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Weird - no pattern to it sometimes


Giveintowin
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Hi everyone. I really try to avoid coming to the board and complaining these days. I mean I’m through the worst of my quit. The horrible hell, heck and WTF weeks are long gone, as is the fabled no persons land. Most days are fine now and I rarely think about smoking, but I have to say SOMETIMES, that’s right at random times, I have a hell, heck, WTF moment and can only describe it like an intrusive thought of really wanting to smoke. I do of course talk myself out of it but this can be tiring at times and annoying. Don’t get me wrong I am grateful since it’s not as bad as the first weeks but I have to say I’m waiting for the day when I NEVER want to smoke!

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Hi G,

Please don't avoid coming here to complain,

your experience may help someone else.

Sometimes, nobody is complaining and someone is suffering

when an honest post like yours could make a big difference.

 

Congratulations on your quit !

You are only five months into your Freedom, please cut yourself some slack.

 

I, too, was annoyed by smokey thoughts still taking me by surprise when I was well into my quit.

'Is this ever going to end ?', I wondered

and yearned for a time, a date when it would be done. 

 

I celebrate 5 years quit in the Autumn

and...well... to tell you the truth.....even after all this time,

I  still get minuscule tugs from my nicotine addiction.

It is not in my daily consciousness but, the thing is, addiction never goes away.

 

You can put the addiction to rest and hardly ever know it is there

but, I had to accept that once in a while, smokey thoughts will surface.

They are easily dismissed  and more and more powerless and infrequent.

 

Now, they merely serve as a reminder to never take another puff EVER,

and that's kinda good.  I'd hate to find myself feeding my addiction again.

 

Vigilantly yours,

S

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Sazerac
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Hi givein, sorry about your bad day but it is normal and totally to be expected. Sazerac said it best, remember we smoked for a lot of years so it's not going to magically disappear in x amount of months. I'm hoping your tomorrow is better :)

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GITW, it's really good to hear honest posts like this. Every quit is individual, but I'm certain that there are many other people that relate to your experiences and will be relieved they are not alone. You're doing great.

 

Sazerac, your words of wisdom and experience are always great to hear. Thank you.

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gitw-- that's why this forum exists,  to help people quit & stay quit.  Always come here first! You did the right thing.  Those days will pop up out of the blue and smack you in the face.   I still get a smack every now & again.  That's all it is.  A bad day, a great day, a rainy day, a crisp sunny day - all may trigger memories our smoking past.  That's all. Memories of a previous life.  How we used to deal with life's challenges & celebrations.  We still have to deal with the good & bad. That doesn't change. Our breathing  does & for the better! 

Edited by Lust4Life
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Sucks doesn't it Givvy. Its really frucking annoying you have days where you dont even think about smokes or smoking and then bam stupid craving... They're not even real cravings like the real early days.... You doing so well keep it up and lead the way.

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@Giveintowin, the truth is for a long time we will probably battle it. Life throws hard times/ hardships at us and sometimes the mind "thinks" about old habits. Remember and never forget that we are addicts and that we make a choice and the choice is not to reach for them anymore. I use a straw so does jillar and many others for a crutch and it helps. Long time ago i thought nothing would break me yada yada and something did, 2 1/2 years gone. Dont make that mistake and smoking does nothing for us really, its just a "jedi" mind trick

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Oh Giveintown, I do understand.  Sometimes days go by with 0 thoughts of having a smoke; then today for example, triggers like doing food prep for hosting an Easter brunch.  Throughout the day, it was “time for a break; time to go outside & have a smoke; time to think about what else could be prepared ahead of time; time to go out & have a smoke; time to think about the where & what of serving/placing items out; oh & now time again for a smoke while I figure all this stuff out.”  All day long - I had to remind myself that I no longer smoke on my “breaks”.    Bottom line is that I am really proud of the fact that I continue to choose not to smoke.  But old habits disappear very slowly.  Keep posting & sharing.  We get it. 

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Trust me your not feeling anything different from most of us. I also have the same thing it hit me about a month before my first year a lasted quite sometime. I will not not give a time from because everyone is different, just accept it and keep moving forward it will get better as mine have. It's all part of the addiction and time for your nervous system and brain to heal. 

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15 hours ago, Giveintowin said:

Most days are fine now and I rarely think about smoking, but I have to say SOMETIMES, that’s right at random times, I have a hell, heck, WTF moment and can only describe it like an intrusive thought of really wanting to smoke. I do of course talk myself out of it but this can be tiring at times and annoying.

 

The whole time we were smoking, we were not only feeding an addiction but also conditioning ourselves with cigarettes.  As soon as we quit, the reconditioning begins.  New habits are formed.  New neural pathways are created.

 

It takes a little time, but eventually being a nonsmoker becomes our new normal.  The process can be a winding path with some blindspots, switchbacks, and a couple of potholes along the way, but it gets you to exactly where you need to be.

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Sazerac and Boo said it very well. I also found it annoying when the thoughts you describe as 'intrusive' would rise up, out of the blue sometimes. That's one of the reasons we have to always be on our guard. There are also the predictable triggers. It's good to vent and get your feelings out there. You are helping all those people who, for whatever reason, don't sign up or post about what they are going through.

 

The best consolation I found was to remember that I didn't want to smoke but wanted relief from not having nicotine anymore, and, secondly, that the only way out of the addiction is to go through the process, and, thirdly, each day on average it will get easier after the first week or two. it's a marathon, not a sprint. Hang in there, GITW, we are all rooting for you.

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