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  1. On the eve of my 1 year quit anniversary I couldn't help be reflect on what brought me to this point. I remember 1 year ago today standing beside my car in the cold and damp, subconsciously reaching into the pocket of my coat for a cigarette. Like the thousands of others that had gone before it, I lit that smoke and took my first drag. I had just finished a coughing fit from the bronchitis I had for all of January 2017 and that first drag on the cigarette launched me into another coughing fit. Struggling to even take a breath after that, it finally dawned on me that what I was doing was completely insane!! That was the moment that literally changed my life. I knew I had to quit smoking! For whatever reason, this event had grabbed my attention. This time it was REAL. I suddenly knew I was no "special flower" who could escape the ugly fate that many years of smoking clearly had in store for me. The next morning at 8:30 AM with no real plan in mind, I had my last cigarette. The days that followed are a murky blur of what I perceived to be at the time, unwelcome feelings and sensations, as my body purged itself of the drug that had been present on a daily basis for over 4 decades. The highs and lows of that first week or so are indescribable to me now. I wish I had kept a blog of it all. I remember feeling like I wanted to crawl out of my own skin at times the anxiety was so pronounced. And the time ....... God Dammit!! Time was standing still! I was trapped in a never ending series of mental and physical withdrawals. I was unsure as to what was happening to me. I was even more unsure whether I could weather this storm I was caught up in. After a week or so of this crazy roller coaster ride, I found this place and signed up. I was welcomed, as all of you have been and was given the first glimmer of hope through the encouragement that others were extending to me. This was good! I started to read and read and read all the pinned posts and a lot of other posts. I watched numerous videos about quitting. This was the perfect distraction for me while my body and mind rebelled against the path I had chosen to take. I was on this site sometimes almost 24/7 it seemed. Sleep patterns were interrupted to say the least so here I was on the site at ungodly hours of my day and night sometimes. Everything I read from these people who had gone before me sounded the same! It was like a broken record, repeating itself over and over. Pledge your NOPE every day. Take smoking off the table. Watch out for the Nicodemon because he will attack you at your weakest moments and try to lure you back to smoking. Every battle you do with the Nicodemon, you get stronger and he gets weaker. This all sounded like some sort of cult like lingo to me. Could I take this seriously? Dare I believe them all? I read some more. I read how the people before them had been telling them the same things. I was ultimately convinced and decided that I too had to abide by the same critical rules if I had any hope of being successful. Blind faith had overcome me and I was all in! From that point onward, I read and read about every phase of my quit. What had others experienced when they were at the stage I was at? 1st month, second through 3rd and fourth months when I was in No Man's Land. What had others experienced and how did they cope? This was what became my guiding light through to the time I finally became aware that I would never smoke again. I would never smoke again by my own free choice because I now knew what smoking really was. It was an addiction. It was my enemy - trying to kill me. It was certainly NOT my friend. And in the end, it's my belief that this is the point one has to reach in order to know you will be permanently quit. You need to be able to gladly choose not to smoke. So on the eve of my 1 year quit anniversary, I don't feel a lot different than what I felt after probably 5 or 6 months quit but, this 1 year landmark is still a very special one because I have weathered the storm through all the 4 seasons and experienced all the temptations I can imagine and I know that providing I just don't ever put another cigarette in my mouth and light it on fire, I will be permanently quit I sincerely hope to be still around and able to help each and every one of you newbies celebrate your own 1 year anniversary celebration (Sorry for the long winded post but ......... I've earned the right to be annoying )
    24 points
