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FAb, you are in No Man's Land. All the shiny new has worn off your quit, and now it is just plain old boring work. But the reward and riches are still there at the end! Keep going...it is so worth it! And don't let the addiction fool you into staying away from the board or into thinking that smoking does anything positive for you. All that is a pack of lies! You can do this! I hope you are rewarding yourself at each and every milestone.

I'm on day 79 Fab, I know what you are going through. We need to beat this. WE can do this.

Having support during a quit (quit buddy, forums such as this, etc.) is great, but give yourself some credit. Regardless of how much support we surround ourselves with, those moments where the quit is tested and built are largely a solitary endeavor. In eighty-one days, there have no doubt been times when it would have been easy to simply light up and feed the beast, but you didn't. You faced down your addiction and chose wisely. You did that. No one else did it for you, you did it. You've done a great job, have some faith in yourself. Feeling lost and actually being lost are not one-in-the-same. You have laid the foundation for a solid quit, you're right where you need to be. As for the worries about losing your quit, quits don't simply get lost; we decide to hold on or throw it away. There's no point worrying about a situation that you have 100% control of. Stay committed to the quit and your quit is not going anywhere. Stay strong and always choose freedom.

What Beazel said. ^^^ Hoping you wake up in the morning feeling better, with your resolve back, and knowing that today was just the addiction trying once again to get its tentacles in you.

So many of us understand what you are going through. Staying away from the board is not a good idea....at all. Come here and talk about your daily struggles. I once started a thread titled "Am I Different" because everyone else sounded like they were confident & had it so together. The responses I got made all the difference. I guess misery loves company, Turns out all those people that I thought were breezing through, were having just as much of a hard time as I was. Some folks didn't want to focus on it so they didn't talk about it on the board as much as I did. Fake it till you make it is what many said they were doing. You can do this....we can help!!!!!

And smoking is not your buddy wanting to comfort you and make you feel better. It is a deadly addiction that is trying to kill you!

Yay its Saturday. The kid has a softball grand final today.. Her first one ever... So let's all say NOPE and wish her luck.( hehehe). NOPE... Its not softball but baseball, wots the difference I hear the Brits ask.. Softballers have bigger balls. Have a happy NOPE Satdee

I feel your pain, Fab. I've been in that spot more times than I can remember. What I noticed reading this thread is that the thing so many people are suggesting is the very thing you've just done by starting this thread. You did post when you were having trouble and I hope the responses helped and that tomorrow morning when you look back at all this, you'll be in an even stronger place. 'Cause that's what these crises do. Every time you triumph, your quit gets stronger. I remember thinking during the hard times, "This is how I build a solid quit- by breaking through the craves, the deprived feeling, the depression. The only way to kill it is to not feed the monster."

I'm sorry you're having a bad day fab, I had lots of them too in my early days. Losing our board was very hard but it's not worth losing your quit over. A lot of our people have found this place and new friends have been made here. Hopefully your quit buddy will find us too. Quittrain comes up first now in searches and seeing a bunch of familiar names may help them find their way. Have a good sleep and be proud of yourself for posting and getting it off your chest. I'm hoping your tomorrow is better

NOPE

Gday NOPE and wishing her luck C

Good luck to the kid!! ...and NOPE!

That was the lesson learned Berry, I believed that after long enough the addiction was lost and set out to prove that. it amazed me how fast receptors turned back on and old programs I thought were long dead and gone started replaying. I do not want to be a smoker and now have excepted there is no in between I am or I am not a non- smoker. I choose to not be a smoker, I choose health and longevity, I choose to be a active part in my Grand children's lives , no wheezing and huffing and puffing. We are going to run, play, fish and hunt for years to come.

Fab, Like everyone else, I have been there. The thoughts of why did I go through this, I'm not happy. I feel deprived, left out, not quite satisfied with anything. And no more pats on the back to sustain me. Yep. No man's land. I like to look at it this way: your addiction is having it's last tantrum to try and lure you back. It's desperate now, because you are winning. It is a last ditch effort to not lose you to the world of non smokers. You have come so far, and your addiction is losing. Stay up on your physical needs, and don't forget to congratulate yourself now and again. And throw in some small rewards as well. This is the last difficult leg of a "Rest of your life journey. I have almost three and a half years now, and I really never ever consider needing one, wanting one, or let alone missing one. You will get there too if you hold strong. Just sayin, Gon

Please know that many are here to cheer you on, Fab. Stay close, you will power through this. Nancy just posted a great post here and here is another post that includes some of our experiences about No Man's Land.

