JH63

13 hours ago, Sazerac said:

I could see you setting yourself up for relapse and tried to get information to you to avert one.

13 hours ago, Sazerac said:

I say, quit playing this game.

Thanks to everyone for the encouragement!

You are right, I did set myself up to relapse! I let it happen again. I don't know what to do. I wasn't stressed out and I wasn't beaten down by cravings or urges! I don't know what happened. I did read the info that you gave me, but I guess I just read it. I started having a problem as soon as I hit that thirty day mark. It has happened to me so many times before. Once after a 17 week quit. I never have an excuse for failing because I honestly don't know why I'm failing. Others have quit after smoking for as long as I have. I am very tired of playing this game, but I don't know how to quit.

Take Care!

    Jeff

    I didn't want to just go away and tell everyone here that I lost my quit! I gave up a 30 day quit this past Wednesday the 17th. No excuses at all!

I want to Thank everyone here for their help!

God's Speed!

      Jeff 

HI!

    I am now four weeks and one day quit!

I am writing this because it was the worst day I've had on this quit! By lunch time I knew I was in real trouble. Nervous, shaky, couldn't quit thinking about smoking. 

Went back and read my pre-response to my SOS several times.

Here's what I think happened. That four weeks quit was a goal for me. I reached it, and it was like I didn't know what to do after I reached it. I know that I've got to get my mind back into this quit. I'm still not thinking of myself as a non smoker. I'm thinking of myself as a smoker who is trying to stay quit for a certain length of time, not forever! That's not going to work! I thought I was doing it ODAAT. I learned today that I'm not doing that. I've been thinking about this all day. Looking for an answer and I haven't found one. Now I'm just going to hope that tomorrow is better.

Take Care!

    Jeff

Thanks! That is a great thing to hear from someone who has been quit as long as you have. It gives a person hope!

Jeff

@breath

Thanks for all your support! I'm glad to hear that being tired is a normal part of the quit process and should let up at some point. Got up this morning grouchy, but after I got my head together it was a pretty good day.

I'm not panicky or over reacting to anything right now. I'm calm! I am still going to be on my guard. I'm going to come here everyday, and stick to my quit plan. ODAAT! I've lost several quits right around this time period. I think I'm better prepared than I've ever been to go the distance. I always wanted my quits to be over with quick. I now understand that it can't be that way. It's a long journey that I may always have to deal with on some level. I feel bad about ever becoming addicted to nicotine in the first place. But that's the way it is. I can't undo the past, I can only try to make the future better!

Take Care! Jeff

I thought I would write a little about how I'm feeling at this point in my quit! (Starting day 27) Cravings and urges are still around. They are less severe and they come further apart! I still think about smoking several times a day, but so far I have been able to talk myself out of it. I think I can continue to do so!

I am very tired most of the time. I don't get much done, and I sleep a lot. I've been asking myself, if any of my energy will come back. I know that I got a lot of my energy from nicotine and caffeine. I'm not getting any nicotine and I have cut my caffeine intake in half. I don't feel bad physically or mentally, just run down. To be honest, I didn't have a ton of energy before quitting. 47 or 48 years of poisoning myself has taken a toll on my body!

My wife's sister has been here for the week and will be here for another week. My youngest daughter is getting married on the 20th and my sister in law came to help out with the decorations and other things. Her husband and some other family members will be here next weekend. 

I will have to find some energy to get through this wedding! And for everyone's sake, I need to be in a good mood! I love my daughter and she had such big plans for this wedding. Then the virus came along and with all the restrictions at the church and the reception hall, everything had to be scaled back. I will help her to make it the best it can be. They don't want to wait until the restrictions ease up.

I'm determined not to let any pressures or stress from what's going on around me effect my quit. I've never said this before, but my wife and daughter have not said one thing about my quitting smoking. I get along with both of them just fine! I have quit so many times before (four times this year alone) that I don't think they are too excited about it. I can't expect them to be. I have to do this for myself anyway!

Take Care! Jeff

Welcome! I'm glad you are back on the forum! You will Celebrate your first week smoke free in just a little while. I quit once about ten years ago using Chantix. It was my longest quit yet, 4 months and a week. I used the Chantix for the first month at the starter dosage. I couldn't increase the dosage as the doctor wanted because of side effects. I wish you luck with it! I know people who have had solid quits using it as directed. Please remember that the Chantix may help you in dealing with the cravings and urges now, but you will still need to build a solid quit in order to make it stick when the Chantix is gone. Work on that toolbox of knowledge you'll need in the future.

