Jump to content

Leaderboard

Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation since 11/28/21 in Blog Comments

  1. Thanks for bumping this, @jillar. Now that I'm well beyond the chemical withdrawal phase of my quit, I'm noticing that my actual urges to smoke have not gone away. They are more manageable - and I have a stronger toolkit for coping with them. But The deep desire/urge to smoke persists. This post points to part of why. One factor that contributed to my smoking was trying to numb-out and evade some inner conflicts (and some outer ones, too). Another was unmet needs. Now that I've quit smoking, I'm called into a deeper reckoning with these forces in my life. Ouch. I believe that denial is "nature's shock absorber." It serves a purpose in our psyche, and shouldn't be entirely avoided. I used smoking to serve this purpose, but quitting does not mean I have to be relentlessly hammered with discomfort. Talk about a disincentive to keep the quit! All it means is that I need to come up with some different ways to take a break or shift my energies when needed... ways that don't entail sticking something toxic in my mouth and setting it on fire. As @Boo has said elsewhere on the forum (and I'm paraphrasing), there are 999 things I can do with this moment, and just one thing I can't do - smoke. Here's to focusing on the 999.
    5 points
  2. This is, perhaps, an odd one: Not rattling as I walk down a hiking/birding trail. I used to always keep a hardpack of smokes in the right leg pocket of my cargo pants. Because the pack was usually half-gone, it used to rattle with every step I took. In the same pocket, also used to carry a black rubber film cannister for my butts, so that I didn't leave them lying around on trail. And of course they rattled, too. I now see so much wrong with this picture: being fastidious about not leaving butts on the ground while totally ignoring the smoke I put inside me... being literally a walking ashtray. Rattle. Rattle. Rattle. Nope, not this year! I look forward to hearing what the world sounds like.
    5 points
  3. This is a GREAT post that so vividly captures the pain of relapse. So many of us suffered through this: “And all the pressure that drove you to grab that cigarette in the first place - it's all still there. Nothing has changed, except now you've added one more problem: you just blew it.” Lost in the wilderness indeed, but the Quit Train can be a rope that pulls us out of the quicksand. NOPE
    4 points
  4. Well said. Thanks for these important words @johnny5 and thanks for the bump @jillar. For years I thought that I was making a free choice to smoke. But my dependence was much deeper than that - chemical, emotional, ritual. I cannot be a casual smoker because I, too, am an addict. I know this because I exhibited many of the classic signs of addiction: I kept smoking even though it made me feel terrible and was harming my health. Whenever nicotine ran low in my system, I would get agitated and jittery. The only thing that really mattered to me in those moments was getting my next fix. I made irrational decisions about smoking. Like spending money on smokes even when money was frightfully tight and I was having a hard time making ends meet. Or going outside in hurricane-force winds to smoke, even though it was stupidly dangerous to do so. I isolated myself from friends and family, prioritizing my drug (nicotine) over those family relationships. I was not always truthful about how much I had smoked. Every time I tried to set limits or ration my smoking, I would inevitably revert to my baseline use. "Just one" would turn into "just one more" would turn into "Well, I've already blown it for today so I'll cut back tomorrow" would turn into a pack or more a day. Breaking free of this bondage is a real gift of quitting. The addiction is part of me, lurking on the sidelines, able to be reactivated if I smoke even one. So I stay vigilant and say NOPE - Not One Puff Ever - to stay free.
    4 points
  5. Great post! I recall a post explaining triggers which I'll try to paraphrase in case it helps someone as much as it helped me. There are 3 kinds of triggers - - Daily triggers. These happen daily e.g. coffee, lunch, in the car driving to work, returning from work, etc. When we quit smoking, these are the triggers that we tackle first and overcome within the first few days. Having overcome these, we start to feel confident ...not realizing there are other triggers waiting to trip us. - Occasional triggers. As the name suggests, they happen occasionally e.g. vacation - drive, flight, visiting family or friends, social activities like bar, dance etc. Generally, these are events that happen a few times a year but not daily. These are dangerous because they surprise us just as we're feeling confident. If we're not prepared, we can lose the quit to these occasional triggers even after staying quit 3,4 or 6 months. - Life event triggers. These only happen a few times in our lives e.g. losing a job or a loved one or a break up. Again, smoking doesn't help with anything but the trigger catches us at a moment when we are vulnerable and may not be acting rationally and can result in losing a quit. For me, it helped to understand the concept ahead of time - that after overcoming the initial daily triggers, there will come other triggers and they will tend to catch you by surprise and unprepared. A bit of thinking and preparing ahead of time helped so that when the time came, it was possible to fight and kill the trigger. It's all in the head after all and I had my own game that I played in the head to kill triggers. I visualized hitting the trigger with a hammer and shouting "Die trigger die". A couple of times I may have shouted aloud getting a few strange stares ... but it worked ... and that's all that matters.
