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G’day NOPE starts today C

#NOPE

'a Journey' is the philosophical way of looking at it. 'Shitty, empowering and highly challenging' is what I'd rather call it. If there's one thing I know after 145 days of being smoke free, it's that I. WILL. NEVER. EVER. PUT. MYSELF.THROUGH. THIS. CRAP. EVER. AGAIN. Crystal clear motivation. Quitting has had an effect on my relationships, my work, my daily rhytm, my everything. It's like I am reinventing myself, but not in a gradual, beautiful way. At some point the caterpillar seemed to evolve in something completely different than a colourful butterfly... The dust is still settling. I've come to some pretty sad but strengthening conclusions: I am capable of mourning and going to a funeral of someone I hold dear and not smoke. I can find myself in the middle of relationship crisis and still stand my ground. I found some consolation in staying true to myself, regarding my quit. I can deal with heavy panick attacks and remain without cigarettes . Anxiety seems to be diminishing by the way, but since that would be a glorious hallelujah and I am so afraid of disappointing myself with hope, for now I won't be focussing on that (but yeah. It is actually less of a daily base problem. Hoooly cow. Aaahhhhhh. Imagine if that pattern persists. I would get back part of my life). I discovered that I'm pretty much through with my job but I have to endure untill I find something else. Realisation of missing out on proper grown-up education hits harder than ever, now that I'm unable to dull these thoughts. But there's a tiny glimpse of something new: 'if I can do this, I may be capable of so much more'. Shitting seven colours... but looking in to re-educating. I am learning to dance my waltz with time. If quitting does one thing, it's messing with perspective. Since one month or so, I feel like I am regaining 3D view again. I am able to see depth once more and I am learning to be here now, without losing my horison. Next week will mark five months for me. I have many reasons to continue like I do. But one thought is most empowering: it's all in my hands!

NOPE.... Is it the 25th th already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just had to check...it's the 15th ?

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Nope, Thought for the day: What you resist, persists. What you accept, transforms. I accept I am an addict, and I work towards transforming myself every day.

NOPE.... it stinks!!!

This is the smile of a nicotine free 6 day old !! for some reason my screen is dark can barely see what I am writing. sorry ?

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#NOPE

@Linda ThomasI was imagining you at the hospital with your parents, which got me to thinking how smoking enabled me to remove myself from situations or people. I had to go outside for a smoke. Now, I just get to go outside and away from the cray to center myself and have nice breaths of oxygen. The smokey part is unnecessary but, taking a break with yourself is very necessary. So, take breaks by yourself. Go wash your face. Take the stairs up or down to work off some anxiety. Find a secret waiting room. They have a chapel. Take care of yourself.

"Never, never on a Monday...." I won't smoke today.

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G’day Not One Puff Ever C

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Linda, sorry about your dad and the stress you are dealing with right now. In the time that you have been here, you've shown yourself to be strong and resilient. That helps a lot.

That’s some mighty fine self reflection MLMR, very encouraging. I, too, used the agony of quitting as motivation to stay quit. Hell no I’m never going through that again!!! Sound’s like you conquered some pretty big life stressors without smoking. That’s a big deal! Carry on...

I know this was an epiphany for me in my quit, The honesty that I showed myself in quitting, continues in every part of my life. I can trust myself and I am capable of anything I choose to do. After quitting the addiction, everything else is small potatoes, really. and, like you The victory is well earned and the benefits continue.

GREAT post MLMR, and you can bet it still will get better and better with time

You Don't Smoke Anymore.? With a resounding NOPE he replied ! I Do Not Smoke ! and it feels good, it is a Challange. We all face challenges in our lifes, its the way we face them that make the difference. just like this Kid, he;s been dueling with his Challemge all his life !

Hey you Guys ! The aventure continues, 6 days nicotine free

Superman

Absolutely made up with how my quit is moving along. Doing dry January, doing plenty of exercise and watching plenty of films and a little reading. All helping. Every time I get a small urge, because that's all they've been so far, I weigh that one little urge in time up against the time smoking has not even entered my mind and I feel empowered. Onwards and upwards people.

