Opah

My apologies  and I am 100 percent in agreement with that policy.

On 3/5/2018 at 5:02 PM, notsmokinjo said:

Confession: When I was little I always thought the line of the song was " We come from a land down under, Where women blow and men chunder" .... I thought it was so cool that I could sing a rude song and not get in trouble.

Really Mine was from bohemian Rapisty  My wienies wet   My wienies wet My wienies wet. Funny part is my Daughter picked it up from me and one day at school signing out loud with the song came out My wienies wet My wienies wet My wienies wet.  she was so mad at me.

and do we remember this confession ?

Linda Girl:

Life will find a way, I have been procrastinating really getting serious about loosing weight after my quit, I have lost weight and gained weight like most all of us do.  Well now with all the covid shit, my job shit and all the plain shit out there my ulcers have started bleeding.

Will the up side to this is now I am on a liquid diet for a minimum of two weeks and (its not beer), guaranteed I will lose weight.

Don't be an OPAH it took an heart attack for me to get serious about quitting now I was doing good quitting, but to often I had those just one wont hurt, after the heart attack my quit I was solid.

so keep making those great for Linda plans and ideas and screw you if you don't like it,  you will in the end accomplish your goals.

17 hours ago, Kris said:

Sorry I somehow lost access to the board while I was sick.  I think I have fixed it. I am technologically challenged.  My thought is for our dear Jillar on bringing home her baby as I have mine here.  They also sent I lock of his hair and a footprint home with his ashes.  I must say when I pass it is going to be a challenge for my family.  My sweet pup Oz is here, and with him in the china cabinet is my husband, my Mom, the closest family friend of my husband and I. I have known the friend since 2nd grade and he became a good friend to my husband when we were only fifteen.  He had 2 brothers but neither one wanted his ashes.  I was in charge of his arrangements per his wish but I am still shocked they would not want their brothers ashes.  My son has directions to mix my ashes with his Dad's and our Oz.  My hope is to take dear friend to Colorado to spread, that was a favorite place of his to visit.  Does anyone else struggle with these decisions?

K

Kris after my first wife passed I Placed her ashes into the corners of sandwich bags and tied them off.  I took them every where with me and when I came across a place she or we loved to be at I would find some roses and empty a corner into the planter.

Now when I go to Disney land she is here, when I go to to Gold mountain she is there, all our beloved and carefree spots she is there.

 it took years and I believe I still have a couple in all my vehicles waiting for a place I have missed.

carrot cake cupcakes with lemon cream cheese icing !  Heaven on earth

Thank you all, it is appreciated.

I know it has been years to finally get to this one year and I am proud of myself.

Ace where did you get that picture of me?  That was like 10 years ago when I disappeared into the mountains for a year.

 Very sad time and such a wonderful time learned a ton about my self lived day to day,  trapping, my blow gun and Bow.  Didn't know what day it was, time was not relevant.  

Down to the hard haggling on cost, finally got some new astro turf down to .96Cents a SF.  Really hoping there warehouse is close enough for me to pick this stuff up, really do not want to pay 300+ in shipping.

Man iy is hard to believe all the plastic bottles I have recycled to make this crap and they want a freaking fortune for it.

repossessing Dunnies, isn't that dangerous !

My Mama always said life is like a bunch of Dunnies

you never know what your going to get.

sugar free Carmel hard candies Kris, if that doesn't that the edge off, get a tub of your bests ice cream, your most beloved  movie curl up in your must soft and warmest blanket, close the curtains, lock the doors and have a me only day except for the Pups they can keep your feet and lap warm

I have been waiting but it seems to have avoid me here in San Bernardino.

Storms will usually back up against the mountains and we get some really heavy down pours but as of yet Gray windy and cold no Rain.

Well Thank you Linda:

 I must say that having you and quit train in my life is certainly a blessing also.

If we could just remember all the blessing we have in our life's when we were starting to feel blue or unhappy, maybe just maybe we wouldn't feel down so often.

You might say my moms and My relationship is cemented in concrete ! 

Well it finally happen, I got 25 foot by 60 foot = 1650sf of concrete for the small sum of $7500.00.  Now my mom can take a short walk to the mail box or sit outside and listen to the radio.

I asked about some astro turf for the other half of the yard and my contractor said $8000.00 !   YIKES how can Grassy carpet cost some freaking much,

This is basically recycle water bottles with some green die added.

So starts the search, I am determined not to have grass or some BS desert land scape.  I want to be able to use it for Badmittent, mini golf or crocket.

Pretty right.

Guess you had better MOOOOOOOve it over and avoid the flying objects that have hurled in your direction.  Applogize and tell her you have been BAAAAAAAAD.

All righty now, brew up a big pot of nasty coffee, round up all the chairs and we'll have a good old fashioned 

For some the admittance of weakness or vulnerability is a tough one.

I worked hard at what ever it was I was doing, I strived to be the best or at least better than most. not sure where I got that but it was ingrained in me and I was proud of it.

To be called addicted, addict or defective was totally against all that I believed in myself.   I am sure Jill or Doreen could tell you stories about me arguing with them about being cured and not being addicted any more.

Sure enough I would test  it and throw a 7, 6 month quit down the toilet.

 Now I believe I am strong enough to admit my weakness, and the fact that

my addiction to nicotine will never go away,  I will get to be manageable, but feed it and it will jump right back up and take control all over again.

So here I am, educated, self assured,  and ready to do the work necessary to Keep my quit,  and Damn it I will continue to succeed.  

One week from today !  This was the reason I was able to let go of the $1500.00 for My BBAR and sight and ammo, Yes for me it is that big a deal.

Not sure how many years it has been 2 maybe 3, I am sure their are more than a couple here that know for sure.  That one year smoke free anniversary has eluded me,  yes it was me no excuses there, a jack ass in side that believe he had all the answers and control, that would not speak the word addiction or addict.  After all I am not sticking a needle in my arm now am I?  Years it has taken me to except that Nicotine had a grip on me even after 10 or 11 months of abstinence.  See the word abstinence triggers the thought process of NO SEX,  Not no Nicotine or no smoking.

Ugly words they are and my self image would not apply such Ugliness to my image of my self.

Well I have now, not to me now but to me the smoker, I can close mt eye invasion me smoking and what I see is ugly, no more romantic mountain man in the cloud covered mountains, Tranquil and soft puffing on a smoke.

I see a yellow smile, smelly, coughing some thing people avoided.

It took me finally being able to apply those ugly words to my self.

For me this is not seven steps,  it is a life long process constantly changing with my ability  to love and care for myself, to see the ugly and the handsome sides of me.  Be able to tell the truth and not lie to myself.

That desert eagle is a 5lbs gun, has the weight and Being gas operated helps big time with the recoil.   There is no ignoring its report, when it Barks people listen !

Well life for my elderly mother is getting a little better today, final planning is done and the contractors are going to start the 22 X 65 foot concrete apron from my front door to the curb tomorrow.

 Soon she will be able to walk out to get the mail, set outside and listen to the radio, talk to the dog next door, She loves that dog, she signs and him will she says signs back to her.

Got my 3 days off and Remembered our anniversary.  I am taking my wife out for a nice dinner and walk on the beach, going to pack a blanket just incase we can get frisky.   Moon lit beaches have that effect on me.

Dogs and Babys  how can you go wrong

A huge smile a minute