Your "friends" are right here Fab You have received wonderful advice from your true friends here. I also agree that you should stick close to here especially when you struggle. We have all been there Fab. Some of us at different points in our quit but we ALL struggle with the same feelings you are having. You have put in so much hard work to this point. This horrible addiction will try every last trick in the book to lure you back but it gets weaker and weaker all the time. Stay the course my friend ...... stay the course Hope you feel better in the morning.

This is exactly what I would have said. Don't be fooled.... Nico is trying to get you back... one last ditch attempt to get you back to the dark side. Don't fall for it. You are doing something amazing and if you need reinforcement which it sounds like you do.. come here. We will tell you how amazing you are for WINNING. Keep on keepin on.

NOPE

NOPE!

Wot Lin and Beazel said. Ditto. Keep close to the board buddy post an SOS if you feel unsteady.

Thanks guys I think I might get an early night tonight as weegie said. Night all.

Hi Fab, sorry you're not having a great time of it. But you are doing amazing to be at 81 days! If you are struggling a bit id suggest staying close to the board... we are all in the same boat and helping each other and keeping ourselves busy. You know smoking wont make you feel any better, it will only make you feel worse. So just stick with us, you are pushing for triple figures! I'm not too far ahead of you day 138. If im having a bad day I tend to just get an early night and pretty much every time wake up the next day and back to feeling good again. You've got to have the odd bad day to appreciate the good days I hope you feel better real soon xxx

Day 138 NOPE

Nope! Definitely not on a Friday!

NOPE!!!

NOPE

NOPE - Have an awesome, smoke-free Friday, everybody.

No Man's Land. Repost for jhhawaii By tahoehal on May 13 2008 at 5:54 pm 77, Male Las Vegas NV, United States Member Since: September 01 2004 « Previous Entry Next Entry » I seldom start a post, unless it is to honor someone's anniversary. But I feel compelled to share something that I seem to be sharing a lot of lately... and that is my thoughts on 'No Man's Land'. No Man's Land is a dangerous and scary place... and it is a lonely time during a quit. I call No Man's Land that period of time between about 1 month and 3 or 4 months into your quit, or about the time from the end of your first month.. This is a time when many people slip and go into a full relapse and have to start over... if they can start over, that is. I have some observations that may help some of you who are literally hanging on by your fingernails... or who may find yourself there tomorrow. The first month is an exhausting but exhilirating experience... you are locked in nearly daily struggles and you get the satisfaction of successfully beating your addiction that day. You go to bed a WINNER each night (as Troutnut would say), and you are justifiably proud of yourself. Your friends and family are also supportive as they see you struggling each day to maintain your quit. And you are being constantly supported here, whether or not you post... just being here is good for your quit. And so, the battles are won and it actually becomes easier and the battles occur less often as you finish 30 days or so. Around 60 days, you're starting to have some really good days, with very few craves and some nice insights about yourself... but then again, you still have some bad days. Those bad days can really be depressing... you begin to wonder if you're ever gonna be able to relax. Your junkie is whispering to you, telling you that 'just one' won't hurt. You've conquered your daily triggers, but now you start trippiing over the occasional ones... a death in the family, unexpectedly bad news, money problems, health problems, going on a long car ride, a trip to the bar, or whatever. You have a strong crave and you begin to doubt your ability to keep your quit. In addition, the 3D support that you used to get is pretty much gone... non-smokers figure you should be 'over it' by now, smokers don't like to hang around you much because they feel guilty and addicted (remember that feeling?), and people who have quit may not remember just how much love and support you need well into the first few months. They all think you should be 'over it', you think you should be 'over it'... and the temptation is to have 'just one' to see if you ARE over it. But of course you're not over it, are you? That 'just one' whisper becomes much much louder and becomes 'just one more'... and each time you give in to that whisper, the craves come harder and sooner. The one way to guarantee that your craves will never go away is to light up, to slide that old cigarette needle into your arm and shoot up. Those craves will be back and keep coming back. But if you protect your quit, your craves will eventually weaken and become even fewer and farther between. As you get to around 100 days or so (some will be a bit longer)... you will begin to really get a healthy perspective on your addiction. You will see the huge role that smoking played in your life, you will see clearly what that addiction really cost you. And you will understand that it was a very high price to pay... the loss of your confidence, your emotions, your self-control... your SELF. All enslaved to your addiction. And you will begin to see that you can look forward to a non-smoking future without romanticizing your addiction. You see it clearly for the life-stealing evil it was... and is. You see a much different future for yourself than your past has been. And it no longer scares the crap out of you to think that you are done smoking... in fact, you embrace that thought with joy every day. But you have to get out of No Man's Land first. How can you help yourself? And how can those of us who have been through it help you? First of all, you need to understand that you aren't alone. If you haven't already done so, make a pinky-finger promise with 2 or 3 good quitbuds and exchange phone numbers with them. Promise to call them if you're ever in trouble, and make them promise the same. These are your 'life and death' quitbuddies... you are literally trusting each other with your lives. Then call them... often. Just to see how they are doing, and to tell them you're doing well too. Be totally honest with them, this is life and death. Second, understand that you're going to have some unexpectedly bad days... but they are going to be further apart. Shrug them off, laugh your way through them, call your quitbuddies... whatever it takes to get through them without smoking. Some battles will be easy, some will be hard. Come here and post, send qmail, exercise, learn to cook, take up a new hobby. Whatever it takes, keep going to bed a WINNER each night. Third, ask some of the older qsters to keep an eye on you... to contact you to see how you're doing. I have been asked to do that for several of you recently and I am happy to do that, as I am sure that others are too. We know that you just need to hold on a little bit longer and change your focus just a little to make that breakthrough. And then you will OWN your quit, and it will be a very comfortable thing. Last, take a deep and honest look at your past life... your life as a smoker and compare it to what your life is like now... and what it will be like in the future. You have to develop that vision of your future, of the person that you are going to BECOME now that you have freed yourself. You have to believe in yourself. You have to love yourself enough to deny yourself your addiction. No Man's Land doesn't have to be so lonely and scary and dangerous. You need some company and some courage and some faith in yourself. And when you emerge from it, you will not be the same person that entered it. Never never never question your decision to quit! This is the most loving thing that you will ever do for yourself. A few days of discomfort in exchange for a lifetime of freedom. You will never find another deal like it. Protect your quit. Don't smoke, no matter what. Hal 08-20-2004 A puff is too much, a thousand cartons are not enough.