The changing your routine advice is good advice. Sometimes when the cravings hit me hard I get up and go somewhere else, or I do something else. Most of the time there is a trigger involved and changing my routine disrupts that trigger.

You can do this!

     Jeff

@Nana20 HI!

 I am glad to hear that that you are dealing with your quit in the best way you can. Concentrate on staying as calm as you can! I know it's hard, but you can do it. When the cravings come deep breath your way through them. Long slow deep breaths! Find a spot where you can be alone to get your head together. Set some boundaries! I have needed that quiet time alone at points during my quit. But at other times I don't mind the distractions. They keep my mind off the cravings! I'm a walking contradiction! 

Make Quitting Smoking your priority right now. Those other issues will be there when you feel like dealing with them. I am sorry about the extra stress your under. But of everything you have described,  your quitting is the most important. Smoking won't fix anything!

Congrats on your fifth day Quit!

 Jeff

 From what I have learned about all types of addiction, I have to agree with the reply above me @reciprocity, Our brains where forever changed when we became addicted. That is why we can't have just one puff. Our brains don't work like a non smoker. When we take that one puff, our brains go right back to the same way of working as they did the day before we quit. Yes, we did do ourselves permanent damage when we became addicted. Maybe damage is too harsh a word. Let's say we changed our brain's way of working forever.

The good news is that this change in our brains, or mind, can be worked around by never giving ourselves nicotine again. The receptors will give up on asking for the nicotine over time. 

I don't think Brain Fog or No Man's land lasts forever. I think that those issues are part of the quitting process and will eventually go away. This is just my opinion, I'm not a long time quitter!

Take Care!

     Jeff

2 hours ago, max1888 said:

Is it really worth to quit smoking? I've not seen any benefits so far.

     Yes, it is really worth it!

  Your talking about your future health here. At your age, if you quit now, you may avoid all the health issues that come form smoking. For me health is at the top of my list for kicking this deadly habit! If you don't have your health, nothing else matters.

   Try to get settled down, in your thinking. Don't panic, it's not like the same options won't be available to you at anytime later on. Your health is worth taking the time to really think this, very important decision over for awhile. Three weeks is early in your quit. It's common to have good and bad days at this point. But I'd bet if you get a good nights sleep, you'll find things are better in the morning. You will see the benefits of your quit in time! Come back here and talk to all the Great people who can help you get your quit on solid ground. They have sure helped me!

Don't just throw a three week quit away! There is nothing in that cigarette that will make you feel better! Nothing!

Jeff

@reciprocity Thanks, I understand what you are saying! It's good to know that you have been successful without being totally commented from the very start. That's worried me all along. Maybe there are others here that were or are the same. I was given this link to read sometime back https://whyquit.com/joels-videos/a-99-9-commitment-to-quit-smoking-will-fail/. Maybe I just misunderstood it.

On the lighter side I now have three weeks quit. I feel good about that! It's one day longer than my last quit, but not as long as the longest quit I've had. I've had harder quits. This one has only had a few really hard days. I'm still going to take it one day at a time until I feel more confident. I'd like not to think about it all the time, but I have to keep my guard up. Most days are pretty much routine now. If I ever get to feeling better about quitting,  you know that light bulb coming on moment,  I'll tell everyone here.

@jillar I am sorry to hear about your breathing problems. But I am happy to hear that you took the warning to heart and was able to quit. Four years is a long time! It is really nice of you to come here and help others. This quit smoking thing is a real struggle for most people, and I have always thought that the best people to help are the people who have done it. They know!

I do read a lot and watch a lot of videos. I was told somewhere along the way that I needed to gain all the knowledge I could about the process of quitting. Putting that knowledge into my, so called, toolbox. I will agree that some of the information is conflicting in it's very nature. But when it comes right done to it we are the ones who have to quit. I know that nobody can do that for me. When I quit drinking it was the same way. I had a sponsor, read all the books, and worked the twelve step program, but in the end all that mattered was me wanting to quit. Everything in AA helped me, but I had to do the actual work myself.

Well it's on to week four!

Thanks! Jeff

@Boo That's what I'm here for, to get information from other quitters. The fear I feel is because of all my past failed quits. My mind was never committed. I know that! The video that says you are doomed to failure if your 99.9 % committed to your quit best describes my situation. Because I know that I'm not 100% commented. I may make sounds like I am, but I know the truth. Thanks for your input!

