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Death In The West - The Marlboro Story (Full Documentary)

Lust4Life

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  1. Lust4Life

    Friends

    By Lust4Life,

    I have several circles of friends.  I divide them up.  Maintain relations with each of them . We are all in varying stages of life, big kids, little kids, no kids, stress, remorse, and contentment.  I never really thought about how I categorize(d) my friends.  Perhaps it was mentioned in passing many years ago in between banter with the bartender.  I see it -so much more clearly now that I observe my young child's social interactions.  I observe through a microscope and telescope.  Both are equally helpful. 
     
    It is amazing how I can still be an outcast in social situations.  The varying social situations I often find myself in.  Nearly two years ago, I was the only smoker.  So I thought.  Secret smokers are everywhere!  I always felt on edge, wanting to leave the discussion or party just to go home and smoke in the privacy of my own patio.   Being a secret smoker sucked.  I felt isolated. 
     
    I have a new set of friends.  I've kept the old.  It is safe now for me to socialize with my old friends that still smoke.  Safe because I am not a smoker.  I stay inside and they spend more time outside.  Again,  I feel isolated.  
     
    They are safe because I am not a cheater.  I'm inside alone with their card hands face down on the table.  
     
    I'm honest.  
     
    I'm a non-smoking, non-cheating crappy card player. 
     
     
  2. Lust4Life

    Binge

    By Lust4Life,

    Unchartered territory.  No oars, motor, navi, or map.  Howdy!!!   Still not sure whether or not this content will be read.  How did you quit smoking?  Was it planned or on a whim?  Mine was both.  I planned, quit, then failed,.  Tried again and again.  Until I finally quit.  Just quit.  Decided that was that, read Carr's book again (yep, first time failed), found a supportive forum.  I quit. Quit. Done. Next. Moving on.  I did not binge prior to my final quit.  I have binged before.  The mentality being -"I'm going to smoke and drink until I'm so sick I'll never want to do this again!"
     
    So, after 18+ months, I am thankfully labeled a non-smoker. ex-smoker,  PERSON THAT DOES NOT SMOKE!
     
    I don't smoke.
     
    I eat.  And ate.  A lot. 
     
    I ate too much over the course of 18 months. 
     
    This evening I binged.   On food.  And drink.  
     
    I re-read the books.  
     
    A different quit starts tomorrow.
     
    I binged today knowing I would not tomorrow.
     
    This weight must come off & it will.
     
    I quit smoking.  I can do anything.
     
    And I will.
     

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