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What am I missing?

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Hi ya!

I've been a smoker for longer than I like to admit.  I have quit a few times in the past using different techniques all with varying lengths of success.  I have been determined to quit and free myself for good for a few months now.  I purchased Allen Carr's book EasyWay for women to quit smoking, Bootcamp, and Quit Now all on audio.  I've listened to all 3 books numerous times but I found no success.  I let a bit of time pass and last week I listened to Bootcamp again.  I got so much out of it this time....so many Ah ha moments.  I understood more, saw what he was saying, and found truth in what I was listening to.  I was so stoked to crush my final cigarette.  I was so amazed there was absolutely no withdrawal pangs.  No depression.  No anger.  I was great! I was happy!  Then out of the blue I lit a cigarette (30 some hrs of being free).  I had no cravings to do this, no triggers, no stress.  I have no idea why I did this.  I went back to listening to Bootcamp again and I have no Ah Ha moments.  I understand since I've listened to this a few times it will be anti-climatic but I can't find what I missed that made me light up again.  Why?  Has anybody had a similar situation?  Any suggestions?  I did contact EasyWay and was told to listen again in 1 sitting but never received any insight as to what I am missing to free me from this slavery. Thanks!!!

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Welcome peeper glad you came aboard.  As to Allen Carr's books there is great information though I only read part of Quit Now, I really used this site way more for education and socialization and it helped greatly.  I never did have an Ah Ha moment -- I just realized I needed to quit and made a commitment and focused one day at a time.  I also realized I had to stay vigilant those first few weeks.  It is hard but it can be done.  Coming here can help you -- take time to review the site and some of the stories -- it really will help!!!

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17 minutes ago, peeper said:

I was so stoked to crush my final cigarette.  I was so amazed there was absolutely no withdrawal pangs.  No depression.  No anger.  I was great! I was happy!  Then out of the blue I lit a cigarette (30 some hrs of being free).  I had no cravings to do this, no triggers, no stress.  I have no idea why I did this.

 

Addiction and conditioning combine to make smoking a cigarette your default setting.  On day two of a quit, it can require a deliberative mental effort to refrain from lighting up.  You were just beginning the process, it takes time and repetition before not smoking becomes your new normal.

 

All of the programs, books, and information can facilitate the process of quitting.  However, quitting smoking is and will always be a simple matter of not putting things in your mouth and setting them on fire.

 

Rule One: Don't Smoke!

Rule Two: If you have any further questions, refer back to Rule One.

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Welcome Peepers.  I never had an ah ha moment either.    I smoked for 42 years and tried everything to quit.  I was not successful until I found this forum.  I lurked for a while and even joined thinking I would never quit but something miraculous happened.  Supporters on this forum knew exactly how to guide me through my journey.  

There are some tough moments in the beginning, as you rid yourself of the nicotine, then you learn to redirect your thinking.  I set my sights on looking forward and not backwards. 

Quitting smoking is the best thing you can do for yourself.  I hope we can help you find your freedom from smoking. 

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Welcome peepers, like the others I didn't have an aha moment either but knew I needed to quit. First thing to do: THROW OUT ANY CIGARETTES!!! You can't smoke what you don't have! Also, being with others who knew what I was going through and could offer insight helps unbelievable well. Stick close, we can help you through those tough moments :) 

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Hello peeper !

Welcome to our merry band of quitters !

 

A eureka moment is not necessary to have a successful quit.

 

The only thing you are missing is making the commitment to yourself to never take another puff. 

Not One Puff Ever (moment by moment, day to day....)

 

Sure, you may have some gruesome moments but, education about nicotine addiction

will help you understand and live through them as a Free person.

 

This post may help you negotiate your way around.

10 Ways To Effectively Use This Forum

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Posted (edited)

I remember reading a piece about this exact topic,  in which the question was something like, will I be able to quit without having some motivational kickstart, a true belief of succeeding. Hmm, cant remember where that was. 

 

I was disappointed myself, when a book id read  prior to this quit, didnt do a thing for me. The realization though,  that I was externalising and not taking responsability for starting my quit, eventually led to that same start. 

 

You know your reasons. Trust in the proces, you'll probably have plenty epiphanies coming your way! 

 

Edited by MLMR
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Thanks to all for your input but I am confused....above says to check out 10 ways to use this forum effectively. I checked it out and it says to read Easyway which I have already done. Easyway talks about no withdrawal symptoms (anger / cravings / substitutes etc) yet when I read the first few days most talk about fighting cravings, it so difficult, what was used to get through the cravings etc.  This is exactly the opposite of Easyway.  I'm not sure who or what I am suppose to follow.

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I didn't read Easy Way peepers but I can tell you that mindset plays a big part in how your quit goes. My first few months were pretty hard but I also dwelled on how hard it was. Others who were just done smoking had a much easier time. I quit because my health was suffering and had to. It wasn't so much wanting to as it was being ready to, if that makes sense.

