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Tara smith

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Posts posted by Tara smith

  1. Justin,  I am the quitting queen.  I think I have quit at least 6 times in the last 2 years (heck, maybe more! ) I just won’t give up quitting.  Eventually it has got to stick!  I am on my new day 3 or 4 of not smoking.  Hang in there!!  The only thing I know to do is stay close to this group and hopefully I will be in a position to reach out here when the evil cig comes a knocking.  It’s crazy knowing that it all started with that one cigarette 50 years ago.  Today I will make the commitment to just say no to the smoke.  Justin, we have to remember we can not handle just one without going to another ….ever.  Please hang in there.  

    • Like 4
  2. Today’s outlook thus far is much better than yesterday.  I think I best stay right here.  Somehow. Someway.  With all these quits under my belt it sure would be nice to figure out why the constant relapses.  I sure would like to figure out my brain to better prepare for the next time I quit the quit.  
    And it sure would be nice to offer someone else some guidance in their quit because honestly I obviously ain’t got nothing.

    thank you!  I won’t be straying too far away.

    Tara

     

     

    • Like 2
  3. Hugs to all of you!  Thank you so much for being here for me!!!  I have tears in my eyes. I am grateful to be here and I really don’t want to smoke!!  Here I am rolling into my first 24 hours.  This is probably my 1000th first 24 hours.  Mornings are always the worst. And when I crave the most!  So here it is morning.  And here’s my routine as a smoker: After my husband leaves for work I have been going out shortly after to buy myself my daily ration of cigarettes (about 5) in which I come home and proceed to smoke one right after the other.  Oh, and the rest of the pack I have crumbled and discarded so I won’t smoke anymore for the day.  Sometimes I’ll leave the open pack of cigarettes at the store on top of the trash can so somebody else can grab the rest of the pack.  Gheez!  Ok, so today I won’t be running to the store.

     

     I know all too well what smoking does to your health.  I had a health scare 1 and a half years ago.  I had my right lower lung removed because I was diagnosed with stage 1 cancer.  Yes, I quit smoking.  I have quit and started at least 3 times since my cancer diagnosis.  I quit at least 10 times before my diagnosis for various amounts of time.  At 65 years old I don’t have a whole lot of chances left.  Yesterday I almost used fear as my reason to smoke.  I have my 6 month scan the end of this week.  I sure would feel a lot better about going if I had successfully quit smoking sooner.   Like I initially said, I did this to myself.  Time to go look in the mirror and say, I love you!  Time to dig and find more reading on quit train.

    • Like 4
  4. Today is already a humbum day along with frazzled nerves. I did this to myself.  It’s a day of many urges.

    So here’s my strategy for the rest of this day one (and I am still in my 1st 2 hours…grrr).  Step one:  I think it might be good for me to look in the mirror often today and say, “I love you.”   I think it’s time to love myself more!  I do a little more self-loving when I’m not smoking.  One minute at a time.  There. I’m not smoking.  🙂

    I am going to be doing a lot of talking to myself in the mirror today.  I just can’t imagine looking at myself in the mirror and saying I love you with a cigarette in my mouth.  

    • Like 3
  5. I am back again.  Not even sure where to start other than to admit I am a nicotine addict and to start over.  Being a closet smoker doesn’t help this scenario.  I need some mighty strong support from y’all.  I knew exactly that I would bum a smoke from our handyman when he was here to do some work the other day.  Of course it didn’t stop there.  It never does.  So now to get my head on straight.  Nicotine.  I despise that word. I despise the hold it has on me!!  I might be here every hour.  Stay tuned. I need a ton of support.  Thank you.  I am trying again.  

    Tara

    • Like 4
  6. So much of this sounds like my story.  I am on day 7 & this is the most difficult quit yet. Maybe that’s good thing.  That’s what I’m sticking with anyway.  I am a stage 1 cancer survivor.  You would think that would have kicked my habit but I have relapsed twice so here I am.  

    I am interested in the know-how for creating a ticket.  And appreciate the link to get there to do it.   Something for me to figure out later on.


    On another note:

    I am thankful for all of you because you are the only people I can share with. 
    I don’t have anybody to share this with because I am a closet smoker (for those that don’t know) so I would like to share with you all here.  I just want to say that I am so thankful for the opportunity to go camping with my husband for 4 nights this past week.  He does not know that I smoke and we were with each other almost the entire time.  Absolutely no way for me to smoke unless I down right lied and made an excuse to drive to the store.  I wanted to bum one from another camper I saw in a distance who was smoking and i reframed.  Not being in my ordinary surroundings helped me tremendously.  Coming home and being here has been so very tempting.  Thankful I have not allowed cigarettes to win.  I am thankful that I think I can remain the queen of my domain.  For me it’s one day at a time.  I really don’t want to go back.  It’s just way too tough to have to go through a quit again.  Not smoking is truly easier on the long run.  It has just got to be.  
     

    thank you!

     

    • Like 3
  7. NOPE!  Just ain’t going to do it.  Day 7 & Don’t want to start all over again.  Starting over again on this quit would be nearly impossible because each quit gets harder.  And clearly the relationship I have with cigarettes is one sided and I keep getting hurt.  NOPE.  Cigarettes you’ve done your damage and I hope your drown.  

    • Like 7
  8. Typing and deleting works.  And reading what others wrote, the joys, frustrations, long timers, newbies, anything.  This place helps me ease my urges. Thanks. I’m hoping to find my way back here each and every time a weakness pops up.  See….craving gone.  There. It worked!

    • Like 5
  9. Thank you for your post Justin!  I have stopped and started so many times and here I am again.  At least I am not giving up my desire to stop.  This Thursday 10/14 we go on a small vacation for 4 days so that’ll be my new quit date.  I will stay as close as possible, commenting, seeking support or just reading.  My support group is strictly online because I am a closet smoker. Please don’t ask me to open up to any friends or family members because it’s not going to happen.

    Ok folks, so here I am again.  Getting myself ready.  I sure would like to be able to figure out why I keep going back to cigarettes.  It’s got to be more than just addiction.  I mean gheez!
    thank you for being here!
    I am ready!  Thursday is the day.  Now I just need to convince the cigarettes that I am ready.  Ha! Just kidding.  The cigarettes are standing straight and tall in a pack of 20 and waiting for me to cave.  Ugh, hoping I can do this.  

    • Like 1

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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