I get sad whenever I read about someone that relapses after rocking an awesome quit for weeks or months. I quit smoking 290 days ago and I'm extremely confident I'll never smoke again. Things were a little different on day 142 though. That's the day I almost smoked a cigarette..... Quote Day 142. I have been romanticizing the cigarette for about a week now. I've been daydreaming about the simple joy of holding a cigarette between my fingers, the wonderful tobacco smell of a freshly opened pack, and the feeling of euphoria when taking that first drag. Mmmm....just thinking about it makes my pulse quicken in glorious anticipation. W. T. F. This is day 142! I'm "this close" to 5 months. 6 months (HALF A YEAR!) is within spitting distance. How the hell could I let myself get so damn complacent that I'm having thoughts like this? For the most part, my quit has been on auto-pilot for the last couple of months. I stopped actively "quitting" a long time ago. I didn't feel the need, or desire, to spend hours a day reading/posting about nicotine addiction like I did the first several weeks of my quit. I've lost my motivation and I'm tired of fighting. THAT right there scares the crap out of me. I do NOT want to be a smoker again. I will NOT be a smoker again. I REFUSE to be a smoker again. It is time to fix this thing and get my head back in this quit. During the early days of a new quit everything is so exciting. You are doing a Good Thing and it's AWESOME! YOU are AWESOME! Loved ones shower you with praise! Strangers on the internet tell you how wonderful you are! You can suddenly smell and taste All The Things! People at work give you high fives and fist bumps! There are parades in your honor! The mayor gives you the key to the city! TMZ hounds you for an interview! Life is FREAKING AMAZING!!! And then, a few weeks or months later…..things change. Family and friends begin treating you the way they did before you quit. No more high fives. No more fist bumps. No one asks about your quit anymore. Even the paparazzi stop following you around. This “thing” (your quit) isn't fun anymore. Yeah, it’s gotten a lot easier to not smoke but you still sometimes get cravings from hell and you are SO TIRED of fighting. So tired. You feel lonely. You start to hear whispers in your head. It's a voice you thought you silenced a while ago. “Why don’t you just smoke one? It will taste and feel so good. You know you can quit anytime you want.” (My Inner Junkie has a seductive bedroom voice like Barry White and looks like a more sinister version of Wile E. Coyote. Stop judging me!) Relapse was a very real option for me on day 142 (I'm on day 290 now). I am VERY thankful that I turned things around before it was too late. Some folks don’t. They smoke a cigarette and then a beautiful quit is lost…up in smoke. I am only posting this to remind everyone, myself included, that we can never let our guards down. I KNOW why I got close to relapse. The reasons are as plain as day to me now: 1. I stopped educating myself about my addiction. 2. I greatly decreased the time I spent on this site because I didn't think I needed a support group any longer. 3. I let a small seed of negative thought (daydreaming of smoking a cigarette) grow until it became a Really Bad Thing. 4. I fooled myself into thinking I wasn't an addict any more. What did I do to get my quit back on track? 1. I re-read all the newbie info here and at whyquit.com 2. I read Allen Carr’s book. (I read a little bit each day over the course of a couple of months. It was a good daily dose of inspiration.) 3. I recommitted to spending time on this site reading and helping out where I could. 4. I admitted to myself that I was always going to be an addict. I can NEVER become complacent again. 5. I stopped random smoking thoughts IMMEDIATELY whenever I realized what I was thinking about. Have you come close to relapsing? What did you do to avoid it? Have you relapsed after a weeks or months long quit? If so, why did it happen and what are you doing now to make sure it doesn't happen again?

And it starts April 14th ? ?

You are doing great, MLMR!

Oh, dear one. Remember to breathe and protect yourself. You have stars in your crown. These trials are bound to bring up ambivalent feelings, none of your feelings make you a bad person or a weak one. You are just a beautiful human. We love you so much. S

Yes... #forthethrone

So sorry to hear about your dad Linda. Try and get some sleep. Sounds like you are gonna have a busy day tomorrow. Prayers for your family.