Reciprocity

That's a good one. Explains a lot of how suddenly our lives seem a little empty just after quitting 

Just do your own thing Darcy. Why worry about others and how you stack up to them or their experience as a quitter. We are all different. We all quit differently but in the end, it is our own choice as to how we quit and become free or whether we bow to our addiction and begin feeding it again. Why should you not be entitled to enjoy the benefits of being smoke free? Just do it your way because .... your way will be PERFECT for you

Your quit is still relatively young. Be patient. It will continue to get better and easier as time goes by. That doesn't stop at some point. It's a continual process. Give it time, lots of time. You'll see ...............

That's how we all do it I think QueenB - persistence wins the day 

Those early days are trying for sure but you CAN get through them. Since smoking is no longer an option, you just need to find another way through those difficult moments.They are tough for sure but they will not always be with you. Better days are in your future  

I bet your friend will not forget that encounter - lol

Good for you in facing that and winning! Shows your commitment is strong and you are on solid ground.

And you're right. Being around a group of others with the same commitment as you and who have experienced the same stuff as you are now going through is a powerful tool. That will become even more important down the road as many around you may start taking it for granted that your quit is done and in the past when in reality, you will still have work to do in crafting your new smoke free life. I would definitely post up in the 1 year pledge. You know there are different seasonal triggers that come up with the changing of the seasons. Those can present new challenges you haven't had to deal with yet. That's what makes the 1 year celebration (the Lido party) such a big deal. Doesn't mean you are completely done building your life long quit but it does mean you have likely seen all the triggers you will need to deal with.

You are doing the right thing Vivianne! Avoiding friends that would give you a cig would be pushing it at this early stage. You can and will face that situation later once your quit is stronger and you are making it that way daily now by adhering to NOPE! Trust in the process and stick with NOPE. You will never regret it, that's for sure!

Post as often as you want to and pics are worth 1,000 words so throw those in as well when ever you feel like it.

My mother is turning 99 in Nov. she smoked for a good chunk of her teens through to probably 30ish? She has admitted to me that a few times the thought of; "I should be having a cigarette now!" I think she's just more surprised that it still happens occasionally after all these years. She says it almost jokingly so I know it's not a strong craving to smoke or anything but just some vague, smokey image in her head that still rears up on occasion because despite the almost 60 years she's been quit, she's still a nicotine addict and always will be. 

Although we can never become no longer addicted to nicotine, the beauty of quitting is that we can and do get out of perpetual withdrawal cycle, which is where we live each and every day that we are smokers. With time invested in our quits, it becomes effortless to remain quit. All that's required is mindfulness that we are still nicotine addicts and must act accordingly N.O.P.E. Putting that awful addiction into a deep sleep gives us a second chance at living life the way it was meant to be lived - free, healthy and a little richer in the wallet  

Glad to hear there's at least some progress in your medical issues and that your brain fog is getting better. All that stuff takes time but at least when you have a clearer idea of what's going on you can make a plan to deal with things and move forward. The circumstances of the death of both your wives is just bizarre. Both passing at the same age and on children's birthdays - wow! Just know this Richard, there's never anything any of us can do to help if a smoker does not fully commit to quitting - it's frustrating I know but it's just the way this addiction works against us. Hold true to your own quit now no matter what Richard. You owe that to yourself and your kids. They have suffered great loss too and will need their Dad to lean on.

Congrats on 7 days (Hell week Done)! It's a crazy journey in the beginning. Your whole world (and mind) was turned upside down and shaken into a jumble but from that jumble, you will build a new life. A nonsmoking life that will be richer and healthier than you can imagine. It will all be more than worth the temporary struggles. You are on track now and moving forward. Don't give up an inch of that hard fought for ground. It WILL get easier all the time. Wear that pride on your sleeve because others need to know what a great thing you have done for yourself  

Here's the post I was referring to:

I smoked roughly 25 cigs a day which consumed approx. 7 minutes each one. That's 3 hours a day just smoking. Whether it's work breaks or personal time - you've got more of it now. You need to find productive ways to fill that void and you will. It seemed to just happen naturally to me - no plan and no strategy. It just got filled with other, healthier things.

