MLMR

Oh come on. This is just too stupid to be true . 

20 hours ago, Sazerac said:

I encourage all our newbies to post a pre- response to their own potential SOS.

This has been v. helpful when in crisis.

True that!

Writing a pre-respond made me both acountable and more in touch with my initial reasons to quit. In the end its YOU that has to do the job, and only YOU truly  know about your own demons and sabotage mechanisms, and ways to  derail them. The answer has to be obtained within

Thanks for sharing Jillar! Quitting obviously improved your overall health, although it must have been hard to believe sometimes, in the beginning..  

Newbies, be inspired by Jillars story. Stick to your commitment, everything WILL be better!

On 1/3/2020 at 11:10 PM, albert said:

... because I thought I was in control. Turns out I wasn't.

Yes, you were. You've always been. 

Your cigarette didnt light itself. 

14 hours ago, abbynormal said:

Be prepared to do the work.

Totally agree with this!

And: give yourself time to go through all stages. Have self compassion and patience, reward yourself for every important milestone, even when it seems childish.

Celebrate each moment of pride, of fresh breath, each and every moment that you experience how you do well for yourself. I exploited these moments like crazy and it made me much stronger. 

Dont lose connection with why you want to quit in the first place.

Make endless lists, make quitting your absolute priority no 1 and then grow tired of your effort  (for me, that was a huge part of being able to release myself from everything that kept me clinging to junkie thinking).  

You will also be able to quit

I regret every single cigarette. I can only hope I quit in time, before any permanent life threatening damage was done. 

Educate yourself. Romancing smoking keeps your addiction alert, while you actually want to put it to sleep.

Heather, these are the moments that give your quit weight and foundation, they are only stepping stones to a stronger quit. Use them for whatever it is that you want to (un)learn!

1 hour ago, Sazerac said:

As addicts, we thought of or acted on nicotine EVERY TWENTY MINUTES (or less !) for YEARS.

 

To think that pattern is going to disappear in months is unrealistic,  brain receptors need to be reclaimed one by one and this takes time.

Exactly that is why I still post my (rare) moments of addiction flare up. And working remedies. To some it may come across as 'wow, is that still an issue'  or, 'maybe thats a bit overdone...?' But I feel like I need to utilize these moments and keep breaking chains as long as they present themselves. I see my second year as a chance to put everything  to practice i learned the first year. 

It serves me well, I really still feel better every day, noticing changes in the way I handle things. Smoking is nowhere near tempting anymore, and when I do have smokey thoughts, I instantly  recognise them as neuro pathway patterns. 

Lilly and others, keep going and keep making yourself aware of whats happening. Dont fall for the attachment trap. This will all be in the past somewhere soon. 

Nope

13 hours ago, Boo said:

However, back in the early days every milestone felt huge and every time I accepted a new way of thinking it felt like an epiphany.

 

The challenges encountered early on in a quit only set the stage for moments of satisfaction and victory.

Exactly this ^^

I exploited these moments as much as I could, going over them again and again, celebrating in my own way and somehow trying to anchor them. That way I was building on something too valuable to lose. And... it worked!

Its definitely doable @Linda Thomas Just Make sure you get your elektrolytes, in order to prevent a headache.

On a 5:2 day I usually skip breakfast (also on non-fasting days now) and then have a simple salad or some pre-steamed vegetables for lunch. Dinner is often more veggies, these days mostly roasted pumpkin, zucchini, onion etc. Often with salmon or chicken. 

On regular days I really dont mind kcals, but to my huge surprise Im not as hungry or craving for mindlessly putting eatable things in my mouth as I was before. I can have my wine and beer like I used to and I still bake with  butter. In general Im a lot less ocupied with food and I really love that! 

@d2e8b8, I do 5:2 intermittent fasting. 

(https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/the-5-2-diet-guide)

Basically you eat normal for 5 days and mimic fasting for 2 days. On fasting days you consume a restricted amount of calories: max 500 kcal women, 600 kcal for men. Apart from the apparant health benefits (https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/10-health-benefits-of-intermittent-fasting#section1) its supposed to help you lose weight. Well, I clearly do.

Most of the time i find it easy to do. I expected to be binge eating on regular days, but its actually the opposite, Im less hungry and tend to make healthier food choices, without the feeling of depriving myself. 

