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Redemption3

I want to restart again , because i had to smoke one day !!!

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13 hours ago, Linda Thomas said:

Excuse me Mr EZPZ Barney but not all of us has it as EZPZ as you and since I am still feeling under the weather, I kind of resent your inference that my pledge is bullshit and a lie (otherwise, I might be able to ignore you)

Maybe what is good for you is not always the same as it is for someone else.  The pledge was a strong help to me during my quit.

My goal is to always help others achieve, what I once felt impossible and found difficult to do.   

 

Good for you Linda!  I agree 100%. We are all different and I admire your fortitude and determination!! 

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12 hours ago, Linda Thomas said:

Nice try Bakon but Sgt quoted me and used the words bullshit and a lie to describe the pledge.  I am a tad bit offended.

 

 

If a pledge were worth a shit, no one on this forum (or any other) taking said pledge would smoke. 

The evidence is in. Decades worth. 

Sarge reiterates: A pledge is bullshit, and to think otherwise is folly. 

There is one-and-only one thing that matters and we all know what it is. 

Neither The Sarge, nor The Addiction give a rat's ass who is offended. 

 

 

EZPZ

Edited by sgt.barney
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I have tried hundreds of times to quit and the only thing that has worked so far is this forum. I check it every day. I also try to nope pledge  everyday. The nope pledge might be symbolic but it is a ritual that I find very useful. Rituals are not fantasy and forming new habits to replace smoking is key. I feel like rituals, habits, pledges all are part of "process", the process of not smoking.

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Redemption 3,

 

You say that you want to restart smoking, but I'd like you to look a bit deeper.

 

You want to quit smoking.  If you didn't, you would never had quit to begin with.

 

It's actually the addiction that wants you to restart.  

 

The longer you abstain from smoking the more removed the addiction will be from your person.

 

Never think for a moment that you want to smoke.   

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Sgt. Barney,

 

I gather from the fecal matter present in your posts that you have nothing but contempt 

for verbalized commitments.  

 

I did quit and I did, on occasion, pledge. 

 

It can help us conceptualize what we want (or don't want)

and help to renew our commitment by making it a daily,

verbalized, focus of attention.

 

By making the pledge in public we magnify the commitment as we incur social expectations

and well wishes ...or disappointment.

 

A pledge is just another tool in our arsenal.  

 

I confess that I am morbidly curious how you might value the concept of prayer in terms of 

its usefulness in defeating addiction as, while very similar,  a prayer is an externalized plea

wherein a pledge tends to be more of a internalized affirmation.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

Edited by Sirius
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I think sgt.barney might just be saying a pledge is not enough to stop someone from smoking.

 

I'm pretty sure if you went back through every pledge thread from when this forum started you would find a lot of people who still relapsed. Everyone who gets married takes a pledge to be with that person forever but look at how many end up in divorce. 

 

I'm certainly not saying the pledge is useless because it clearly helps a lot of people. The truth is though that despite what tools we use none of them can stop us smoking. The only thing that stops us smoking is us. 

 

My humble opinion - don't let pledges, NRT, forums or anything else take any credit. The one thing actually keeping a quit is YOU.

 

 

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Support comes in all shapes and sizes here...

Some is very fluffy..hitting you with a feather duster....there there....stop it ....don't smoke ...

Some use patience...keep on and on and on and on .....telling you smoking is bad for you ...please please stop....

I tend to whack you with a frying pan...if you keep wanting to smoke after you have  quit ...

And some come in wearing boxing gloves... Fighting ...straight talking ....

It's what makes this place work ...

This is your quit !!!!.....no one else's....it's your life your fighting for ....do whatever you need to ,

Never stick anything in your mouth and smoke it ....NOPE !!!

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Personally...pledging helped me keep my quit.... because if I publicly declared it then I felt that I needed to keep my word not to myself but to others.... BUT that's me... My very dear quit buddy Weegie didn't/doesn't NOPE but she is just as successful as i, she didn't need it and I think that is just fine and dandy and she never told me I was wrong or delusional for needing to NOPE never implied it made me a weaker person or a subpar quitter but because she was my mate she supported my need to nope.. just as I supported her need not to NOPE.... me mate Saz.. she quit cold turkey... and me I used NRT for 9 weeks... but hey both of us have kept our quit, neither of us did it the wrong way or a bullshit way... we did it the way that worked for us...and you know what I don't judge those that use methods different to the way that worked for me and I don't disparage those different methods... because why put someone else off or belittle something they find beneficial just because you didn't, let them take the steps they need to get to the end goal without shitting all over them.

 

Recently I have felt a degree of negativity creeping in here and that anything that deviates from an easy, cold turkey quit is sub par. Its no one person in particular, but its like there is becoming a divide between how one should or should not quit and that is bullshit. You know how one should quit??... whatever bloody way works for them!!. It's kind of off putting and I'm comfy with my quit. I thought the QT was a community to support others in their quit process not to put down anyone who deviates from what worked for you or to belittle and mock what works for another. Or cast doubt on another's approach. Everyone needs to step back, take a deep breath, and chill..... but please don't suggest we sing Kumbaya.

