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Showing content with the highest reputation since 08/18/19 in Blog Comments

  1. 5 points
    I actually canceled the wig and rarely wear the one I did get. I really think I was just emotionally all over the place at the time I ordered them. I've found that wearing a turban or scarf is way more comfortable and cooler and are my go to when I go out. When around my family I just rock the natural bald look - well stubbly look at this point lol. I know it's been a while since I've updated my blog so here's a bit of what's been going on: This Saturday will be 1 wk since I've been on the chemo pill Tagrisso and so far so good. I go back in a week for them to do an EKG and labs to make sure all is going A-OK. The fatigue of the radiation seems to be wearing off as I've had more energy this week however the loss of appetite is still there even when my stomach growls. I make sure that I have protein shakes on hand and try to eat several small meals through out the day. At first I was more worried about eating all 'good foods' but for now I just eat what I want so I'm not losing weight. I figure better something than nothing. I also set up an appt. to speak with their counselors hoping they would be a good sounding board for me, I've never been to one so not sure what to expect. In the mean time and in between time we try to get out at least 3x during the week which is perfect. On the off days we just Netflix and chill. My sister is joining me for yoga classes for cancer patients at our local YMCA and a mediation class once a week. We also booked a trip to Orlando in October for a girls only trip so looking forward to that. Other than that I'm just taking it all day by day and keeping up the good fight! I know theres alot forgetting and will try to update more as I go along.
  2. 5 points
    Yes Kate, PLEASE at least try using the air cigarette. It really did the job at getting me through the cravings. You've been at this a long time, years, so at this point it wouldn't hurt to try the clues that worked for us. I REALLY want you to succeed and I know you can. You just have to believe it too
  3. 4 points
    " Trying to figure out how to make a running list of cravings, not separate blog entries." The only way to do this is to 'edit' into your original post or post new entries down here in the comment section. This works really well for Hellkatbaby. The sooner you switch up your patterns and triggers the easier this will be, Kate. I know, easier said than done. Move your coffee cup, put it in a trigger-free zone. Take breaks and reward yourself with something, breaths...happy memory, music, dance.... Replace smokey thoughts with deep cleansing breaths, use @jillar's Air Cigarette. Distract yourself, reward yourself for every crave conquered ! You are doing important work. Stay with it for a minute, another hour, a day, a month, a year. NOPE is the mantra, just like Free Your Head. S
  4. 4 points
    And that's pretty much how the day went lol! Grease has been on and even though I've seen it a million times I could watch it a million more. I do think the CBD helped. I used to smoke weed recreationally and of course it always gave me a good sleep and chilled me out lol. So I did have her pick me up a bottle that way I can have 1 to take at night and then 1/4 or 1/2 the dose for my anxiety during the day as I ween off the Xanax. Also doing my rabbit hole researching found that there is no interaction between the Tagrisso and medical marijuana so then dug into the case studies and basically it came down to nothing but beneficial. And being in the state of Fl. I'm eligible to obtain my card based on my dx. Of course I plan to let my Dr. know, not sure if he'll be pro or con but again that's where I get to step in as my own 'patient advocate' and make my own decision and not be denied treatment. Again it's just something that makes sense vs taking a bunch of synthetics for this or that when there's something natural that will do it all. I reached out to my neighbor today who went through it with breast cancer and she was so glad I did and I am too. I really needed someone close to talk to and apparently she had been waiting for me to reach out. We talked for a good hour or so and I just felt so much better afterwards. It helps when someone 'gets it'. She's also retired and the caretaker for her husband (dementia and dialysis) so she's been feeling isolated and lonely and would enjoy spending time with someone. So we agreed we'd support each other. Starting tomorrow we are going to start a ritual of walking every AM before it gets too hot. We both need the exercise and now have a buddy to do it with. Then in the afternoons her H doesn't have treatments or my family isn't here we'll get together and play board games or cards. She's a big scrabble fan so that works for me and helps keep the mind sharp. But I think all and all we were both relieved to know that were not alone in our situations and that two are better than one and we can encourage each other. Hopefully tonight I sleep good. I hope everyone has a goodnight and remember NOPE!!! We can do this!!
