Still winning

Sorry to hear about Baxter.

And yes, one day you will feel about smoking how you felt about drink in that moment. A thought association that you realize has really bad consequences so you move on and do something else. It might help to treat your quit a little like a baby. It's so new and precious and needs protecting and looking after at all times, in good times and stressful. xx

You will find wonderful things to do with your time, I have no doubt. A day in nature sounds like the prefect antidote to spare time, it always wipes time away :)  One day you'll be whining to someone in a general conversation about how little time you have and you'll stop and smile for a second because you will remember you have more then you've ever had :)

I totally relate to wanting to get out and do stuff versus the smoker who wants to just be in a safe place to enable smoking. Trust this journey even if it wobbles from time to time. You are doing perfectly and you will soon have a very full and happier life. xx

I don't know very much about the drugs you are on but I would say go gently with yourself. Any withdrawal needs recovery time and I think it's ok for you to take that. Massive congrats on not smoking through it all, never give ourselves the excuse. Awesome running effort too! xx

Keep the faith that this too shall pass. It can feel exhausting just carrying on I know, but you won't feel like this all the time. The thing with a quit is there's easier and euphoric times and harder times. It can actually switch up one day to the next and how you choose to think about it plays a part too. 

You're doing fab, just keep taking one step at a time. x

Why not with the candies :) 

The associations can take a while to break. The "I'll do xyz and then have a smoke" ones. It's tricky but then one day you just crack on with the next job and it's not till later you think "oh, I forgot about not smoking there" lol. It sneaks up on you bit by wonderful bit. 

You're doing great!! 

x

I hope it's ok to say but these comments about free time made me smile. It's true that there is a wealth of time suddenly and it feels like nothing can fill it.

May I suggest a list of things to do. Write a list of all those jobs and hobbies that you've meant to get round too and when you get restless thinking free time do the next thing or something you fancy doing off your list? I mixed up some googling of information that interested me (crystals, kings and queen lineage and so on), meditation, cleaning out under the sink, under the stairs and basically jobs I'd put off. I also had new things to try and bake and all sorts. It's really made me smile to remember finding loads of things to do and having the time to follow them through. 

Either way, week 3 can feel long Indigo, I don't know why. Some say there's something in the 3's, others don't buy into that "nonsense" and I just want to say - great job on trudging through this week! You're doing amazing. xx

I feel like I missed out, Beth was never mean to me. I once called myself the relapse queen and she accused me of trying to steal her title and it made me laugh...from then on I trusted she had been where I was going and she simply called BS when that happened and hi five'd you when you did good.  I like real people. 

Sending love and light to wish her well on her journey home, safe in the knowledge she will be safe and well with her sister by now. Pleased in a way that they are together.

Personally, I feel really sad and can't quite believe it.

Can't imagine what her family are going through so sending love to all of them. xx

Creating distractions is an excellent plan!

Sounds like the nico funeral must have gone well :)

Congrats! x

Hello my beautiful friend. I am pleased you have healed although sorry to hear that was such a long road for you. Many congratulations on 2 years of freedom :) xx

I missed this Karl, sorry. 

As frustrating as it can feel, keep plodding. Keep your coping techniques in place, ask for help if you need it. Pretty soon you're gonna be meeting those triggers with a feeling of internal rage - the "how very dare you think you can come for me" kinda feeling. 

The thing is we are all so unique in our approach that no two timespans are the same. I wobbled at 7/8 months and was so worried how I would cope with it. Then as strong as it came it went again. Now it's all good and that's the truth of it. I went on holiday last week, smoking was everywhere, a small part of me always thinks ahhh, then I remember what goes with it as quick as that dumb thought occured and I move away, cause it smells so bad lol. 

So just know that you are done like you say and whatever it takes! I know you will :)  Anyway, a rambly way of saying you are doing amazing and it's just a thought anyway right - thoughts can't hurt you - smoking can. Simples. xx

It's a true gift and a journey of self discovery you're on. Try and be gentle and less pressured with yourself. One day at a time will serve you well. Be excited for the times when it feels like a downhill slide rather than the times that feel tricky - it helps to acknowledge both.

You are doing amazing and tracking it this way is fabulous, both for you and you never do know if someone will jump based on reading your words one day and become a non smoker too.

The age old question shall be answered, you are already a non smoker :)  There is only smoker or non smoker and you have more than earnt the more coveted title, great work!!

Don't we all start to think the same thing of how great it would be to have done this sooner.

I'm pretty excited for you for when those edges start to iron out!

You are doing amazingly well :) 

x

You got this.

You always had this.

Stop doubting, stop questioning and let's get on with this life we have, self doubt has no place here but friends do. You have always had this. Believe me if you don't believe you at this point in time. 

Much love and strength. xx

So it's been sunday, now monday, let's get this party on :)  You can absolutely do this, just jump and get it done. xx

To not have that constraint on my thoughts and movements really is an indescribable euphoria. It's finding inner freedom, shaking off a dependency that gave me nothing. All the things I thought I couldn't do if I stopped smoking, I can, and better: Socialise, be creative, and concentrate. 

THIS!! 110% this statement!!  

Oh you won't believe the freedom that is around the corner if you just hold on. It is so lovely to be free of it all.

I would really love it if you would share this on the quit smoking discussions. You just never know who is reading behind the scenes and where they will look and this inspires me 13 months quit, you could inspire someone new even if they never join the site.

x

I'm pleased for you that you have a plan. 

Hoping the garden brings you some joy despite what it isn't. 

x

The triggers came and went yesterday, today I feel solid again. It always passes and it's great that I forget it can be so grim, it means I barely remember day to day and I like that.

It was sepsis (infection gets into the bloodstream), basically the shudders were results of that and a ridculous temp. She's much better, being released today.

It is what it is and I guess it's just a reminder that I'm this addict so I don't ever get complacent. Tough times for sure but it helped just to get the words written and out of my head. Thank you for your lovely support.

x

Absolutely, protect the quit while it is in this stage. Massive congrats on day 3 down, big news! That should be all the nicotine out of your body now already :) 

I think what's you've said is very profound and may help manyothers.  There is indeed a gap left, both time wise and mentally from smoking and I agree wholeheartedly, something must fill it or we miss the "commitment" to something, it's odd.  

I want to say though Chrys, I did fill the gap at around 8 months and I do feel free but I watched some 9 and 12 monthers still having the odd battle and that's ok. I will never forget I was a smoker and that I sometimes need to choose to be a non smoker again...that's addiction and I have come to accept that, not like it...but it's only thoughts and I recognise all the emotions and reactions as the addiction thoughts and so maybe mine is easier now because I did have other creative outlets.

Be kind to yourself my friend and it will come. There is no time limit on this and nor should you put one on yourself. The fact you know you won't smoke is great and I acknowledge you've had that the whole way through...so don't pressure yourself that you should feel XYZ by now...it comes in it's own time.

x

You first Dors :)  I think we will happily toast each other this month. xx

Love you too and thank you for taking me under your wing the once when I really needed support. Ridiclous that some moments are pivitol like that and help so much. x

I know it's a tough time but maybe try and see the quit as a good thing in a dark time...rather than smoking would help. Love and strength to you. xx

Just struggling a bit with life...So it's good to get the link out of my brain so it doesn't fester and grow. Thank you for your support. x

All the best people have a large mental percentage lol.

All good :)

xx