There's a post around here somewhere called "Filling The Pages"; or something like that and it speaks to this issue exactly  

Ouuuu ..... I'll have the blue one please 

First job I ever had was on a line, assembling TV's At first I was they person bolting the transformer onto the TV chassis then graduated to filling in spots on the line for bathroom breaks.That was a long time ago and to this day I remember spinning those 4 nuts onto 4 bolts as the line moved on relentlessly. Yeah, I know exactly what you're saying about time to think. Direct those thoughts toward the benefits you'll be enjoying from quitting. Better health, more $$ to spend on things you want, not smelling like a stale ashtray, feeling proud of yourself for knowing what you can do in quitting the smokes. The list goes on an on. 

I have a similar story as well with my father. Smoked right through the funeral and for years afterward. My dad was openly advocating for all his kids to stop smoking years before he died but none of us did of course. I know he's be proud that both myself and my brother did eventually quit.

Even though you didn't quit while your dad was here to see it, it will still be a very special part of quitting to you .... knowing how proud your loving dad would be  

Thanks for letting us know what's going on in your life Hellkat. We do worry when we don't hear from people that we feel a connection with. Sorry to hear your work is jerking you around, or at least was. Hopefully that has been resolved to your benefit now. Glad you are still quit as well. You have a lot on your plate so it's amazing that you have been able to do such a great job with your quit at the same time - coming up 2 months now on Monday   Now there's something to celebrate!

Yes, I also have thought of you often since you told your story to us Richard. Hope you are doing OK. We are here should you need some support.

Just my thoughts for you here about the wig thing .....................

My neighbor has lung cancer and has been in treatments for the past year. She wears a wig when she goes out and I have had interactions with her both with and without her wig on. I prefer to see her without it because to me it represents the courage she has in fighting her cancer with tenacity and complete dignity. I do understand wanting a wig for when one goes out in general public when you are exposed to people you don't know or have any connection with but, I think that maybe those who know you and what you are going through might have a very different perspective. I know it inspires me when I see her in her natural state.

Gutted to read of the passing of your wife Richard. My deepest sympathies to you for your loss. Thank you for having the courage to share this with others. I'm sure your motivation is to make even just 1 person think twice about quitting. Thank you for that. I know it can't be easy to do that.

Are you still quit or not Michelle?

1 hour ago, BKP said:

"...no more Michelle Bashing, for that will not help"

 

And the support and encouragement has worked really great, right?

 

You are in deep denial my friend.  You don't even come out and say "I smoked".  Instead you talk in some abstract terms about your junkie thinking telling you to have one.  I had to read your post twice to figure out that you actually relapsed.  Again.  

 

I, for one, am going to put you on "ignore" because I think that's exactly what you are doing with the advice you are getting here.  Hope you figure this all out.  You don't know what you're missing.

It's frustrating isn't it .... when we KNOW what it's like to be free of all that slavery to a killer addiction?

The power to get out of that hellish cycle of withdrawal is completely and only in your hands @MichelleDoesntSmokeAnymore

Until you do what you already know you have to do, nothing will change. Quitting smoking is one of a very few things in this life that is completely within your control. When you finally decide to exercise that control, you will be free!

You seem to have thought this all through and know what you are doing as well as what you have to do in order to break free of being a slave to this addiction so I have no words of wisdom to add other than to say that living for a prolonged period of time in this constant state of early withdrawal is not the way anyone should live. You are in fact making things worse for yourself. Wouldn't it be so much easier to bite the bullet for a few ugly days, get by the worst of it and start healing?  I really hope you find your key to maintaining your commitment to quit over a period of time that lasts for more then just a few days because in the end, that is what's required for any of us that want to quit.

Any quit is a good quit Michelle. The only thing you need to do is stop putting cigarettes in your mouth and lighting them - NOPE, that's it!

Distractions are good!

The worst that your addiction to nicotine can throw at you when you quit will not harm you permanently, only cause you disruption and mental anguish temporarily. The effects of smoking can and probably will harm you permanently or even worse. Keep this in mind when you think you "need" a smoke. The reality is .... you "need" to quit!