  2. I smoked my last few cigarettes sitting on my back step ,crying I was given a ultimatum... Smoke or face amputation... I was devastated... All my other attempts to quit has failed...but...I had to try something... I was so desperate to succeed.. Tony had already been diagnosed with emphysema... And I still smoked...because I believed I couldn't quit... I had been given a old battered I pad to play about on,as I was not savvy...I decided to Google anything on the internet,that may give me some help I desperately needed.. I can across a forum...thought what have I got to lose ...somehow I managed to sign in ....and watch and listen.... A kind lady ...sent me a message today hello ...I explained to her I couldn't give me a name a ticker nothing...this lady took me under her wing ,set me up and running...I will always be in Nancy,s debt...my fairy godmother... It was a while before I posted I just watch and learned...I didn't sleep at all for a few weeks I read instead.... I Did my Daily NOPE...the days turned into weeks then into months...there was plenty of up and downs ,but I knew I had to plough on ,and as I was assured my those with more quit ..it would pass.... I was so proud to reach the Lido Deck....and I still feel that sense of pride ,4 yrs later.. Joining a forum ,posting ,making friends ,has made the difference to my having another failed quit ..to my success.. I have also been taught some niffty PC skills... I love being smoke free...and all the folks who follow me ,I want them to feel it too I wish to Thank Everyone who has sat on the train...newbies not so newbies ..oldies... You have helped me continue on my journey ..and I hope i have helped you in yours.. And all the folks who jump on the train in the future... You can do it...I did !!!! Xxxx
    24 points
  3. Subtitle: The Romance Is Dead! This is the time of year when many people quit smoking. Most especially, people who quit before but relapsed are trying again. I think that is wonderful (that they're coming back, not that they relapsed). Reading their posts has made me realize that in very many cases, people relapse because they are still romancing the cigarette. That means that they still WANT to smoke even though they know that smoking does nothing good for them. They still remember those quietly satisfying evenings on the deck smoking. They remember that a-a-a-h-h-h! of satisfaction with the first long draw on a cigarette. And they want that again. And so even if they are weeks or months into a quit-- even though the PHYSICAL addiction is long gone-- they essentially choose to go back to smoking because of the pull of these romantic fantasies about how good smoking was. Well, I was the poster child for romancing the cigarette. Throughout this quit and all my previous quits (of which there were several) I always wanted to smoke. I didn't smoke-- I controlled myself-- but I wanted to smoke. All the time. Almost every day. It seemed to me that after 4 or 5 months quit, almost everybody on the board was way done with smoking and happy about it. I still missed it. And that was frustrating because my rational brain KNEW that the "pleasure" of smoking was vastly over rated and mostly imaginary. I KNEW that I was romancing the cigarette and I really did not want to go back to smoking. But the seductive thoughts were there. Maybe not every day, but often enough to be very annoying. I'm here to tell you that today, more than 9 months after my quit, I realize that I am not desiring a cigarette hardly ever! This is a first for me. And this death of the romance is not just a matter of time-- I quit smoking before for periods of up to a year and still suffered from romancing. I think that the difference this time is that I educated myself about Nicodemon's lies. It's as though my rational brain has told my junkie brain over and over and over again "No, smoking is NOT pleasurable! And such small, brief pleasure as you feel when you smoke comes at way too great a cost! Forget it!" and finally, FINALLY junkie brain is quieting down. What a relief! Now I do admit that during these "romancing episodes" that I'm talking about-- those days when I really, really wanted a cigarette-- I had to remind myself over and over again about why I quit smoking in the first place and remind myself over and over again that I wanted to quit more than I wanted to smoke. I had to FIGHT to keep my quit many, many times over the months. The urge to smoke wasn't constant, but it was frequent. Sometimes it was quite miserable. I'm still jealous of people who seemed to have it easier than I did. I often thought that I was a "special snowflake" and I had it harder than other quitters-- few people admitted that they still wanted to smoke many months after a quit. But whether I had it worse than anyone else or not, I hung in there, reminded myself about why I quit, and that I was DETERMINED not to smoke. Now, at last, I can look back over the last few weeks and realize that the romance is dead. I finally, finally am at the point where I do think about smoking once in a while but it's like a vague thought that is easily dismissed, not a serious desire. I have heard others describe this "vague thought" phenomenon many months after a quit and I finally understand what they are talking about. So I guess I am writing this to say that if you are many weeks or months into a quit and you still want a cigarette, you are not alone. What you are experiencing is real. It does happen to some people (like me, for example). You are romancing the cigarette and you have to use your rational brain, your smoking education, and your strong desire to quit to fight the urge. And eventually, sooner or later, you will turn around one day and realize that the romance is dead. You really don't have to fight to keep your quit anymore-- you just have to remain vigilant and committed. Hang in there, folks! You can DO this!