  5. 4 points
    Bald is beautiful.. it says I'm a fighter. It says I am strong. It says I have untold power and strength.... And yet it's still daunting when it happens, I was fine when the hair fell out had one if the kids I tutored buzz it off for me but the day I wiped my eyes and I was left with a handful of lashes, I broke....cried and cried and cried. Not sure what it's like where you are but over hear we have free wigs , if you want to go that way. Check with the support groups they will know what is out there. Just think, often it grows back differently, and you will have virgin hair again, never coloured or permed. Mine came back darker and curlier. Completely different.
  6. 4 points
    Thank you Jordan7 - I've always been one who really dives into strange rabbit holes however this one I am treading lightly as it can be a bit much to take all at once. I have been researching that Trial medication 'Memantine' and some of the case studies on it, especially after they said if they were to cut 1 drug that would be the one which made me stop and think 'ok wait a second - take it but don't take it.' Time to dig into that one - so all in all the studies are pretty much inconclusive. I then moved on to the side effects over time as you increase the drug dosage from one pill a day to 4 a day over time and they include: dizziness, headaches, constipation, fatigue, weight loss, swelling, increased heart rate and aggression. So in MY personal conclusion that is a big fat NOPE. You can keep that trial drug to yourself thank you very much! I'll stick with my puzzles and mind/memory games vs putting my body through all that crap. It is a healthy habit that even I forgot about and does make a huge difference. It's funny how we forget just the simplest of things while taking care of ourselves. For the most part all I drink now is water aside of a glass of orange juice. I even picked up some protein powder to make my shakes for the afternoons to help build that muscle mass I'm going to need. I think today I'll try the milk, banana and peanut butter one first - mmmm. Of course I picked the chocolate flavor!! Tonight we are doing a 'family' dinner vs going out. I'm having my son and mom over and just having a nice homecooked meal with everyone around the table and then break out the game boards! I might run by the goodwill when they open at 10 to see what board games they may have. Got to love a good thrift!!!
  7. 3 points
    Thank you for checking in Richard, the whole first year is the hardest. Be it quitting or the death of a loved one Smoking can and for most of us did produce brain fog for some time when we first quit. I can't remember how long it was for me but it was a good couple of months. Hopefully you'll get some answers soon and be on the road to feeling better at least physically. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts...……...
  8. 3 points
    Dear Richard, so glad to hear from you and know that you have not caved to smoking. I can not imagine the pain you are experiencing now and hope that your family is there to help sheer you up. I do hope the doctor can find an answer to your fatigue and brain fog. I am sure your emotions are playing a part in that. I know that words can not ease your pain right now but hope that you feel you can come here to talk or share your feelings. We are not just here to help you beat the habit.
  9. 3 points
    I used to keep my hair very very short, very short and loved that people would rub my scalp. It felt so good. Glad you are communicating. Glad you are here. Stay focused. You win.
  10. 3 points
    It is wonderful to hear from you. I do know you are resting and your body is healing. It is important to direct your strength where it is needed. I think talking to a counselor is a great idea. Sometimes it is easier to bounce your feelings off someone who is trained in listening. Your family is emotionally invested in your illness and may find it difficult to talk with you. It sounds like you are incredibly close with your sister. You are so lucky to have her. The Yoga classes sound great. It is important to stay relaxed and free of stress while you are battling this illness. I will continue to pray for you and the results of your upcoming appointment. x Linda
  11. 3 points
    If it feels too silly you can use a cut straw or a pen instead of the invisible cig I used. One of our members used licorice for hers which I wish I had of thought of lol. Hope it helped you get past your craves?
  12. 3 points
    Richard, we understand your grief. Know that we are here if you need us. May the love of your family help sustain you in this sorrowful time.
