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del

I have relapsed

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I had quit for over a month but today I’ve already had 2 cigarettes and it’s only 1pm. And I had two the other day. I feel so stressed and have no coping strategies and I just have 0 support from anyone in my life.... and I NEED support. I feel like I’m trying to give up heroin or another drug that is on that level... It’s like I can’t find happiness anywhere unless I’ve had a cigarette. For the last month I feel like I’ve just traded cigs for food and have gotten so fat and this morning I looked at myself in the mirror and just snapped... went outside and rolled a smoke. Now my throat hurts and I feel pretty rubbish about myself but I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO at this point. Every time I get even the slightest bit upset or emotional my family start yelling at me!! I’m not allowed to feel emotions so I have to numb them somehow. It’s all so rubbish. 

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Del, never smokers will never understand how nicotine addiction works or how hard it is for a lot of us to successfully quit. You will get that support here though. We understand what you're going through. We will lift you up when you're down and celebrate with you on your milestones. 

I didn't have a lot of support either. Everyone pretty much thought after a month I should be over it. But the forum was there for me. I stayed glued to the board everyday. I found the support I needed and also found that supporting, celebrating and socializing with others really helped keep my mind off my own misery. You can do it, I promise.

Oh and don't worry so much about the weight right now. One thing at a time, the weight can come off later.

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You are giving smoking power over your life.  It is an addiction, plain and simple. It only makes you happy because it relieves the withdrawal symptoms for a few minutes.  It is like giving up heroin...again, it is an addiction You do know what to do at this point...do not smoke.  I do not mean to be harsh...but please read all the great advice you received two days ago...

 

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1 hour ago, del said:

It’s like I can’t find happiness anywhere unless I’ve had a cigarette. 

 

1 hour ago, del said:

 went outside and rolled a smoke. Now my throat hurts and I feel pretty rubbish about myself 

 

Do you see the problem here Del?

 

Your expectations of smoking are in direct contradiction to the realities of smoking.  You're holding on to some vague idea of smoking leading to "finding happiness."  Yet you smoked and all it led to was a sore throat and some negative thoughts.  It's time to stop treating cigarettes like they are some kind of magic elixir and start seeing them for what they really are.

 

This is a vital part of the process, breaking down the myths and lies of addiction and recognizing smoking for what it really is.  We all lied to ourselves when we smoked.  Cognitive dissonance is as much a part of addiction as is the drug of choice.  As you educate yourself about nicotine addiction, you quickly begin to see the absurdity of continuing to smoke.  As you begin to recognize the absurdity of smoking, not smoking becomes much easier.

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Tough day Del. Good advice above. Pick yourself up, and dust yourself off. This quitting thing is a process. You can do it and you will do it. Keep on keeping on.

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So you threw away your quit... what now? Start again, don't wait, get back on the train and go again.

 

Your biggest hurdle to giving up is yourself. You have to believe you can, and you have to accept it gets better... see I remember early on thinking yeah this will never end, this will never get better... but it does, a little bit each day until one day you say to yourself, haven't felt like a smoke since... um... shit, I dunno when.... i have only been smoke free for a little over a year and mate I promise you that's me. This isn't my first go at being smoke free, but this is the final time I will ever quit.. and I do it one day at a time.... my daily promise that I will not smoke today... that's all I worry about just one day... Don't care what happened yesterday, just worry about today. I know I can go a whole day without smoking I have done it for a whole lot all in a row.... you know you can go a whole day without smoking.... so just do that... don't smoke for the next 24 hours... just worry about those, then tomorrow repeat.

Edited by notsmokinjo
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Hi Del ,

You have already been given some sound advice ...you need to take your seat on the train...fasten up 

Those who succeed..come here often ..I spent 24/7 here at the beginning of my quit ...

You need to read everything ...and watch all the videos..... Education and knowledge is what you fight the beast with ...

Come and take our daily pledge ..it's a powerful tool ..

Quitting is a journey ....and it starts with Never Stick Anything In Your Mouth And Set Fire To It .....No matter what is going on ...

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On 2/19/2019 at 9:15 PM, del said:

 I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO at this point.  

 

 

Sarge would strongly suggest you quit making excuses and stop smoking ... but what does he know?

EZPZ

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So, there you have it Del. All the realities about smoking but is that really what you wanted to hear?  Plain fact is YOU can quit just as all of us have but you have to want to quit MORE than you want to smoke. It will take time to retrain your brain to function normally without smoking but it does happen for all of us given enough time not smoking. That's the process you too need to follow. No Smoking while that adjustment happens for you so, what will it be Del? It's completely up to you now. One thing I can assure you is you will get all the support you will need here should you continue to participate here on a regular basis. No one understands quitting like quitters. We do get it!

