to give up my quit, I must wait 24 hrs. after I've made that decision before I actually pick-up. If posting an SOS is a problem then promise yourself that you will private message someone here that you have become friends with and wait on a reply before you pick-up. Giving yourself time to think is the key! I don't think you gave yourself anyway out. We are all here to help!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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3 minutes ago, JH63 said:

 I am also very sorry to hear that you lost your quit. I understand, as it has happened to me many times.

Get yourself past it right away! Think about what happened and put up some roadblocks that will help prevent this from happening again. Promise yourself something like this.

 

 If I decide to give up my quit, I must wait 24 hrs. after I've made that decision before I actually pick-up. If posting an SOS is a problem then promise yourself that you will private message someone here that you have become friends with and wait on a reply before you pick-up. Giving yourself time to think is the key! I don't think you gave yourself anyway out. We are all here to help!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That is a good plan. Thank you, JH63.

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Steven, I don't know if it is the best plan, but is part of my quit plan. There are others here who will also come to your aid and will most likely have other ideas for you to consider.

We all want to see you succeed at this.

It's important that you shake this off right away. It will be easier for you if you go right back to not smoking at all! Don't get down on yourself. Let this set back make you more determined and committed to quitting. You had to have a reason, or reasons for quitting in the first place. Go back and revisit those reasons. Make sure you have written them down and keep them close.

Jeff

 

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Jeff, I threw out what I had left for that very reason. I am starting again immediately. I have to sign off and get to bed now. If someone can tell where to copy and paste the ticker I would appreciate it. I will do it when I wake up. If I don't shut down my phone to charge up, it is about to run out of juice.I really appreciate everyone's support. Have a good night everyone. 

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Glad you are getting back on the Train right away....

Never give up giving up....

The SOS here has saved so many quits ....all we ask of newbies is .....you give us that chance to help you through the tough time your experiencing....before you go and buy smokes...

Dust yourself down Steven ....and come out fighting ....!!

 

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3 hours ago, Doreensfree said:

Glad you are getting back on the Train right away....

Never give up giving up....

The SOS here has saved so many quits ....all we ask of newbies is .....you give us that chance to help you through the tough time your experiencing....before you go and buy smokes...

Dust yourself down Steven ....and come out fighting ....!!

 

Thank you, Doreen. It means a lot.

23 minutes ago, catlover said:

Sorry to read this Steven, but glad you have got right back to quitting, I don’t have any good advice that hasn’t already been said. Just want to echo, we are here for you.

Thank you for the support, catlover.

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Hey Steven,

 You should never feel ashamed for asking for help at any time. We all need help in one way or another throughout our lifetime. I truly believe you have what it takes to be a non smoker. Getting this help from your therapist could be all you need in with conjunction with the support we on the train will always give. Stay tough Steven and remember we got your back.

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Steven, our addiction chisels away at our self esteem and tries to make us believe we are unworthy of a smoke free life.  Instead of giving in to this pattern of thinking, reach out for support.  I am glad you are getting back to quitting.  Know that you are stronger than your next crave.  You can do this!

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11 hours ago, Steven Drojensky said:

 I do not wish to continue self destructive behavior. 

 

Stopping one cycle of self-destruction builds momentum towards stopping other types of self-sabotage.

 

Quitting smoking, committing to the process and following through with it, builds newfound strength and confidence that has tremendous carryover to other aspects of your life.

 

Earlier this morning I was listening to the latest episode of "Starting Strength Radio."  One line Mark Rippetoe said that really hit home was: "if you can change your physical existence, you can change any aspect of your existence."

 

You can quit smoking Steven.  I know you can do it.  Everybody here on the Quit Train knows you can do it.  Now it's time for Steven to know he can do it and the only way to get there is to commit to the process and get it done.

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15 hours ago, Steven Drojensky said:

I need to break that cycle.

 

That's the most important thing....breaking the cycle.  I did that too.  I had several quit attempts and relapse from them.  It is torture.  You need to realize that smoking does absolutely nothing good for you.  It is all bad.   Breaking out of this cycle and quitting for good is the best thing to do.

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Run with it Steven and if you fall picked your self up and start running again.

Don't give your self time to validate the fall, just get up and run with it again.

It is hard, we all know that and the ones that win are the ones that never give up.

So focus straight ahead and pick up momentum as you go, you will succeed Steven!

 

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