    22 points
  4. 22 points
  5. Today is my Mom's death day anniversary (lung cancer) She died the day before my youngest daughter's 6th birthday. For the next 4 years, my daughter cried herself to sleep the night before her birthday. (we never mentioned my mom at that time, she simply remembered) On her death bed, my mom asked me to to promise her I would quit smoking. I made that promise to her - never intending to keep it. That was 31 years ago.......... KTQ While I'm here................. I would like to say something to any lurkers reading this - I smoked for over 46 years (some people here have smoked even longer than that) I am a serial quitter with many failed attempts under my belt If you are here at the Quit Train, you probably are thinking about quitting I hate to sound cliche, but if I can do it - anyone can do it So please take a leap of faith, stop thinking about it, you can do it...you can quit smoking! You will find strength you never new you had One day at a time... some days may be rough, but sometimes life is rough There is always someone here for you, you will NEVER be alone in this Put down the excuses and do this for you!
    21 points
  6. We have several quitters here on the Train who are in the earlier stages of the quit. Godspeed newbies. I'm noticing some recurring themes and thought I would put in my two-cents. Quitting is simple if you don't complicate it. Quitting doesn't demand that you do anything. You're simply refraining from doing something you used to do. It makes no demands on your time and it's free. Don't stick a cigarette in your mouth and light it on fire. One-step and done. "I quit, but I still want to smoke." Of course you do, particularly in the early days. Old habits alone are hard enough to break. Throw addiction in the mix and now you've got yourself a situation that is going to want to hang on for a while. Be patient with the process and cut yourself some slack. If you wanted to smoke but didn't...congratulations, that's how you build a quit. "I want to get to that place of freedom." Look around; are you sure you're not already there? You used to smoke and now you don't. That's freedom. Some are celebrating making it through their first week others are commemorating five years. Just because someone started their journey before you doesn't mean you're not on the same trail. You've done a great thing for yourself, you quit smoking. You are already right where you need to be. Congratulations newbies. You've committed to a process that will reward you many times over. Take pride and enjoy the ride.
    20 points
  7. I haven't been around that much but I was here yesterday and was glad to see all of the long quits. I haven't written in a few years but would like to post a few thoughts about the quit process. Looking at the new and young quits, and the never-ending fight to gain a foothold on the sticky quit, I just wanted to let the newer quits I see on the QT know, that you'll get there too, by sticking to your plan and what you will learn as you stay quit. This is only a mind game, where your self control is being tested constantly. It wears on you as you overcome the triggering of craves through attrition, trying to process them simply as your mind/body healing itself naturally through recognition and reaction. That someting so elementary is so taxing is hard to understand sometimes. It really requires no action other than acknowledgement of the particular craving and the processing of it. Repetition is the key. The first triggers and craves that you will defeat are the ones you encounter the most. The most infrequent ones are the last to fall, and they do, through repetition. If you will just keep doing your normal daily and nightly activities sans the nicotine delivery, eventually you'll roll over the addiction and leave it behind. Sounds overly simplistic reading this but remember that you will trigger and crave and try to understand what caused it. Don't be alarmed and dont make a hasty judgement, because sometimes you can't put your finger on the particular cause to your effect. Could be romancing the cigarette subconsciously and missing that old smoky life, since things have changed and you don't know who you are sometimes. I mean you were this... smoker... and now maybe scared and are wanting to go back to what you see as normal. That is when you get tough and remember that you control your own mind and heart and that you call the shots. It's okay to feel weak, but know that you didn't get this way in a few days so it will take a few months of honest work to get out of the hole. You will make it, even if you feel like you won't. This will not kill you but it will make you unbelievably strong if you'll just stick to your quit plan and your back up plan, and allow yourself some time to heal. So be militant anti smoking, and remember that you are in a fight and that you are unwinding your whole being from the addiction so walk like it and act like it. Once smoking and cigarettes were every part of you, and now...well now they are not. That hurts and that is painful, but it is the work you have to do, so let the process work. Pay it forward, and stay as strong as you can as you use what you have learned. And if you fall, it isn't the end. You start again. A dream becomes a wish, and that wish becomes your reality as you work the quit. Time is on your side now, so dont give that addiction any more of you. You're in control of your mind and body and you've taken the chains off. Don't put them back on. KTQ,
    20 points