Edited by reciprocity
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In this video, the guy mentions how each time you quit, you get a little better at it.

If that is the case, some folks are Olympic Gold Metalists at quitting.

 

On 2/20/2019 at 3:27 AM, notsmokinjo said:

So you threw away your quit... what now? Start again, don't wait, get back on the train and go again.

On 2/20/2019 at 11:10 PM, sgt.barney said:

Sarge would strongly suggest you quit making excuses and stop smoking ... but what does he know?
EZPZ

 

 

BUT, BUT, BUT, SARGE!

That would make too much sense!

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3 hours ago, Jet Black said:

In this video, the guy mentions how each time you quit, you get a little better at it.

If that is the case, some folks are Olympic Gold Metalists at quitting.

 

 

 

BUT, BUT, BUT, SARGE!

That would make too much sense!

 

It's better to keep trying than give up altogether. 

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I'm seeing some really awesome advice here....and some tough love. Girl. I will tell you right now......I've been quit for 6 months and it would be so easy to go to the store and buy some cigs. A whole damn carton. They would still taste good to me and I would probably smoke 2 packs.....so I get it. I understand you. I don't have much support either. I live with a husband who smokes a lot. We have got to be super strong. Stay very busy. Sometimes I get so tired of staying busy because I used to enjoy my downtime with a smoke. But I understand that is how it is now. My brain has got to learn how to find happiness and satisfaction without smoking. It's takes some of us longer than others. Having a strong support system really does help. I know you can do it. I can't imagine anyone having a harder time than I do. I fight it every day. I want one rt this moment.  But I'm not going to do it. I've got to give it a year. And , oh yeah, I've put on 17 lbs. I know all about the weight gain! I find that prayer helps me. I will pray for you too. Good luck! !!

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You're doing great @Solo, be proud of yourself! I have so much respect for you quitters who still have a smoking spouse. It's really a testament to your strong will :)  And maybe your husband will see that quitting is possible and quit too :) 

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Congratulations on your nearly six months of freedom, Solo !

Continue to reward yourself, nurture your quit and protect it with your life.

You can believe us when we say, 'it gets better'.  It gets better and better and better.

 

I gave my quit a year, too.  I thought, if I am not feeling better/free-er/different,  I can always go back to smoking.

That was almost six years ago !

I couldn't imagine going through that first year again and so grateful I powered through.

The residuals of freedom are astounding...the self-confidence, the trust in ourselves...the benefits multiply exponentially. 

So, hang in there.  Stay vigilant.

With the skills you are learning from quitting, 

you will be able to apply them to other issues like weight etc.

 

It is good to hear from you, Solo.

 

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Hello and welcome ...I congrat you too in your fabulous quit....

Maybe hang around here good a while ...we will support you all the way ....

We all just take it Day by Day here.....

I'm sure you will have alot to offer the newbies ....

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I'm glad you have stayed true to your self commitment to quit Solo. That's huge! For me I think it was around the 7th month mark when I just knew I would make it. There was noting specific but just a mental feeling that I would not smoke again because for whatever reason, I just knew smoking gave me nothing. Don't misunderstand me - I loved smoking. Especially that down time you spoke of. Just me and a cigarette. Now I see that as me just avoiding life and life's issues. Now, I just meet them head on, like it or not but I can tell you for sure, I don't miss it one bit. 

Take some time over the next 6 months to think about what it really is you miss about smoking and at the same time, think about the benefits you now enjoy (there should be lots). Mulling those two things over from time to time should help clarify which lifestyle is more precious to you.

Glad to see you back here. If it's support you're looking for ..... this is the place!

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You guys are awesome.  I came so close to giving up today. Thank you for your encouraging words. Another day behind me. Praying for the day that I understand what it means to be free from nicotine. Hope you all had a great 4th. Stay strong!

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I'm so glad you didn't give up today @Solo. You would have been so bummed to give up all those smoke free days. Might I suggest making a ticker for your signature? It was a huge inspiration for me to log on everyday and see just how much time, money and cigs not smoked add up. And also showed me what I was giving up if i caved to a crave :)

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Thanks for the suggestion.  How do I find a "ticker"? 

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There's a tab at the top of the page that says tickers. 

5 minutes ago, Solo said:

Thanks for the suggestion.  How do I find a "ticker"? 

 

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Tickers

 

Your first year may have triggers/craves that you may not expect so,  be aware.

These, usually, are not of the same magnitude as the early days but, can still pack a punch.

There are seasonal triggers, when your body has a memory of smoking and can trigger a crave.

All you need to do is stick to your commitment to NOPE.

Soon, all this will be a memory and you will continue to reap the benefits of quitting.

Stay focused and continue your education about nicotine addiction.  The more you know, the stronger your resolve.

 

 

 

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