Maybe someone who's read the book will comment to your question. I don't see though how anyone gets away from cigarettes without some sort of withdrawal/recovery symptoms...

 

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Posted (edited)

There are many paths to the center.

 

The point of providing choices is;

everybody is different and will build their quit in their own unique way.

Some swear by Alan Carr,  others resonate with Joel Spitzer, 

some find guidance through other quitting methods.

 

I quit cold turkey, that is my experience but, there are many successful quitters here who found NRT's helpful.

 

There is NO one way, no right way, 

no magic bullet, except to

commit to never taking another puff, 

and

it has been my experience,

that educating myself about nicotine addiction,  especially the science of it, 

helped me understand what I was going through and empowered me to keep my quit.

 

I read Alan Carr, watched all of Joel Spitzer's videos and lurked here and there to learn everything I could.

I am still learning.

 

I just want to add that quitting smoking is a personal journey and one that will provide numerous benefits,

not only health, & wealth but an honest trust and confidence in yourself.

 

Edited by Sazerac
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^ just like with how we have a cuppa we are all different.. saddly there is no miracle cure, the only consistent thing with all former smokers is we decided to take back control in our lives ...we choose not to put something in out mouths and set it on fire.

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@peeper you lasted 30 hours without a smoke, so what did you learn? You learnt you can not smoke for a while day, and in your own words it was easy. So break it down, just quit for one day, you know you can do that...you already did...then the next morning when you wake up just quit for that day, only focus on not smoking for that day. The point is you only focus on 24 hours, one day, and you know that you can totally nail that. Don't worry about yesterday, forget about tomorrow...the only thing you can control is the now and in the now you do not smoke.

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^^^^^What Joe says -- focus on one day at a time and if need be one hour at a time.  As said by others above this is a personal journey that we have all gone thru and can be different from others.  There will be tough times and we very well may be able to help guide you on the journey but the work is up to you, again commit and focus!!!

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Sounds to me like you're missing true commitment. Commitment to not buy cigarettes, posses cigarettes and smoke cigarettes.

Books, videos and quit aid products are all well and fine but it always boils down to personal commitment to quit smoking. Without that commitment, you can not be successful!

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2 hours ago, peeper said:

Thanks to all for your input but I am confused....above says to check out 10 ways to use this forum effectively. I checked it out and it says to read Easyway which I have already done. Easyway talks about no withdrawal symptoms (anger / cravings / substitutes etc) yet when I read the first few days most talk about fighting cravings, it so difficult, what was used to get through the cravings etc.  This is exactly the opposite of Easyway.  I'm not sure who or what I am suppose to follow.

 

I read Easyway and consider it to have been a valuable tool in building the foundation for my quit.  I also had withdrawal symptoms.  There were a few occasions when I considered throwing in the towel and just lighting one up.

 

I gathered information from a variety of sources including: Allen Carr's book, Joel Spitzer's videos, and posts here at QuitTrain.  I viewed the information gathered as a guide, a calm and reassuring voice of wisdom when the voices in my head were getting loud and chaotic.  Addiction skews your perception six-ways-to-Sunday, that's why it is valuable to have voices of reason reminding you of what is actually going on rather than what you think is going on.

 

2 hours ago, jillar said:

Maybe someone who's read the book will comment to your question. I don't see though how anyone gets away from cigarettes without some sort of withdrawal/recovery symptoms...

 

There may be folks out there who were able to simply flip a switch and be done with smoking, but they are the exception rather than the rule.  Most of us had put in some time to unpack the mental and physical baggage of decades of addiction and conditioning.

 

To any of our newbies I would like to strongly suggest that you don't put added pressure on yourself when starting a quit.  I did it in past, failed, quit attempts.  I've seen people here on the Train doing it to themselves.  If you've quit smoking and realize all the ills that come with cigarettes but still want to smoke, it's understandable.  Addiction does not work from a place of reason and logic.  Eventually you will reach a point where you no longer want to smoke, but it takes time to get there.

 

Quitting smoking is strictly a pass/fail grade.  There are no style points and you're not rewarded for increased degree of difficulty.  You either quit or you don't.

 

There is only one question that matters in a quit: Did you smoke today?  If the answer to that question is "no"...you're good to go.  If the answer to that question is "yes"...you screwed it up, start over.

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Hi Peeper ,

Sounds like your over thinking...this can be dangerous ...and messes with your mind ..

Try and keep it  simple ..if it works for you ..then it works ..we are all different ...

No matter what method you use ,books video,s... ect...

You still have to do the work ...and never stick anything in your mouth and smoke it ..no matter what ..

Take smoking Off the table ...it works ...