  8. Thank you sweet & wonderful people! You are my rocks & my salvation. You are my spirit lifters & my doubt squashers. This - BY FAR - has been the most difficult quit of my life. In past quits, I kick back and wait for The Big Excuse - it always shows up...okay tragedy has struck you can smoke now, but....way to go....you tried..... This time my mantra got me here - Smoking Is Not An Option - Along with an amazing support group, education about the addiction, NOPE, and one fearless husband who has lived with the spawn of satan without blinking an eye. But...I move forward with caution... The demon is not dead and as long as she is living I must fight the (ever changing) good fight. I can not and will not go back to square one again! This cat is too old & tired. I think it's best to hang around another year (or so) to cement my quit and move toward that beautiful feeling of freedom. (and to those that I will never see again (but will remain in my heart)...if you are lurking...thank you for supporting me in my journey )
    20 points
  9. 20 points
  10. *A lifetime of freedom from nicotine. *Worldwide support from members in all phases of quitting and who know and can relate to what you may go through at any given time in your quit. *Tons of educational material about our addiction to nicotine. Be it by reading, watching videos or asking other members. We have it all So what do you have to lose by becoming a member?
    19 points
  11. Good morning fellow NOPErs and a special Good Morning to anyone out there lurking and considering joining or re-joining us because this one is especially for you... Thanks to the American calendar of days I now know that today is All or Nothing Day .... this is a concept as old as time but the Romans were the first to coin a special term for it... “Carpe Diem” or seize the day. All Or Nothing Day takes that spirit and urges people to break through their barriers, ignore the fears that hold them back, and make that big commitment to a better life. Everyone has something they would love to do if only they weren’t so scared. All Or Nothing Day is the day for the girding of loins, taking it on the chin, and confronting those fears. As it says, by breaking the deadlock you may end up with all or nothing, but at least the barrier is broken. You succeed or fail, but are no longer paralysed by indecision.... so why not Seize the Day and make 26th July the first day of your quit, the first day you pledge NOPE, Not One Puff Every, even if its just for the day... then I'll see you right back here same time tomorrow so we can pledge it again for another 24 hours. NOPE ... cos nothing controls my life but me o Topic of the Day: Mythical Creatures
    19 points
  12. Growing up in the 70's and 80's of course I had heard all of the talk about cigarettes being a "health hazard". As a thirteen year old this meant little to me as I snuck around getting cigarettes from wherever I could and hiding wherever I could to get my little fix. I was already addicted and I used to hang my head outside the toilet window and smoke. As if no-one knew. They knew they just didn't know what to do about it and neither did I, even at that early point I knew I was hooked. While I wasn't pleased about being hooked, I did seem to enjoy them. In fact I seemed to enjoy them a whole LOT! First thing in the morning I'd dream of my morning cigarette even before I climbed out of bed. This ritual continued for 30 years. Every now and then I would think I'd need to give up smoking. I'd try, fail and then rationalise that I seemed to be breathing ok so maybe I would get away with smoking without bad consequences. At 40 years old I did regular kickboxing classes and I could kick the asses of a lot of people who were younger than me. I continued to think if I kept physically fit, smoking would not hurt me. I was wrong. At forty I injured my back and then developed a disease that affected my joints. I could no longer work out and walking even was tough at times. I did all of the therapies I could to help myself but struggled with quitting smoking. Seven years on and I am approaching 50. I finally kicked smoking but have lingering effects of 30 years of smoking. I seem to be paying more than the mere monetary cost of cigarettes which mind you is almost the cost of rent at $360 per fortnight for a pack a day habit. My health is not good but it's not quite bad enough to get disability support. I've cut down my working hours so I don't have a full income. I never did pay off a home or save much money due to a lifetime of slavery to an addiction. I've reached a point where I should be slowing down due to health issues yet I can't due to my financial situation. Smoking seriously impacted my finances long term. It is only occurring to me now what all those years of smoking really did cost besides money. Seriously, my health to some degree, my ability to support myself (feel safe and trust in my own abilities). I've not included in this the extra odd wrinkle. If this post sounds negative, I make no apologies. It is reality. Only 10 years ago I thought I had everything sorted, with good health and the ability to look after myself. Would things have been easier if I'd have stopped then? Perhaps, I can't be sure. While I always avoid lecturing people, I think in this area I've somewhat earnt the right to lecture. So youngin's listen up (and us dumb older ones) do not continue to smoke if you are smoking and do not have the first one if you are quit. You may regret it more than you can know at this point in time. I also wanted to mention that I am doing well despite the trials I have had. I have a pretty full life. I work, have lots of friends and am also doing uni. I look after myself with a great diet and am hoping this will serve me into old age. While I don't kickboxing, I do yoga and ride my push bike and the elliptical at the gym.