And you know what, maybe I didnt even mention the biggest change: I DO stuff! Like getting up early to take walks, going to movies, taking my mom to places, visiting friends more than I used to, facing sh*t instead of hiding ... somehow life isnt passing me by anymore. 

Thanks Jill, but I should actually thank YOU and the others, for the neverending support you provide. The support and the storytelling here makes this such a wonderful and valuable place.

If it wasnt for quitting smoking, I wouldnt have been...

• gradually, over the past year, deep cleaning my house to the point where I feel at home and at ease again
• succesfully negotiating my job position and salary
• taking up yoga classes (and even liking them)
• saving money for a piano ánd being able to deal with some unexpected financial surprises
• picking up writing again
• losing 22 lbs
• re-doing my bedroom

And on a more subtle, but very meaningful level:
• accepting and adjusting to some major changes in my personal life
• coming to a new understanding with anxiety
• learning to say 'I need some time. Let me get back at that'.
• learning to be less (self)judgemental
• slowly gaining back some concentration, which I use to read. Thats major, after years of depression and fighting for my sanity.

The other day I ran into someone I havent talked to in a long time. She said these unforgettable words: 'its like you are more at peace now, not being haunted by some invisible raging inner critic'. And thats exactly how it is!

At the time it all seemed to go sooo veeeeerryyyyy sloooow. I nearly lost patience and kept complaining about the time it took for the patterns to, well, die. I clearly remember my desperation at smokey thoughts: "does this ever stop?!". And now I am almost three months into my second year and Im able to look back at that time, with nothing less than satisfaction and an insane amount of gratitude.

To the hero strugglers, keep going. You will feel better at some point, you will get there. Every day done and dusted is another promis for change. Thoughts about smoking will diminish, unrest will settle and you will find ways to give different meaning to whatever personal issues this addiction forces you to work with.

It is doable and more than worth it, for me as well as for you!
 

'It is well-known that smoking is much more common amongst people with mental illness – especially depression and schizophrenia. However, most studies that have looked at this association have not been able to disentangle whether this is a cause-and-effect relationship, and if so in which direction. Does mental illness increase the likelihood of smoking, or is smoking itself a risk factor for mental illness?'

http://www.bristol.ac.uk/news/2019/november/smoking.html

Birch, I admire you for pulling through, well done. 

Tell yourself that whatever you experience right now, is a part of readjusting. Its ok to feel like that, even though its super crappy. It wont kill you - smoking eventually will. The crying will go away, the depression will diminish. It may take time though. Heck, at more than 13 months Im still in that proces! But not once did I regret quitting .. and its all worth it. 

You know yourself best, trust in that you will take action when you need it (like seeing a doc, meds etc). 

Hang in!

Thanks a lot, to all. I've been recovering from cocktails, finally back at my two feet... when will the cleaning company arive? The Lido is a mess!

Its been a exciting year, (still amazing, one whole year went by...) and its great to be here now. At times I wondered, will it ever get easier? Yes, ofcourse, I know now. Life will happen, thats for sure. But its just so much better with more oxygen, self respect and calmth. I love this and wont lose it.

Thanks, thanks and thanks. X


 

...Got to be kidding me...  have to bring my own then... cant trust these party people...

^^Euro friendly explicit language version^^

Ohhh, I just cant wait any longer! 

'I got my swim trunks, and my flippie-floppies...'

3 hours ago, Doreensfree said:

Our friend is just testing the water ...

Well well well, look at that. 

@Sazerac love your cocktail Euro Trash Tour! 

Wow... this!

Stroopwafels – the gems of the Netherlands

The company Van Meer’s has created a Stroopwafel liqueur, which imitates the taste of our favourite Dutch snack, but with 14.7% alcohol added. With tastes such as cinnamon, caramel and slight nutty notes, this makes it the drink of gods. It’s already won a gold medal at a World Spirits competition, so we know it’s going to be lekker.

https://dutchreview.com/culture/food/if-you-thought-eating-stroopwafels-was-good-well-you-can-drink-them-now-too/

I cant wait!! I'll bring a million stroopwafels! Sooo excited! 

Yeah!!

I have only one request... can we do this dance together please? (AFTER the drinks ofcourse )

Hey Christa, congrats on one year!! Geat job and good to hear from you! 

How are you doing these days, this far in your quit ?