    4 points
  6. "....I do not want to forfeit my life to submission & servitude..." Amen. Thanks for the reinforcement.
    4 points
  7. 4 points
  8. @jillar Thanks for sharing your story with us. So sorry for your struggles!! Also for all you do here and the support and kindness to all on the train.❤
    4 points
  9. I will be thankful that when I have run errands I will not have to open the car window to let the smoke out. I will really enjoy keeping the air condition on full blast. I will arrive at my destination sweat and smoke smell free. I will finally get to be one of "those people" when asked, may I smoke? I can say "yes you may if you enjoy a good walk".
    4 points
  10. Thank you ladies for sharing your very meaningful stories. Doreen my heart goes out to you. This addiction is just so so awful.
    3 points
  11. Loving to read, read, read. Can't string a thought together....20 hours free. Yay .
    3 points
  12. Thanks for the post @jillar. I keep telling myself this time will come, so it's good to have reinforcement. Having crossed the 8-month mark I can go hours without thinking about smoking. But I'm praying that eventually that turns into days, weeks, months... Hoping and NOPE-ing till then.
    3 points
  13. Thanks for bumping this @jillar. It nicely captures the torture of what happens in the quitting-not-quitting trap. The fallacy of “I’ll just quit again” or “I’ll only smoke a couple” is right there.
    3 points
  14. Wow just Wow.....what a great and encouraging post wow.
    3 points
  15. Good to see you too! And congratulations!!! I can only agree with you. I got a very important boost of self confidence by quiting and thanks to it tried other things and went through important life changes. Do not regret any of it!!! I love to remember it, thank you!!!
    3 points
  16. "Quitting is not for everyone." That is only true if you give in to the addiction. ANYONE can quit smoking if they put in the effort and the self discipline needed.......
    3 points
  17. Thanks for bumping this @jillar. I, too, have swallowed all of these lies hook, line and sinker. Plus the biggest lie of all… that smoking is “gratifying.” LIE. What actually happened for me was that smoking triggered a craving for more nicotine, which created a craving for even more nicotine, repeated on an endless loop. No matter how much I smoked, it was never “enough.” Although I haven’t yet reached the place where being smoke-free feels completely joyful, I am certainly grateful that nicotine is no longer my puppet master.
    3 points
  18. Oh how I will just enjoy opening up my windows and breathing in some clean fresh air. And I must add that I will be able to really breath much easier and actually be able to smell those roses this time around
    3 points
  19. Great post and oh so true. Like spring is the new beginning of freedom. I can think of this season as the blossoming of my forever quit.
    3 points
  20. So appreciate this, @jillar. Sometimes quitting seems like mortal combat, a desperate struggle. But reading this helps me have faith that the Train is taking me to freedom and peace. Ease is just around the corner. I'm gonna focus on that idea today!
    3 points
  21. THIS! ^ The gift of today! Thankful!
    3 points
  22. @jillar I know that you would have quit if you had known you were in trouble. It is a great thing that insurance will now cover chest cat scan as part of a yearly physically. I would not have quit without that test. Some how we have got to make sure the younger members of not just the board but society realize that their health is gong to suffer if they continue to smoke. The sooner they quit it will be easier to do and may prevent issues with their health when they get older. Most of us knew that smoking could lead to health issues but we continued to do it, not to listen. Now many of us face things that we made possible. There is no one to blame, we put those things in our mouths and set them on fire, inhaled the fumes like liquid gold. Are any of us richer by making that decision. No, we are facing the fact we let some money hungry corporations take not only our money but our health. We can not change it now but we can try to help the generations that come after us. It is happening but too slowly. Now they have decided a new way to get rich off the younger generations, vaping. It is just another way to promote addiction to fill the corporate pockets. Another way to destroy the health and lives of our young people. They want us to think that it is a safe way to smoke. No, I have not done all the research, just coming from an old time nicotine addict who has finally seen the light.