    19 points
  13. NOPE! No smoking on Wednesdays!!
    19 points
  14. NOPE - I don't smoke any more.
    19 points
  15. Nope! Having too much fun NOT smoking
    19 points
  16. 19 points
  17. Posted 12 April 2014 - 09:56 PM It's no big deal to be an Old Pharte. Sure, it's nice to achieve that milestone and receive all the accolades, but it's not hard anymore to not smoke. By one year, you are far into your new life as a nonsmoker and you don't have to struggle to stay that way. By one year, the benefits of your quit have improved your life and your lifestyle. You are reminded every single day how great it is to be a nonsmoker. Your bank account is bigger and your health is better. And for many of us, there is a whole new way of life outside of just getting rid of the cigarettes. We have discovered new activities we love, we eat better, we have a new found confidence, we're proud of ourselves. What's so hard about all this? You know who are MY heroes? That person who has been lurking here and has finally made the choice to quit. And those who just got past that magic 72 hour mark, or hit their one month milestone. My heroes are the people who have blind faith and believe us when we tell them it will get better. It's those who get up every morning and log onto the QSMB to make the daily pledge because they know that's the only thing that will keep them from smoking that day. It's the person who is out the door to buy cigarettes but instead turns around and posts that SOS. Newbies, you are why this board is here. You are the ones that are the big deal here! So, cheers to all those brave souls who one day will join us on the lido deck. You're in the trenches now, but keep on climbing and if you need help reach out and we'll grab your hand. Because you are why we do what we do.
    18 points
  18. So you've relapsed again for the umpteenth time. You come to the board admitting your failure and get a mixture of responses. Some positive and it makes you get right back to your quit. Some negative and you're afraid to post or start again because you'll only fail and upset people. But the truth is, who cares what we think? It's your life, your quit. You decide when you're ready to quit. We offer the support, along with a huge library of education. We also offer a ton of socializing topics to help distract you and keep your mind off smoking. Please remember that we have lots of "chronic" relapsers who finally found their forever quit and so can you. Never Give up giving up.
    18 points
  19. 18 points
  20. 18 points
  21. 18 points
  22. It feels amazing to pledge NOPE for the 365th day in a row.....and so I will! A big beautiful NOPE to commemorate one year of smobriety.
    18 points
  23. Given what has been going on this past week with the QSMB site and the havoc it has created for many of you new and not so new quitters that have joined up with us over here, I just wanted to point out that this site exists because of Maryland Quitter. He was the creator of this place and he personally finances it. Yes he has technical help behind the scenes but HE is the driving force. If not for him and what he has done to create and maintain this place, we would all be out there scrambling and looking for a new home right now. I'm sure he won't want the spotlight but I for one would like to at least tip my hat to him - well done sir!!
    18 points
  24. 18 points
  25. Keep yourself busy and.... NOPE..
    18 points
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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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