#NOPE

NOPE Going camping in Joshua Tree National Park this weekend. I prefer to breathe fresh air over deadly smoke any day.

NOPE

NOPE!

NOPE... And happy fridee one an all

i think australia and nz should be the 5th and 6th countries of the uk under the reign of Her Majesty the Queen (gawd bless her)maybe we should let the US rejoin the Brits the queens a more stable head of state than mr trump. Have I managed to upset everyone now or have I missed some of you ?

NOPE!!

Nope

NOPE!

Gday NOPE starts my day C

NOPE!

#NOPE

NOPE

This is a great post, Sslip. Your honesty is appreciated and will be extremely useful to others in the struggle. You are doing Great. Keep on the good foot. I remember thoughts about smoking or about not smoking nearly did my head in for months. MONTHS ! but, it didn't kill me. Screaming showers helped and a mantra out loud of , "FREE YOUR HEAD" (often 'free your fcuking head ') Addiction is madness. I can assure you that it will get better, of course, I can't tell you when...just that it DOES get better. Your brain will begin to accept that you don't smoke anymore, you will hardly notice when days, then weeks, then months go by and you are free of smokey thoughts. Someday, and it really won't be that long, you will reap many, many more rewards and smoking will be a vague memory, I promise. So, hang in there. Hang on by your fingernails if need be and power through. Don't ever doubt...YOU WILL WIN. You are still early in your quit...protect it with everything you've got and keep your eye on the prize. Keep posting, for your own sanity and you never know who is out there that needs to hear your words. NOPE NOPE and NOPE-ly yours, S

I can't add much that everyone else hasn't already said, Fab. No Man's Land is something that most (but not all) quitters seem to hit after the first few months and that seems to be what you are going through now. Nancy put it best in talking about how the shiny has been worn off your quit. She also put it best when she said that cigarette is not your friend but your enemy that wants to kill you. Losing the safety net of QSMB and your quit buddy definitely adds to your struggles but you are doing great. 81 days smoke free is huge. You should be very proud of that. Keep with it, Fab. You are a non-smoker now. You have no use whatsoever for a cigarette.

Nope.... Not gonna be a filthy fag hag...

Its POETS day here Piss Off Early Tomorrows Saterday.

Wow! 80-plus days without this so called ‘friend’. You know he’s not your buddy! Buddy’s don’t want to kill you, do they? Good idea to get in early. It might help to relax a bit more. Hang in there! Dutchess

Nope. Smoking is not an option.

Nope