Kris

@jillar I know that you would have quit if you had known you were in trouble.  It is a great thing that insurance will now cover chest cat scan as part of a yearly physically. I would not have quit without that test.  

Some how we have got to make sure the younger members of not just the board but society realize that their health is gong to suffer if they continue to smoke.  The sooner they quit it will be easier to do and may prevent issues with their health when they get older.  Most of us knew that smoking could lead to health issues but we continued to do it, not to listen.  Now many of us face things that we made possible. There is no one to blame, we put those things in our mouths and set them on fire, inhaled the fumes like liquid gold.  Are any of us richer by making that decision. No, we are facing the fact we let some money hungry corporations take not only our money but our health. We can not change it now but we can try to help the generations that come after us.  It is happening but too slowly. Now they have decided a new way to get rich off the younger generations, vaping.  It is just another way to promote addiction to fill the corporate pockets. Another way to destroy the health and lives of our young people. They want us to think that it is a safe way to smoke.  No, I have not done all the research, just coming from an old time nicotine addict who has finally seen the light. 

I will be thankful that when I have run errands I will not have to open the car window to let the smoke out. I will really enjoy keeping the air condition on full blast.  I will arrive at my destination sweat and smoke smell free. I will finally get to be one of "those people"  when asked, may I smoke? I can say "yes you may if you enjoy a good walk".

Holy crap!

Thank you to all of you. I must admit I might look funny volunteering at the senior center as I am one. I have been meaning to join just to spend time with others.  I know it would be a great social place to meet others and not feel so alone.  I do know I need therapy to get in a better state of mind.  It is not healthy to be alone and fearful all the time.

Here I go again, been really strugglng with the panic attacks.  I hope it is just the holiay season and that we are all subject to the Covid panic and the fact that for now we should not be out and about.  I have realized tonight that is not the only problem, the fact that I have quit smoking is not the problem.  The problem is me again.  I am tired of fighting it, that I have lost my husband,  My Mom got so sick I could not care for here and keep her safe. My son, his fiance and her son were living here for 3  1/2 years, but they have married have their own home. I had to place  my mother in care and then right after that our best family friend lost a leg below the knee.  I brought him home here to take care of him until he recovered.That was about 3 months until he could go home. My Mom and the friend have both passed now.  

I have no purpose anymore.  I have no one to take care of.  I am alone all the time.  I am scared all the time. I am just sick of trying to hold myself together.  I am going to see my GP and let her know how bad it is right now.. I think I need to go into therapy again or I am going to have a breakdown.  I have tried to handle this on my own and it is just not working.

K

Thanks for listening

Jillar, I have been spending a lot of my time looking back at my life. I suffered anxiety from a very young age.  My Dad died when I was 3 years old. I do not have any memories of him.  I do feel that something happened that scarred me for life.  There had to something that caused my panic attacks. Back then in the 1960s I don't think doctors had a clue.  

They did not know what was happening or how to help me.  So we went along, me doing the best I could with this terrible fear of everything. I still have this happen once in awhile. that feeling where you can't breathe, you get hot all over, you are dizzy, and need to throw up.  I went through therapy  before my son was born,  I did not want my child to go through this.  i did want them to see me struggle with normal life.  I was successful, he had a normal life, a normal Mom, Some of it was hard for me but I was able to hide it from him. I must admit that I am tired, i have no strength left to deal with my anxiety.  At this point I am okay with it.  I am happy, calm and peaceful.  It is such a great relief to let these things go and look to the future.

d

Boy, I really outed myself there.  I think when we quit smoking, we look back, we take the time to really look at who we are.  It is not a pleasant thing to do.  I see many things I need to correct, to take care of myself.  I need to stop giving my life away to take care of others.  I have come to realize that I thought I had to take care of everyone, make sure they were happy, that they could go forward with their dreams and goals.  That whole time I was the invisable person that kept the whole thing going.  I was the cook. the maid, the nanny, the teacher,the nurse, the gardener, the party planner, the personal shopper, the driver and everything else.  I have come to the conclusion that none of it mattered, No one is thankful or grateful, no one knows how hard I worked year after year.  I did all of this and worked a full time job. No one ever thanked me. So now it is going to be all about me.  I will quit smoking, I will get my eating and drinking under control.  I will learn to say NO, I can't fix your problems, I have to fix my own.

K

Jesus I have been in jail for so long and did not know. The  major thing in my life was the same, did I have enough cigs to get thru the day.  I need to stop on the way home to get a carton, not a pack but a carton.  When  can I sneak away and have a smoke.  Why is my habit worse than others that drink to much. eat to much.  I finally have realized I do all those things and it  is not acceptable. This just brings a whole lot of issues I need to deal with and I am not happry about it. Things are going to get alot harder but I will tackle it a step at a time.that is all I can do, admit the problem and try to do better.

Just found this thread. I am in charge.  May not like it but I have go do it. I have to be in charge but there are days when I want to say take care of that, I am going to take a nap.  It is kind of funny I found this,  I have been having trouble with my middle child (dog).  He thinks he is entitled to get food aggresive behavior and throws a fit, I mean ugly with teeth out and barking and going at the 80# chow who does not respond.  It is not acceptable, so I grab him and put my hand around his mouth an I tell him I am in charge, I put his food bowl up on the table. He is learning he can't have his bowl until he stops.  I yell at him in my meanest voice that I am in charge and he stops.  Am I doing the right thing? I know you are you are talking about my quit and I am in charge of that but to to take care of that I have to be in charge of all areas of my life.

K

Being a Texan I have had the joy of getting to float the Guadalupe.  Mind you I was in my twenties so I can't speak if I could do it now.  It is a wonderful time, full of nature and beauty you will never forget.  If you get close also visit Canyon Lake, emerald green waters and depending on where you stay, deer will come up to visit.

K

Jillar,

This really rings for me right now.  I have quit but have been practicing NRT therapy.

The worst may be nicotine lozenges when I feel I am going to lose my mind.  The second is over eating.  I have always loved to cook for my family and when my son was  in his teens they all wanted to come to our house because they knew they would be fed well. Got to admit I miss those days!  Now I cook and there is only me.  If I bake cookies or bread I take some to the neighbors and I freeze cookie  and pizza dough for my son and his family. I also find that I drink to much because I have chronic migraine and don't sleep well.  I know this is not good but I just try to focus on one problem at a time, right now that is to quit smoking.  I struggle, I want to smoke but I know if I do that once I will have to start over.  The first time was difficult enough so there is no going back.  

I lost weight going through my hip replacement but have gained it back.  I think better to have gained weight and stopped smoking.  Once the weather cools (it is 100 here today) I can get back out there and walk and get the weight under control.  You know that old saying "Man can not live on bread and water" but I am going to tell you man can live on water, bread and "BUTTER". Thanks for all you do!

K

Has anyone told you yet that you are an amazing, kind hearted and helpful person. I don't really know you, we will most likely never meet but I think this applies past this board.  I hope this gives you pride and joy to know how many people you help everyday. You make a difference in the world!

K