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On 7/18/2019 at 4:13 PM, reciprocity said:

Sounds to me like you're missing true commitment. Commitment to not buy cigarettes, posses cigarettes and smoke cigarettes.

Books, videos and quit aid products are all well and fine but it always boils down to personal commitment to quit smoking. Without that commitment, you can not be successful!

It does boil down to commitment, I agree. I get where the folks who are struggling to keep a commitment. I felt as though I had two warring personalities, one that wanted to keep the commitment, the other easily overpowering it with the promise of easing the panic that something terrible was going to happen to my kids, or that I'd make a fatal mistake at work and lose my job. All that panic the result of craving nicotine, but my commitment wilted in the face of the anxiety. 

 

I can't count the times I threw away cigarettes and lighters, said, "that's it!" and hours, days, or weeks later I blithely and without a specific trigger trotted off to the store for cigarettes. I don't know what was wrong with me. There has to be motivation to state, "I'm committed," and ongoing motivation to keep that commitment. I tried vitamins, Tony Robbins, a book, "What to say when you talk to yourself," nicotine replacement, self-hypnosis/suggestion, meditation...I can't remember what else. It was all in the service of trying to stay committed. It was as though I was only reaching one aspect of my personality, with the addicted aspect unaffected.

 

When I was successful for days or weeks, I don't really know where I found the motivation to stay abstinent for those periods of time, but made it only hours other times. 

 

I agree, it does boil down to commitment. It's been staying motivated that has been lacking for me to keep that commitment. I feel committed now because the specter of encroaching blindness looms on my horizon. In the mind of a person who keeps the commitment, is there perhaps a consciously or subconsciously held picture/sounds/feelings that are more powerful than addiction?  

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Holding fast to a commitment isn't necessarily fun or sexy, motivating or inspiring.

 

It is just a minute by minute, day to day affirmation to never take another puff.

 

A certain maturity and power ensues when instant gratification takes a back seat and rewards accumulate with time.

 

This thread may be useful

NOPE ~ Never/Ever/Forever

 

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Hi Peeper,

 

What you are missing from

On 7/18/2019 at 11:22 AM, peeper said:

I  did contact EasyWay and was told to listen again in 1 sitting but never received any insight as to what I am missing to free me from this slavery. Thanks!!!

 

Most people who quit smoking do not use a forum, or study ways to quit.

 

They simply make a decision to "Never Take Another Puff", and then keep the commitment with themselves.

 

 

A big danger of studying different ways of quitting is to believe that studying is what will keep your quit.

 

It does not. 

 

What is missing from your quit, is that you have not yet made your commitment to "Never Take Another Puff".

 

It does not make any difference how many times you read Alan Carr's  or EasyWay materials or watch Joel Spitzer's videos, or use nicotine patches, nicotine gum, Chantix, accupuncture, hypnosis....

 

Without this commitment, you will always fail.

 

 

That is the answer, to your question "what I am missing to free me from this slavery".

 

 

 

Avoid "analysis-paralysis". The very tall "quit smoking" mountain you think is front of you, is a illusion. Your F.E.A.R. is actually "False.Expectations.Appearing.Real".

 

 

Keep it simple, make your commitment with yourself to never "Never Take Another Puff", and simply do not look back.

 

That is all you really need to keep your quit clean, easy to maintain, and 100% successful.

 

Forever.

 

 

Cristóbal

 

 

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Hi @peeper and welcome aboard!!! A lot of good advice has been given here already. Bottom line is, it takes a commitment to oneself not to smoke. Talking to people on QuitTrain can be helpful. However, no matter what anyone says, and irrespective of the methods (books/videos/NRT...etc.) used to quit smoking, one has to make a commitment to oneself not to smoke. It takes courage as well. You may be scared as to not knowing how you will be to handle life as an ex-smoker. You may be scared to throw out all your smoking paraphernalia. You may be scared not knowing how you will carry out your day to day routine without smoking. Although easier said than done, take quitting smoking in your stride and work through it an hour and a day at a time. Keep yourself busy with activities. Drink plenty of juice and water during the first 3 days. Take the NOPE pledge on the forum, it helps. When I do get a crave, I admit to myself I need a smoke, but I also say to myself that I'm not going to submit to it. Personally, I never read any books w.r.t quitting smoking, I just watched Joel's videos and talked to people on QuitTrain. I also take the NOPE pledge everyday. I also stuck as many post-its I could that say "Never Take Another Puff" all over my room, and the post-its still remain to this day. Its like a reminder for the commitment I made to myself not to smoke. You can also watch Joel's videos on his YouTube channel, working through them a day at a time as organized in playlists. Here's the link:

 

https://www.youtube.com/user/joelspitz

 

Here's a video that may be of some help to you:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTb3d5cjSFI

 

All the best!!!

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