  13. 3 points
    Thanks for checking in - I just ended up getting wrapped up in the day that was supposed to be 'relaxing' but turned out to be one of those unexpected busy days. Never did get any sleep much less to really sit down until bedtime at 11 and now it's 3AM again! SIGH.....my new 'wake up' time. Hopefully I'll catch some zzzz's around 4ish before the house starts buzzing when my BF wakes up. Oh how I made such a mess of things yesterday lol - I woke up to hair just pretty much coming everywhere and clinging to everything! So thought I'd take control and empower myself by just buzz cutting it. First I did take a little bit and saved a small pig tail of it. But ugh after that what a hot mess that turned out to be I started with the #2 guard and was like NOPE that looks really sloppy. Then moved to the #1 guard and things went from bad to worse! I finally gave up trying to be 'neat' about it and just swept it all up and threw it away. I never thought I'd do the wig thing but since my ins. is covering it and not costing me a dime I figured I'd take advantage of it. Then about the time I was going to eat and take a nap my phone started blowing up. It was my insurance letting me know the Dr's tried to put the claim under pharmacy and that was holding everything up. So rather than try and call them and sit on hold and the wait days for them to get to it I just drove up there and had them resubmit the claim correctly. While I was waiting the stylist went ahead and cleaned up my head for me - now it doesn't look like a 2yr old did it lol. But by the time she was done everything was already approved and I was able to walk out wearing the wig I picked out a few days before! So she spent a good 2hrs with me showing me how to take care of it etc. Then I actually ended up order another one before leaving just because! Both are by Raquel Welsh - the first one is called Show Stopper but the name is misleading. To me it's just a very casual just past the shoulders everyday look. But the 2nd one I chose was the Limelight - which is really long and curly and there's ALOT you can do with it. I go back Monday since they had to order that one. I'll post pics of what they look like at the bottom. But by the time I got home I realized quickly how hot a wig can be! I took that puppy off as soon as I hit the door and rocked the t-shirt turban all day. When I went to try it on to show my BF I realized I need lots more practice with these things. He really like it though! Said had he not known what my real hair looked like he would have never guessed it was a wig. But I went from a brunette to a red-head with high lights. Figured I might as well switch things up!! But to be honest the turbans and scarves seem way more comfy and easy for now. My sister got back in town tonight and wants me to come hang out at the river house with her tomorrow - I think a change of scenery will do me good and I can't wait to catch up with her. So I have all sorts of goodies packed for a day of just fun and sister stuff!!! Hopefully I'll be able to catch a morning nap this time before heading out. But if not I know I can just crash out there peacefully. Ohhhh and my Deadpool PJ's come today!! My BFF ordered them from Amazon so I'm super excited about that lol!! Still haven't gotten around to the mask yet - forgot about paint fumes/marker fumes so trying to figure out if I can just get colored duct tape and do it that way. I'm sure I'll think of something!! So until then TGIF everybody!! It's the weekend, time to relax and enjoy it because we earned it!! This is the 'show stopper' or casual and this is the 'limelight' a bit more dressier. Digging the red though.
  14. 3 points
    Round one complete, and it's Team Deadpool's hellkatbaby for the win!!! Ugh on the hair loss, but as everyone has said, it will grow back. It will be like that really short haircut you get and then aren't so sure about for a while, but it all works out. In the meantime, you are going to ROCK the bald and beautiful and will probably end up becoming a famous turban designer and we can all say we knew you when. Speaking of rocking it, Tank is owning those devil ears and what a sweet baby smile he has. Luna is gorgeous, too -- that's a beautiful pair of pups you have taking care of you. Time for more rib bones. Yoga on the beach sounds like a perfect way to relax, so hopefully your docs will give you the go ahead. Otherwise, maybe that group has other meet ups that you can attend until you're beach yoga ready.
  15. 3 points
    Their names are Tank (the rottie) and he's almost 6 and then our Big Booty Girl Luna who's almost 5 - we think she's part kangaroo part mastiff lol!! She really wants to help but she has no thumbs!! I know the hair will grow back but it's such a big step to think about shaving it just yet since the top is all still there. However the slightest movement or touch and the rest of the in- between layers are just all over my clothes, the floor - just everywhere which is why I just went to the shoulders and tucked it under the cap for now. I figured if it was still coming out like this over the next few days I'll go ahead and just have it buzzed off. I did some googling and found a place 5 min from me called 'in the pink' and they will do it at no cost. They also offer free yoga classes for cancer patients and survivors every Wednesday at the beach so I'll check with my Dr. to see if I can get the OK for something like that. It would be nice to get to socialize a bit and meet some new people who 'get it'.
  16. 3 points
    They are so cute. Love the devil horns. My Angel needs those. She looked like an Angel but I think she is the instigator in my pack. One looks like a big guy. How old are they? What are their names. You said they have been out of the crate. I don't think I will ever be able to take mine out of the crates. Those pups are the best medicine for you. Don't worry about the hair loss. My friends, who lost hers, during treatment, had it grow back much thicker and curlier. It was beautiful. Now is the time to rest and mentally prepare for the next battle. You are doing great.