 

Everyone here has something of value to add, lets respect each other enough to let them say it. Sure we can disagree but we can disagree without mocking or insulting the alternate opinion... who can throw the biggest insult has nothing to do with winning an argument and just makes your opinion seem tacky and loose value. See the way I see it we all have a right to our opinions and unless someone is on here saying the only way to successfully quit is to sacrafice a kitten at dawn each day... is it really any skin off your nose if the advice they offer doesn't match your experience. Sure, share that you disagree, hell I'll argue for your right to disagree, we need diversity, but don't throw the baby out with the bathwater just cos it didn't work for you.

 

Now just saying... only 2 months ago anyone had of told our @Linda Thomas her NOPE pledge was bullshit and meant nothing she would have slinked away and probably never come back, possibly had a smoke or 10 too, but our girl done gone and growed herself a big set of hairy quit balls (kinda proud down here in Aus).... so sure, disagree with each other, the varied opinions and approaches are what make the QT work but please do so and still respect the other person's right to have an opinion that is different and not mock, insult or belittle them. Sure there are failed quitters who NOPEd every day... but there are also quitters in there who have been NOPEing for 3 years or more so sweeping generalisations that it means nothing and is pointless are just that..... pointless. Cbdave and Johnny5 NOPE every day... along with a cast of others... who are all successful at being quit... there is some evidence that for some it does work... for some it is a necessary ritual and lets rejoice at the difference ... how boring would life be if we all were the same.

 

 

Now as someone else liked to say "let's get this thread back on track"... this comments for @Redemption3 .... hope you are still quit.... No issue with wanting to start again... because lots of us have had more than one quit start... but mate, lets get serious here, lets put our big boy (and girl) pants on and have a good hard look at things... you can start again, and again, and again... keep starting when you fail because one day it will stick... but you need to learn from the failed quits... you need to own the fact you are an addict and Potts mate, you need to be honest with yourself... this is not your third quit... not since you joined the boards at least... you have had multiple quits, know how I know, because I have been here for all of them... its not just 2.. I am pointing this out because you need to be honest with yourself to be successful at quitting. Your 2 best quits have been 6 days and 24 days... but there have been many other 3-4 day quits in there since you joined. You can quit... for good, for ever, but you have to be strong enough to not smoke. You don't loose a quit, you throw it away... we can't do this for you mate, none of us have the miracle cure, we all went about it different ways... some of us read everything we could, some of us played all the games.... some of us posted silly pictures of cats and made bad jokes... some of us swapped recipes and exercise tips... some of us used NRT... some of us relapsed again, and again...some of us pledged... but all of us did not put something in our mouth and did not set it on fire. For some of us it is as easy as saying I don't smoke anymore and they are done, the evidence is in, some people are just that fortunate to have that much willpower.... then others of us battle every day to fight the urge to smoke, getting stronger everyday.... and then others fall somewhere in the middle... What I do know is you want to quit, you wouldn't keep going through those first 3 days if you didn't... you wouldn't keep posting here, copping criticism if you didn't really want to quit... I suspect there is a degree that your posts get twisted with meanings due to English not being your first language... but I wasn't going to post here for 2 reasons... 1 "I had to smoke"... you didn't have to smoke, you wanted to smoke... lets be honest buddy... you did not have to smoke, you life did not depend on it, nooone held a gun to your head, stuck a smoke in your mouth and told you to smoke... you chose to smoke... where was the sos??? where was the hey QT I am day 24 but a want to smoke .... nope you smoked, and then you came back and said I want to start again.... of course you want to quit again... there is no benefit to smoking... being smoke free is wonderful (after you get past the worst of the craves, and thoughts)....and 2 because you need to be honest with yourself and accept you are an addict.. which I don't think you do.... Just do one thing for me... let me know what you learnt from the last time you lost your quit... use those lessons to grow this quit into your forever quit.

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Great post Jo! Well put.

This is a place of support for anyone and everyone who truly wants to quit, no matter what their methods. 

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I've been here for over five years ....this is the first time of my knowledge that the NOP E thread ,has ever come to be questioned ....

It's here for a reason....

It a daily pledge you won't smoke that day ...a promise to yourself ....

Yes OK...some have pledged and then later smoked ...thier choice to break a promise ...but the help and support it gives to the those that  keep their promise is as  I have said before .

Very powerful...

No one here should be made to feel uncomfortable in Pledging ...it's a choice ....

I just want to add...I love watching those pledges ,some are very funny ...and clever...

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Let's not get caught up in majoring in the minors.

 

If the pledge works for you, do it.

 

If the pledge is something that you don't care about, forget it.

 

The only compulsory rule for a successful quit is this: Do Not Smoke!

 

"The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing." --Stephen R. Covey

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The NOPE pledge worked for me because I would never break a pledge to myself.  Once it was done each morning, I knew I had to make it through that day.  Then I got to choose again the next day.

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10 hours ago, Boo said:

 

 

"The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing." --Stephen R. Covey

 

Perfect !!!!

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Quitting smoking isn't forever. It's just this moment, this hour, just today.

As long as you stay present-focused, and you're saying, "not today," you'll achieve your goal.

 

For me, when it's night and it's dark, my willpower wanes and I crave more intensely.  

When I'm asleep, I don't crave, so I go to bed early. As early as 5:30 or 6:00 pm on occasion.

When I wake up, I am stronger and still present-focused: "Not this moment, not this hour, not today."

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