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christine 12

why do I feel like a failure?

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6 minutes ago, jillar said:

Another clue that I used for at least the first three or four months was my air cigarette, which we call JAC (jillars air cigarette). I just would pretend I was holding a cigarette in my fingers and then go through the motions of "smoking" it. It worked so good at tricking my mind into thinking it was having a real one. I didn't care if I looked like an idiot doing it because it worked for me. So maybe try it? 

I will try it.

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Hey that ticker looks good on you :)

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Christine, I like that you are sticking with us and fighting hard! It is this kind of resolve and determination that will carry you through.

 

This is a good sign. Smoking will do nothing good for you!

 

Quitting will open up so many more possibilities! Keep thinking about what positives you will get out of this, make your own list, find your own reasons.

 

 

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@christine 12 , just wondering how many smoke free days you've had since 2nd Jan? Have you added them up or can you give us an estimate?

 

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Hey @christine 12 I noticed in another thread you are also trying to give up coffee. Can I just say, as both a coffee/caffine and a nicotine junky I can't do both. If you have only just started the coffee detox as well could you pop it on the back burner for a few weeks until the nicotine withdrawal is at a better place, because both have pretty full on physical detox, and both have a huge psychological impact. A few months ago I had to go coffee free for 14 hours for a medical test and i went mental... total and complete break down... rocking on the floor like a numpty.... and i knew i could have a coffee in the morning after the blood test... it was insane. Everyone here had to rally to keep me on my quit. I know I couldn't do both at the same time. Is it just coffee you are giving up or caffine, if its just coffee are you drinking tea? because that could be a good reward when you are looking for one.

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1 hour ago, Sslip said:

@christine 12 , just wondering how many smoke free days you've had since 2nd Jan? Have you added them up or can you give us an estimate?

 

about 15 to 20 maybe? not more than 5 days in a row

10 minutes ago, notsmokinjo said:

Hey @christine 12 I noticed in another thread you are also trying to give up coffee. Can I just say, as both a coffee/caffine and a nicotine junky I can't do both. If you have only just started the coffee detox as well could you pop it on the back burner for a few weeks until the nicotine withdrawal is at a better place, because both have pretty full on physical detox, and both have a huge psychological impact. A few months ago I had to go coffee free for 14 hours for a medical test and i went mental... total and complete break down... rocking on the floor like a numpty.... and i knew i could have a coffee in the morning after the blood test... it was insane. Everyone here had to rally to keep me on my quit. I know I couldn't do both at the same time. Is it just coffee you are giving up or caffine, if its just coffee are you drinking tea? because that could be a good reward when you are looking for one.

I failed on the coffee thing, I will just do smoking for now ooops

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15 to 20 is fantastic. Just think about that for a moment, that's 15 to 20 days you've not had a smoke.

 

If you could string those days together (and it is possible to string those days together) then you would be a huge way to breaking the back of this.

 

You can do it! I have seen many people here do a few days and they give up and walk away. The fact you are coming at this again and again. That tenacity can get you there!

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Yes Christine, I agree just deal with one thing at a time. You're doing great and we're here for you :)

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10 minutes ago, christine 12 said:

I failed on the coffee thing, I will just do smoking for now ooops

 

Ok so lets put a nice positive spin on this... from one junky to another, no negative nancy talk... find the positives and focus on them... repeat after me: "I did not fail at the coffee quit, I realised the the physical, psychological and emotional stress associated with quitting two highly addictive substances at the same time was unhealthy. I chose to focus my energies on fighting the nicotine addiction as the priority. This has the greater negative impact on me. I was smart enough to get my priorities right. AND when i've nailed the nicob1tch's arse to the wall I will deal with the coffee c8ckhead, but until then it can wait".... that's what happened, you didn't fail you made a smart adjustment to you actions to best benefit your quit... what a winner.

Edited by notsmokinjo
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Just now, notsmokinjo said:

 

Ok so lets put a nice positive spin on this... from one junky to another.... I didn not fail at the coffee quit, I realised the the physical, psychological and emotional stress associated with quitting two highly addictive substances at the same time was unhealthy. I chose to focus my energies on fighting the nicotine addiction as the priority. This has the greater negative impact on me. I was smart enough to get my priorities right. AND when i've nailed the nicob1tch's arse to the wall I will deal with the coffee c8ckhead, but until then it can wait".... that's what happened, you didn't fail you made a smart adjustment to you actions to best benefit your quit... what a winner.

Thanks

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12 minutes ago, christine 12 said:

I failed on the coffee thing, I will just do smoking for now ooops

 

Move the big rocks first.  Quitting smoking is the single most important thing you can do for your health right now.  That is where your focus needs to be.

 

As for the question: why do I feel like a failure?  That is negative self-talk creeping in, you are telling yourself the wrong story.  Give yourself some credit.  You've already gone two-days without a cigarette.  That means you can do one more.  And that's all you have to do...one more.  Take care of the right now and deal with tomorrow when it gets here.

 

You've received a lot of great advice already from people who were in the same exact position as you are right now.  If you were able to travel back in time and ask most of us during the early days of the quit if we were going to be successful long-term quitters...most of us had moments of doubt and hesitation.  Most of us had moments where throwing in the towel seemed like an option.  We persisted and you can too.

 

Your addicted mind may be sowing the seeds of doubt with this talk of failure, but success is never more than a choice away.  You have that choice, the power is yours.

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Boo's post just came in while I was writing, he is always right to the point and correct.

 

Hello Christine,

Congratulations on your quit. 

You just made one of the best decisions in your life.

You are not a failure.

You are a hero to yourself.

You must realize this. 

You have made the decision to quit smoking. 

The deal is done, you are a hero.

 

The addiction will woo, stomp and shout, scream and holler and trying to coerce you into feeding it nicotine again.

Please be very clear, this is the addiction speaking. 

This is not you.  You are a hero.  You are not your addiction.

Addiction is not your voice anymore.  

Your voice NOW is the voice of real power. 

You don't smoke anymore, why would you ?

 

You will undoubtedly hit some bumps in the road, we all have.

They serve to strengthen our resolve.  

Study, Cristine, study and learn all you can about nicotine addiction.

This will add to your strength.

 

Hang close to the board.  We are always around to point you in a good direction and distract you too, if that is what you need.

 

Reward yourself, protect your quit and get ready to become really powerful. 

This is a great time for you and one you will never regret.

Welcome, Christine.  Your quit looks really good on you.

s

 

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It's not unusual to feel out of sorts.  Your brain has to rewire itself as it comes to terms with no more nicotine.

 

Changes to your brain can cause you to doubt your sanity, reality, decisions, resolve, perceptions, and so it goes.

 

You've got the tiger by the tail. 

 

You are the mongoose on the cobra.

 

Don't let go.

 

Not one puff ever.

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Hi Christine, well done on quitting and hope you're doing okay. Reading about addiction does help make sense of some of your thought processes and i think is the key to staying quit. Keep taking it day by day.

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I hope you're doing okay, Christine! I struggle with my partner smoking sometimes too but I keep telling myself that it has to start somewhere, and if I stop, it only increases their chances of stopping as well. 

 

I learned recently that being a nag and trying to explain why they shouldn't smoke it counter-productive....he's got to find his own reasons - reasons that are important enough for him to stop sneaking out. 

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