    3 points
  23. I’m looking forward to actually noticing and enjoying that spring has come this year. As my quit date was March 17th I hardly noticed anything but my suffering last spring. I was a mental wreck!
    3 points
  24. In another month (April) I will be able to purchase a new recliner for my living room with money I have saved this month so far. And with money saved next month I will be able to get the 500 dollar recliner on sale for 350 dollars. Feels so good to actually not be broke before the end of the month.
    3 points
  25. I remember reading this during the initial days of my quit almost 3 years ago. It helped me identify what I was going through and reinforced what would be waiting for me on the other side. I’ll ever be thankful for all of the reading material and video links available on the QuitTrain.
    2 points
  26. ”Take control of your life, reclaim your mind and body, and get it straight about who owns you. Is it you? Or your addiction?” “You can't fix a cigarette crave with a cigarette.” ^^^ True that!! Perpetually chasing the cravings (which can never be truly satisfied) is exhausting and futile. Freedom from the bondage of nicotine is beautiful.
    2 points
  27. A great video to save and watch periodically to remind us to stay vigilant in guarding our quits. Life is stressful. Over time out hearts soften the harsh realities of our addiction. We forget that we are addicts. We quit smoking for a year, two, or more and believe that we are bullet proof and that we can’t fall and that is precisely when we start slipping. Thanks @jillar!
    2 points
  28. ^ ^ So true!! I quit more than 18 months ago and I can tell my brain is not fully healed yet. It is happening, but slowly. The “deceiving allure” still calls me. Well NOPE on that! Gonna face forward, no going back.
    2 points
  29. Ahhhh…..BROKEN CHAINS
    2 points
  30. Yep, me too. I put smoking above friends and family in this same way. Addiction does this.
    2 points
  31. Posting this forward .. Keep your quit for your partner ..watching is so hard If your on the fence ..i hope this help you make that leap .. Tony sadly passed away 4 years ago .. Nothing good comes out of smoking..xx
    2 points
  32. Never going back to being a slave to nicotine. Done with it!
    2 points
  33. Ditto for me AND…
    2 points
  34. Such a great story, thanks for the bump. Needed this reminder today: “….The only thing I got from it was emptiness…”
    2 points
  35. thanks to those who write , so we may read.
    2 points
  36. Need to tattoo this on my forehead: “…smoking is a lie and it never was the answer to any of life's problems…”
    2 points
  37. Yes! Such a silver lining to quitting. No more planning my flight itineraries around which airports had smoking lounges (back in the day) or which airlines had available seats in the smoking section (WAY back in the day). More recently, no more mad dashes to the airport gate because my trip outside to the curb for a smoking fix took too long. No more wanting to claw my eyeballs out due to nicotine deprivation on cross country flights. As @reciprocity said recently, traveling is truly simpler and less stressful (and much less stinky) as a nonsmoker.
    2 points
  38. Yes - thank you @jillar ... very good post, these wise words really jumped out at me. "Don’t look at success being distant and far away , look at success as being now : today." This is where I was for the first three or four days of my quit, until I knew I had defeated the (big monster) Alan Carrs description. "FOCUSING on the journey to SUCCEED ." Since that time, this is where I have been and am today.
    2 points
  39. Today I made my first purchase as an ex-smoker, I got a new purse. It is special to me because I could choose the purse that is too small to fit in a pack of cigarettes.
    2 points
  40. The OP makes alot of sense. For me one day at a time and the daily NOPE is the only thing that keeps me going at this early stage in my quit. At this point if I think too far ahead, panic sets in. So for now I will stay with what has worked best for me and stick with that. Right now I will continue to get by with daily NOPES and continue one day at a time.
    2 points
  41. Thank you to all of you. I must admit I might look funny volunteering at the senior center as I am one. I have been meaning to join just to spend time with others. I know it would be a great social place to meet others and not feel so alone. I do know I need therapy to get in a better state of mind. It is not healthy to be alone and fearful all the time.
    2 points
This leaderboard is set to New York/GMT-04:00

About us

QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

Our Message Board Guidelines

Get in touch

Follow us

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Guidelines

Please Sign In or Sign Up