bjean

I joined this group in 2017 because I was finally determined to quit smoking.  I quit on August 30, 2017.  I was faithful about posting my struggle, hoping that encouragement would keep me on track.  On September 7, I had a gallbladder attack.  That night, around midnight, my gallbladder got worse and I had to call an ambulance because I couldn’t drive.  At 2pm on September 8’ I had surgery to remove my gallbladder and all hell really broke loose.  I have afib.  The day I went home from the hospital, it kicked in....and didn’t go away.  2 weeks later, my blood pressure went haywire. They tried to shock my heart back into rhythm.  Didn’t work. Last year I had a breakdown and was off work for 7 weeks for outpatient mental health treatment.  BUT....I’m still not smoking.  What helped me doesn’t make complete sense, but it worked.  I bought 2 packs of cigarettes and put them in my glove box.  This is a psych thing.  I didn’t have the panic attacks that I had when I tried before.  I knew I had cigarettes so every craving was MY choice.  I wasn’t deprived of cigarettes.  They were available.  That they can help you put off the craving....and put it off again.  I’m sorry to be so long, but maybe this will help somebody.  

WoooooHoooooo!  I truly hope to get there one day!  Congratulations.  Keep us laughing and keep inspiring us to stay on the train!!!!! B)  :dirol:  :ok:  :clapping:  :dance4:  :dance:

Today has really not been a good day.  If you've read some of my other posts today, you may know that I had my gallbladder removed 2 weeks ago.  When I quit smoking 3-1/2 weeks ago it was because I was starting to feel constriction in my chest.  Folks, I wasn't that heavy a smoker.  A little over 1/2 pack a day on average.  I might do more if I was under stress.  I did smoke for about 23 years.

 

This morning the chest constriction is back.  It's scaring me and driving me crazy.  It's like there's something I need to cough up, but I can't!  I'm having some sinus problems so that may be it, but I'm really scared.  Has anybody else been through something like this?

Things only a person who's quitting smoking would understand:

 

16. Stress makes you want to smoke. Feeling tired makes you want to smoke. Hearing that it will rain in two weeks makes you want to smoke.

 

OK, today has been OK, but a little bit challenging.  First of all, I don't know if I feel nicotine withdrawal at all.  I did last Saturday, but I think what I'm experiencing down is the psychological withdrawal and it is kicking my butt!  I haven't caved in, but the constant badgering from my subconscious is wearing me out!  Today I got in my car and actually put my hand into the little cubby where I used to stash my cigarette pack.  Of course it's not there, but that's the first time I have ever just subconsciously reached in there to get a pack.  I thought this was supposed to get better!!!!   Maybe I'm just tired.  I did not sleep well last night and am really exhausted and about to head up for bed.  I'm glad you guys seem to be the sympathetic, patient types because I feel like I need to put something on here daily to keep myself on the straight and narrow.  I think I still have some routines that I may need to change to avoid that little devil on my shoulder telling me to light up.  There is a philosophy that says that you need to continue the same routines.  You need to fight your way through them so that you can CONQUER them.  I feel too weak for that right now  What does everybody think?  Fight or flight?

 

I'm finding that none of this is going the way I had envisioned it.  But I am learning that it is not just a daily thing.  It's hard for me to describe.....and it depends on the circumstance I'm in.  At work it's easy to forget the whole thing.....but when I go on breaks or lunch......different story.  Then it becomes almost a moment-by-moment thing.  If you expect to make a decision.....and make a plan then have everything just fall into place, that's not going to happen.  Flexibility is key.  One thing I did notice today.  I left the building for a break.  Smokers are supposed to confine themselves to designated areas, but this guy was smoking in the parking lot.  I had to walk through his little cloud of smoke to get past him and boy did that smell good to me (sorry....it really did).  BUT, when I got in the elevator to go to my floor, the same guy was on the elevator with me.  I thought I would asphyxiate before he got off. Somehow it was FOUL when I was smelling the residue on his skin and clothes.  THAT's the smell I need to keep in the back of my mind.

 

Nobody can predict what will and will not be a trigger for you.  And when you discover your triggers, you are going to have to make a choice.  Are you going to try to stand stoic in the face of your temptation....or are you going to give yourself a break and stay away from it for a while.  It's tough.  It may mean some social sacrifices, but if going with your coworkers to stand with the while they smoke is going to tip you over the edge.......DON'T GO WITH THEM!  We are all here to help you however we can, but our ability is limited.  You are there in the moment and the choices are ultimately yours.

edimame

NOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

While you read Allen Carr's book, you can continue to smoke.  At some point during the reading you may decide to quit, but you MUST continue reading to gain new tools in your arsenal.  Do not give up on yourself.  

Well, folks.  I have officially made it a week!  Last Tuesday night, I smoked the last one.  Still feeling the pull.  Still a little scared that I'll get overwhelmed and cave in, but.........so far, so good.  Some kind of reward this weekend, I'm thinking.  I just wish the weather would get cooler so that I can get out and walk.  I just cannot take the heat and humidity.  Afraid of gaining weight, but cannot let that get in the way.  I can only deal with one thing at a time.  The quit is my first priority.

 

Boo.....I think we must have gotten up at about the same time this morning.  Never too much NOPE, though, huh?

