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residue of feelings


forestgreen
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The other day I went to the supermarked in the parking lot, opened my car door, and there was a complete whole cigarette in front of me. What should I do! I looked at it for quite a while, a bit too long I am thinking. I was kind of overjoyed to see it. What! I said to myself is this feeling for, it was like when I was down to my last cig and then found one which filled me with such happiness that I had discovered this find. So I guess this feeling of Joy still is hanging around, lurking in corners ready to surprise me. I realized this was serious, should I pick it up, or what!  No I didn't do any of those things, just kicked it away with my foot.

 

Leaves me thinking still: Old habits die hard, but its the feelings that take a while to go away too. After all over 7 months now and it seems those residue of feelings are still around yet. I am hoping its still the Joy of discovery that is still in me, and not the yearning. 

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 @forestgreen

I just bumped this thread but, in case you miss it, have a look

Hey-you-smoked-for-42-years-why-on-earth-would-you-think-you-can-get-past-the-addiction-in a couple of months, cut yourself some slack

 

Smoking changed our DNA and the addiction is with us forever.

All we can do is put it to sleep and stand guard over our quit.

It is to be expected that associations and odd triggers will pop up, even over the course of our life.

These are never commands just reminders to hold fast to our commitment to NOPE (Not One Puff Ever)

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Sazerac
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Yea, I might have done that same thing as you forestgreen, it's normal. We smoked for a lot of years so even though seven months is awesome it's really just a drop in the bucket when compared to all those smoking years. Same with my almost 3 1/2 years. But each day we say NOPE makes us that much stronger :)

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3 hours ago, forestgreen said:

The other day I went to the supermarked in the parking lot, opened my car door, and there was a complete whole cigarette in front of me. What should I do! I looked at it for quite a while, a bit too long I am thinking. I was kind of overjoyed to see it. What! I said to myself is this feeling for, it was like when I was down to my last cig and then found one which filled me with such happiness that I had discovered this find. So I guess this feeling of Joy still is hanging around, lurking in corners ready to surprise me. I realized this was serious, should I pick it up, or what!  No I didn't do any of those things, just kicked it away with my foot. 

 

Just kicked it away and went on with the rest of your day.

 

The cigarette has as much or as little power as we give it.  A cigarette can be either the object that enslaves and eventually kills us or it can be just another bit of inanimate debris that is easily discarded.

 

A change in perception can go a long way in changing your life.

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When you educate yourself about the slavery to cigerettes.....and understand what a evil trap this addiction is 

Its easier to discard the odd cigerette we find or lighter.

You decided your quit was special and worth hanging on too.........well done ....

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Cigarette is a demon, It will enslave you for sure .

That nicotine smoke will cover your brain with only cigarette related thoughts .

 

Once you stop using it , your head will have more clarity

 

After throwing it away , you will be a better decision maker i think .

 

The cravings and conflicts keeps coming and going . But those sort of conflicts inside the head is always there for a normal human being .

 

So , throw the cigarettes away and deal with the conflicts .

 

There is always stress and strain in our everyday lives .

 

I don't think cigarettes can cure those stress and strain in anyway

 

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Thank you so much everyone, for helping me to understand my own residue of emotions,  more importantly that I am not alone in wondering what the! .....in my mind. This experience only left me wondering, but my action made me feel a whole lot better. I guess I have to watch this side of me a bit more especially now that, the hurrying in shopping and driving has started in the Pre-Christmas rush. 

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It's not true joy you were feeling. It was the inner addict's voice, shouting for you to feed it. The inner addict felt joy. Not you. It really helps me to separate that part of myself. My inner addict wants a cigarette, but I don't. And I'm stronger. I'm gonna starve that ol' inner addict to death! You will, too. It takes a lot of time for that inner addict to really go dormant. (As we all know, it never really dies. It only takes one cigarette to bring it to life again.) Each time you face a trigger and don't smoke, your inner addict withers away a bit more.


Glad you kicked that cigarette to the curb!

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Hey thanks abbynormal, I am mostly always a joyful person, so it left me wondering should I give this feeling of joy over to the gutter with the cig, or do I hang onto the joyful bit, I am trying so hard to be happy with myself and others while I kick (pun) the habit.  I guess I will be standing guard and joyfully refrain. 

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53 minutes ago, forestgreen said:

Hey thanks abbynormal, I am mostly always a joyful person, so it left me wondering should I give this feeling of joy over to the gutter with the cig, or do I hang onto the joyful bit, I am trying so hard to be happy with myself and others while I kick (pun) the habit.  I guess I will be standing guard and joyfully refrain. 

 

 

You will find true Joy in your real self, the self that is not feeding a nicotine addiction.

Nicotine gangstered our brain receptors responsible for rewards (i.e. dopamine).

One by one we claim these receptors back.

It takes a while for the endorphins and dopamine to kick in.

 

This is why rewards are SO important, and why we recommend rewards for every crave/trigger and for every celebration.

 

I propose finding something beautiful to listen to or look at or remember when you are in a crave.

It will assist your brain to trigger endorphins/dopamine for Good things, for Clean things, for appropriate things

and wean itself away from the poison that is nicotine.

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I agree about rewards, the only problem is  I used this method, by buying a cake at the supermarket, but now I am trying to loose weight, I will have to give myself something in reality, or think of something, straight away, which is hard to do when you are in the throse of remembering your previous reaction...Joyful could equal "glad that's over with" ,  buying a small item, around $3 which equals one cigarette and the price of a cake.  ??? ...I have already lost 2 kgms over 3 weeks. A bit slow but I think it will stick more for all of the time, and I ave been lucky enough to have done this before so my healthy eating is very good, except for cakes

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2 hours ago, forestgreen said:

think of something, straight away, which is hard to do when you are in the throes of remembering your previous reaction.

 

I had to fake it at first, thinking that it was ridiculous but, man, it started to work.

The point is changing your thought to something good or just looking at something beautiful...that light on that leaf or the colour of that garment...something at hand.

Pick up a favourite book, give someone a hug, put a talisman in your pocket.

 

Even faking a smile encourages endorphins...and soon the smile becomes very, very real.

 

I also put the ducats for the cost of a pack of smokes every day in a big mason jar.  The dosh added up quickly and I could take it out and count it like King Midas.

This was a huge motivator for me.

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