19 hours ago, Mac#23 said:

I have a feeling that you are over thinking this and putting more stress on your quit that you need to be. 

  I am sure that you are correct! I wish I knew how to lighten up. I wear my own self out! Thanks! Jeff

3 hours ago, Nana20 said:

Yeah it was crazy. I felt like a crazy person in the middle of a meltdown. It was beyond anything I have experienced in the past. Thank you for letting me know that I'm not the only one who went a little berserk.

Welcome to the forum! I wanted you to know that you are, as you say "I'm not the only one" is so very true. There are a lot of us here who are putting up a fight to keep our quits. You made a Great choice in coming here for support. These people have been here for me since day one of this quit. Please read everything that is recommended to you and then keep reading. Watch those videos about how big tobacco hooked us young for future earnings! 

   I also have those days, and times during the day, when I feel like I'm melting down. We just have to work through it! It's the only way out of our collective slavery!

It sounds like you have gotten off to a Great start. I wish you luck with your quit! We will all be here to give advice and encouragement!

Jeff

@Mona I've taken your advice and I have posted my own response to my SOS. I did it in the third person, and I plan to go back and edit it from time to time, as I think of other reasons to not give my quit up. I didn't do this before because I didn't think it would help me if I had it in my mind to smoke again. Maybe it will be the thing that saves me one day! Thanks, Jeff

Jeff, If you are reading this it is because you are in danger of losing your quit. You have been fighting to quit for so long now that you need to comment and get it done once and for all!

Settle down, take some long deep breathes and really read and concentrate on the reasons that you have been working so hard to quit!

1. Your health: You don't have COPD or Cancer yet! You did have a pacemaker put in last year. The doctor told you that the need for the pacemaker was not because you smoked, but that if you continued to smoke you are going to have a lot of problems in the future. I know you think that you can beat the odds for a little bit longer, but be honest with yourself, that's not true. It's junkie thinking! The health problems will get worse as long as you continue to smoke!

2. You want to be around to help your wife, your daughters, your Dad, and the few uncles I have left. You can only help them if you are healthy enough to do so! If you continue to smoke they may end up having to help you! You know you don't want to be a burden to others.

3. You know that you are becoming more lethargic as time goes on. You have a problem concentrating on one thing for any length of time. Quitting smoking should slow this process down, or maybe even improve it. You had to give up riding a motorcycle because of this concentration issue, and if you are honest with yourself you know you could have to give up driving altogether. That will take away your freedom to go where you want, when you want, and shove you further into depression.

4. Buying cigarettes and paying the bills for the health problems they cause take money away form you and your family that could be used for other things that will be needed in the future.

5. You need to admit to yourself, that even thou you can still work and get some things done, that you do have these tired spells. You also have to spend a lot of time talking yourself into doing anything. You justify this by saying "That's just a normal part of the aging process, I'm 63". This is not true! You know that smoking for 47 or 48 years has taken your energy. If you quit you my slow this process down. You may even find that over time, being quit, that you could get some energy back.

 You need to think about the reasons above, not just read them, think about what you wrote and why you took the time to write them down. Don't just skim over this and not pay attention to these reasons! This is the way you felt about smoking at the time you wrote this! Throwing your quit away will solve nothing and you know you will be right back where you were. You may even give up and not have the resolve to start another quit. THINK!

@Mona  Thanks for asking!

       If I get through tomorrow I will have three weeks quit. That's exactly how long my last quit lasted. I aim to make this one last longer. The cravings and urges are not so bad now, but I am having a rough time keeping my mind on track. I still spend a large part of my day concentrating on staying quit.

     Junkie Thinking or Romancing the Cigarette, I have to catch myself doing it. If I realize I'm doing it, I can easily Nip it in the Bud.  My quit is not real solid right now. I'm on shaky ground and need to keep my guard up.

  Take Care! Jeff

HI People!

                 I'm still here and I'm doing well! I've been reading the posts by new people coming to the site for help in Quitting Smoking. I wish them all success!

Day 17 is over. I did have some intense craving today, but I worked through them. I know everyday will be a little different.