 

Shanakor,

 

I'm probably not the best for this.  I will only hit 7 days at 9:30pm EDT.  I hate to say this, but it's different for everybody.  If you feel that you need to get rid of everything, DO IT!  Right now.  If you do, though, destroy it.  Break all the cigarettes, break the lighters.  Make them useless.  It might actually give you some satisfaction too.

 

One thing that has been significant for me is a page on this site that's called JUNKIE THINKING.  Find it.  Read it.  Print it out.  I nearly jumped out of my skin this past Saturday.  I turned to this group and they helped me out.  Look for the form called S.O.S.  Use it.  Every 5 minutes, if you need to.  Yes.....community helps.  It doesn't seem like it will right now, but it will help.

 

There's a forum called NOPE......Not One Puff Ever.  You make a commitment every day not to take one puff.  Sometimes making that commitment on a daily basis helps.  Get back on here and tell us what we can do to help.

 

Best wishes for your journey.

NOPE

 

Will somebody please explain this game to me?  I don't want to be thick, but I can't figure out where the numbers come from!   :wacko:  :blink:

OK, this is really NOT an S.O.S....so I didn't put it there.  Saturday was definitely an S.O.S., but today is just frustrating.  MY BODY WANTS A CIGARETTE.  Notice I didn't say it NEEDS a cigarette.  I said it WANTS a cigarette.  I was reading some posts about how folks made it through their first months/weeks.  One person said that she stayed on here all day and all night.  Good.  Somebody else did too.  I haven't closed this all day.  I haven't posted, but I've read everything. I just want this to go away.  OK, so I haven't made it to a week yet so maybe I'm being impatient, but I want to FEEL like a nonsmoker.  When does that happen.  When will I stop automatically reaching for a pack?  When will the monster SHUT UP???????

 

 

Oh, yay!  Welcome!  You'll find quite the cheerleading squad here.  I'll hit 1 week tomorrow night....so I may not be much help.  Don't forget to commit to NOPE every.single.day.  Sign the page.  It makes it real.

Still working on this ticker in the signature.  Something isn't right and the numbers are wrong.  Can anybody help?

NOPE

 

 

 

Can somebody explain to me how to get the ticker in your signature?  I see 2 lines, but I don't know where to paste them.

Paul723.  I don't know HOW to put this addiction to sleep.  My intellect has known for a long time that cigarette smoking is primarily a nicotine addiction.  I say primarily because I think the other component, which is the psychological dependence is as problematic for me as the addiction.  Yesterday was HORRIBLE.  I was angry and out of control.  I honestly don't know how I made it without smoking, but I did.  Today has been somewhat better.  The addiction is not pulling me as strongly, but the psychological part was pulling me today.  I would almost head to my old smoking spot on auto-pilot.  Of course, there are no cigarettes there so it won't work, but I miss it in a really sad way.  Shouldn't I be celebrating?  Why am I sad because I miss it?  How can I put this addiction to sleep feeling that way?

For any who may just be coming back after a few days, I'm new here.  I just read a post that says that, when you first quit, it's important to stay with the group for strength.  As Scotty says in Star Trek Beyond:  "As my wee granny used to say, you canna break a stick in a bundle."  So, I thought I'd tell a bit about myself.  

 

This is not my first time to quit.  I started smoking in 1993......and was way to old to have started this foolishness.  I was mad at the world and instead of taking my anger out on the world, I took it out on myself by starting to smoke.  That's 24 years, but, if you ask me how many years I have smoked, I'll tell you 23.  That's because I quit for about a year....and was dumb and weak enough to go back after a WHOLE YEAR!   I know that you can quit under pressure because I decided to quit right before 9/11.  Of all things, I went back to it (in my view) because of a man.  He dumped me.  I got depressed and said to myself "Who Cares!".....and picked right back up where I left off.

 

I feel that I should be honest and say that I really didn't WANT to quit this time.  I just began to live in the knowledge that it was killing me.  That was beginning to scare me.  Boy do I wish I could say that I was eager to jump on the bandwagon (or train, as it were), but I set a quit date for my birthday, August 19......and blew right by it still smoking.  I want one right now.  I had the roughest day yet yesterday, but I kept the NOPE.  I didn't do it.  I did pick one up.  I still have an ashtray with 4 butts in it.  I picked one of those up and put it to my lips.  Do you know how bad those taste and smell?  I did it quite deliberately, hoping that it would gross me out enough to enjoy the quit yesterday.  Well, that part didn't quite work.  I'm an addict.  Addicts aren't put off by smells.  

 

I got through yesterday.  My first S.O.S.  I took my calendar and number all the days of September in RED.  I numbered them up from August 29, the day I had my last cigarette.  I did it so that I can see those numbered days out there.....so that I REACH for those days out there.  Dramatic, much?  You bet.  I'll play games with myself.  I'll be the drama queen.  This is something I have to do.  Failure is not an option.  I'm originally from Tennessee, but have lived in Georgia since 1993.  It has always been my goal to retire close to the Smokies.  I turned 62 in August so that's 3 years away.  I want to be able to do that and enjoy it.....to still be able to go for walks in the mountains.  I can't do that if I'm wheezing and can't breathe.

 

Sorry to be so long, but I needed to DO something and this was it, apparently.

 

NOPE