Doreensfree

Hi everyone. I am new to this website. I was a former member of Quitnet and currently with NOPE 365. I like being accountable, and being supported as well as supportive. That's why I am here.

It might take me a little while to navigate thru here, but I'm sure it will work out.

Tomorrow marks 19 months since I quit. Still at it. I'm thinking about getting a challenge coin made for the 2-year mark.

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So this post is purely to explain where I vanished to...so where did I go?..... too far into my own head...Did I smoke, NOPE!!

So I have a daily battle with anxiety just to walk out my front door, once I'm out I'm usually fine it's just getting out and interacting with that first person....then I'm usually OK until I get home and then the walls close in and the anxiety and doubt starts and I rehash every single interaction from the day from every angle.. so lockdown not so good for me..since late 2019 I have really struggled with my mental health including some suicidal episodes, my health/medications were the trigger but there were underlying things within my character and history and anxieties that fed my freefall. 2020-21 has been really bad for me...I left my job, which I hated, for what I hoped was greener pastures but instead was bad, bad, bad...all my psychological triggers hot switched and I basically worked if I was awake....I was doing more unpaid hours a week than paud hours and being criticised constantly because I wasn't working enough...which just fed that little voice in my head telling me how pathetic I am etc...I couldn't come here because I didn't have time (in my mind) and I couldn't be anything other than negative about anything...every day I saw or heard things that reminded me of here and the guilt I felt by vanishing weighed heavier and heavier and the need to come buck burnt more each day. So in August my radio station started spruiking Aus Music Month...and the happy voice in my head, thr one that had been squashed and silenced for nearly 2 years went, "Oi dipshit, Aus Music Month, one song a day, get your arse back on the train"..and I started working on a play list...a few days later I quit the job from he'll on a whim...then one of the dearest friends I've ever had, but never met, went on a campaign of sms to put a cracker up my arse to get me back, then I landed a new job, strict hours easier work, more money, win, win, win... and here I am back. Where I feel I belong, where I've just been accepted back, no questions, no awkwardness, as if I didn't vanish and ghost you all. Am I better?, will I ever be, probably not, and I making changes to improve things yep....Fark I missed you mob, every frickin day..

So that's why I vanished, my brains broken and I thought you deserved better than my presence (see brains broke)... I know, and I've always known you mob don't care and accept all my crazy, just need to do it myself.

Finally, to all my friends here, which us pretty much the lot of you, I am sorry. Sorry I vanished. Sorry despite knowing in my heart you wouldn't care that I couldn't be miss positivity and sunshine you mob wouldn't care I ran and hid. It was a shitty thing to do and the fact you have welcomed me back as I never left just proves what wonderful amazing people you all are.

Hi Doreen, good to see I am not the only one awake but I am about tp drop.

Just wanted to give you personal thanks for making me so welcome to the board and your help in how things work.  I think I may have traded one addiction for another;  This is the habit I want to keep

K

Hi Doreen, good to see I am not the only one awake but I am about tp drop.

Just wanted to give you personal thanks for making me so welcome to the board and your help in how things work.  I think I may have traded one addiction for another;  This is the habit I want to keep

K

I miss you piggy... so does pork chop... we want you to come back.... ..... the house isn't going anywhere, the paint wont go off, come and play ......please.... pretty please with sugar on top.....

I miss you piggy... so does pork chop... we want you to come back.... ..... the house isn't going anywhere, the paint wont go off, come and play ......please.... pretty please with sugar on top.....

Amigo Pigo, it's no fun without you.

Hello beautiful friend!! I hope you are having a great day...don't spend too much time in your garden...don't want to get lost in there! Trust me!...or, maybe you do?

What do hamsters and cigarettes have in common?? Both are completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and set them on fire

Sleeping.... And eating... Sleep-Eating

According to my little quit app counter thingy : 999 days quit, 14,999 cigs avoided ... :D

you won't see me in a hospital bed - you'll see me at the finish line.

Excited to make this the best decade of my life!! Woot woot!

Day 4!

so glad for the quit train and all you wonderful quitters!

starting over....again. (not with smoking. Quit is solid)

Hello, I am new to this site. I found it quite by accident. I really feel I am ready to quit smoking and I wanted to find a forum that would offer tips, answers, and mostly support. I am really anxious to hear about everyone's journey through this process.

got a picture of my brothers and sisters only one not here is eric

Willingness, Choice, Gratitude and Acceptance

One year folks, 1 year

Over 25000 cigs not smoked!

2 years : 730 days quit, 10,964 cigarettes avoided, £2,088+ saved

cloud has a hole in it but not going to smoke updated