transcript of a smoker's rights activist leader...

[JB 883]

*Ms. Smith does not exist. Just something i thought up. Or if she did, she probably died of lung cancer.

 

Host - Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Ms. Smith who will be giving a speech about smoker's rights.

 

(applauding and coughing from audience)

 

Ms. Smith -

Thank you. So first i would like to say (COOOUUUUGH cough cough choke cackle hack!)

And also (COUGHCOUGHCOUGH choke hack cackle hackhackhack hawk)

Excuse me I just (HHAAAAAAACK! WHEEZE Gargle cough ) need another cigarette (coughcough hack choke crack wheeze coughcough)...

 

So anyways, I do not know about you all but i certainly feel enlightened. I learned something.

You know, my last few months of smoking i sounded like this when trying to laugh or whatever.

 

I learned to put down the stupid ass cigarettes that were preventing me from expressing my favorite emotional reaction - laughter.

 

You know, even if putting down the cancer sticks do NOT have these benefits -

Save us money, make us smell better, relieve us from having to hear dumb lectures, keep us from having to go to the smoker section,  decrease chances of lung cancer, preserve our clothing by not burning holes in it...

 

There is that whole thing even this board forgets about - We don't cough and choke like an obnoxious ass. I can scream with laughter again and not cough.

Coughing is what non-smokers do to mock smokers. Who among us wants to be mocked?

 

On another note - Sunday morning I went out walking while listening to my horrid 80's pop songs. I was about 1/2 a block from a church and some guy was out standing by his car smoking. I could smell it. Holy crap, I mean 1/2 a block away!

 

My main feeling towards tobacco and smoking is this - pure hatred. I do not hate smokers but just the habit. It smells, it pisses me off. I laugh when I imagine the nicodemon starving and begging for nicotine. I smell someone smoking and it is like, "cut it out!" Gotta have that stupid precious cigarette don't they? Might not die soon enough as it is. Smoke ANOTHER cancer stick. Yep, what's one more nail in the coffin? It won't stink THAT bad.

Eh hem. So yeah, I hate tobacco.

 

but anyways, what did you take from Ms. Smith's speech?

[TravellingSunny]

Totally agree.  I don't miss that little chest-clearing cough that signaled to everyone in the meeting room who the smokers were.

 

It also makes me sad when I hear this cough out of my loved ones who still smoke.  I wanna just grab them by the ears and shake them and scream that they should stop - they CAN stop.  But, just like me, nothing will make them want to quit unless THEY want to.