@Doreensfree AA was a great help in quitting drinking. I've tried to use the same process for quitting smoking. I've even went to some Nicanom meetings in another city. We don't have any here in my area. I had no success, but my sponsor has been helpful. I think that, in my situation, smoking is much harder to give up than drinking was. Two reasons: one, I used cigarettes as a crotch while quitting drinking. Two, I only drank in the late evening,  but I smoked all day long. I came here because this site is specific to quitting smoking.

Wishing You a Great Day! Jeff

I'm happy for you! Use the deep breathing exercise if/when a craving hits. I have found that after a few slow deep breaths that the craving has passed. You can do this!

We are here to help you!

     Jeff

Congratulations for a job well done! I know you will have many more months and years to celebrate in your future. You've been a great help to me and others along your way.

Jeff

@jillar Thanks for the help! It took me two tries, but I got it!

HI!

    I am having a problem putting a picture (avatar) on my posts. Where the J in the circle is now. I followed the instructions. I make sure that the picture file is not too big. When I try to move it from my pictures, on my laptop, to this site, it tells me the file is too big every time. I've tried several times with different size pictures. Would someone please tell me what I am doing wrong! I'm low-tech!

Thanks!

Welcome, Don't be Sad. Many others are, or have been right where you are at now. There are lots of people here to help you! Nice people who understand! You have quit before so you should have some idea about what works for you. Make a quit plan! Learn from the past, and try to figure out what was missing in that past quit that caused you to pick up again. You've been back smoking for two months, so you should be ready to get right back to it. The longer you wait the harder it will be!  Good Luck!

@Mee Thanks for the encouragement!  I am trying to get out of that cycle, It's no fun! I've quit four times this years alone. There is a hump in this quit process that I have never gotten over . It's something mental, something I have to learn. I quit for 17 weeks a few years ago and still I didn't learn how to deal with nicotine addiction correctly. 

 I should be more committed than I am. I should have more resolve than I do. I am my own worst enemy. I have always been told that I think too much. I continuously take every little thing apart. I try to predict the future and it never comes out the way I had it figured. At age 63 I should know better, I should also be stronger. My way of thinking causes a lot of anxiety!

Well the good news. I'm happy about being 15 days quit. I'm also happy that I have the strength to fight on another day. Even at my age, after at least 47 years of smoking, I can still do a decent days work. I've never been told I have COPD, nor do I have lung  cancer that I know of. I am thankful for that!

Take Care!

    Jeff

@reciprocity  I hope this happens to me at some point in the future. I think it is possible, because it happened to me with alcoholism. I joined AA, got a sponsor, started working the 12 step program. Two meetings a week for a couple of years. Then out of the blue something just clicked! I knew I wasn't going to drink anymore. I've been sober for several years! I don't even think about it! I go back to a meeting now and then because I made some great friends there, and I feel like I should be helping others that want to quit. Just my being there and giving positive support helps me and them!

Thanks,

  Jeff

 Thanks for all the support!

@Doreensfree Thanks for the post you put on the other thread about No Mans Land. That was very helpful, in that I now know that other's have been there before me.

I was told when I first joined this forum that I should voice my concerns as I go through this process. In hopes that I will get some helpful input from others who have already been where I'm at. That is what I have been doing. And I have gotten some great ideas from many different people here.

Right now I've got one thing on my mind. Staying quit! I will admit that the cravings are becoming milder and further apart as the days pass. I have been here at this point before and even further along than I am now in other quits before. Then lost them over nothing! I wasn't craving a cigarette, nor was I in a stressful situation. There was absolutely no reason for me to light back up. But I did! That makes me a fool!

I have been working with a psychologist at the VA on this issue for about six months now. It's a mental issue? It's a commitment issue? I can't figure it out. I don't think that nice young man, with the Doctors Degree in Psychology, who has never smoked, can figure it out either. He has ask me on several different occasions if I have lost my will to live? Maybe subconsciously I have.I simply don't know! I've thought about it and I don't think I have.

I will admit that I have depression which I have doctored for since my teenage years. I don't have many problems with depression anymore. Age has seemed to take the edge off that.  I don't take any medications for depression. I have been prescribed many different medications for depression over the years. Non of them have worked out for one reason or the other.

I am keeping a specific log for this psychologist on this quit, at the end of each day I am answering questions that he wants to know. I think he will only want to read that if I lose this quit.  Maybe it will help him to help me. I don't know.

All I really know, right this moment, is that I am quit and I plan to stay that way! If I can stay quit it makes all the above irrelevant!

Take Care!