madturtle

1 year today. I have not smoked a cigarette. 

233 days without smoking. Going strong and enjoying life. I still have thoughts of it but its nothing like at the beginning. Now it stinks and irritates my nose for days. Funny how that works.

In 2 weeks, it will be 8 months. So worth it if you want it. 

3 months and one day and I am wanting to smoke. I have been thinking about it and have had to talk myself out of it a few times these last couple of days. 

Smoking is not an option so trying not to fight these thoughts. The main thought going is how much I enjoy smoking. But reality is I hated it. 

Going on to 4 months for a smoke free life. 

I'm almost to 3 months. I still have my moments but all in all, it's getting easier day by day.

I don't really miss them anymore as smokes but do miss the relaxation it brought with it. I still haven't found the replacement therapy for that. 

I'm truly a non smoker now.

Tonight is hard. 

I want to smoke. I am emotional and am fantasizing how a cigarette will do me some good.

I dont feel like there is anything left in me to fight this.

I went back to smoking because I wasnt strong enough before and dont know if I'm strong enough again. 

Giving in is so easy. Question is: why did I quit? I need to remember this.

today has been rough. Had a dream this morning of smoking one cigarette and that seems to have offset my day today. I keep thinking of going to the store.

I am reading the sos board and the responses have helped. it would be stupid of me to go thru this again. One smoke is never going to be one smoke. I have done that before and it didn't work then and it won't work now.

besides, the things are nasty. Why do I keep wanting to do this to myself? Its ignorant.

thank you. 

Part of me still misses it. I hope that that goes away soon. 

I remind myself that I'm not missing it but just wanting to do an action that I have done for over half my life. That will go away.

I have saved $374.64, I will live 7 days 8 hours and 6 minutes longer (barring any sort of tragedy) and not smoked 960.6 cigarettes. 

Iv'e never done that before. 

30 days without a cigarette. 

1 whole month. 

Feel odd pangs at times of *not wanting* a cigarette but looking for them like a thing I used to do. Really weird. LIke a need I need to fulfill.

Catch myself at times reminiscing and I remind myself that I don't want to go back there. The 3 D's: Distract, Delay and Drink water. 

One day at a time.