  17. 3 points
    We'll be right beside you tomorrow, celebrating and ringing in the end of round one. Here's to you and to all of your spectacular tomorrows to come!
  18. 3 points
    I'm ready to find my zzzzz's again that's for sure! hopefully it will find me tonight . If the pups wake me again I just might start crating them at night. I hate to do that because they are really good and only falling into step with my whacked schedule and I feel safe with them but we ALL need to get on the right schedule again. Gotta love them though!! Today was a nice chill day - I didn't bother with any household chores aside of making something to eat and then turned my phone on silent and just relaxed without feeling a bit guilty about it. Even though I wasn't able to 'nap' I was able to recharge which is just as important. I still do my exercises and mindful breathing. Last night I was so relaxed afterwards I couldn't even bother to write in my journal - kept finding myself nodding off lol. I could crawl into bed right now honestly but holding off to see if I'll be able to sleep just a tad later. Tomorrow is my last day of radiation and I get to ring to bell from round 1!! I'm going to have the nurse use my phone to take a video of it of course and then take my mask home and get to work on detailing that sucker out Deadpool style! Then I'll have the next 2 weeks to get into a really good routine before round 2 starts. My sister should be back in town mid-week and I can't wait to just see her and just hang out. She texted me late the other night and seems their trip and turned into more of a nightmare and she is ready to get back to Florida and take a vacay from her vacay. and selfishly I'm ready for her to be back. So here's to tomorrow - me ringing the bell and getting my mask! Oh yea!!!!
  19. 3 points
    Glad your dinner came out well, it sounds yummy. A lot of your insomnia could also be related to quitting smoking. Most of us had some insomnia the first month or two of our quit but soon found our -zzzzzzz's again
  20. 3 points
    I'm actually learning to be a better cook but my BF is actually the 'chef' of the house which is great so I'm learning from him. Dinner went really well and they actually went back for 2nds! We grilled chicken, had some fresh snapped beans with bacon (a cheat day for me) and some stir fried rice! It was really good and plenty of left overs for tonight!! We plan to make this a weekly or bi-weekly thing from here on out with the family. Sleep will find me I know it will. Tonight the pups woke me at 2:30 wanting to go out. I think they are now on MY wacked out schedule lol. But it will level out in time and I'm curious to see if not taking that memantine and letting that get out of my system will help. After today I have 1 treatment left then 2wks of just me time before the next leg of the battle!! Today will be chillax day since we did so much yesterday and there's nothing left to clean or organize which is wonderful! All I have planned is to go to my treatment then back home to do my exercises and then hit the easy chair. I might even dive into a jigsaw puzzle or finally those coloring books. I used to love to paint but I can still draw so I might pick that up again! Hope everyone has a great week!! And remember to NOPE!!!
  21. 2 points
    Hey all thanks for the kind words. Right now just doing. Not sure what. Donated her clothes to good will. Just getting rid of things. Cant stop thinking of her every day.Going to a doctor tommorow. You know about the brain fog. Still have it. Went to a neurologist 2 weeks ago.He gave me a complete physical. He is sending me to a cdc doctor in the area tommorow.He says the arm pain is the c-5 and t-7 joint which is what my chiropractor said.As for the brain fog and fatigue he thinks i have neurological lyme. Been saying that to the reg. doctors for months.They took test which really does not check for it in the brain.I told them they said i do not have it but i thought i did.He said he really agrees with me.He said the testing that is done is not very good.Still not smoking through all of this.I will let you guys know how its going in a few days. Again thanks all for the kind thoughts. Dam it is still so hard to belive sob
  22. 2 points
    Thank you for the update hellkat, I'm glad that the chemo pill hasn't caused extra side effects. And I'm glad you're getting your energy back. Just remember to listen to your body and not overdo it. I drink Boost plus to help me gain and keep weight on. They have 360 calories each plus lots of protein and vitamins. Orlando sounds like a fun time with your sis, the weather should be nicer then too
  23. 2 points
    yes, go to positive reinforcement. The body misses the bump of endorphins that nicotine corrupted so when you are in a crave, force yourself to think of something beautiful, something in front of you or a happy memory. This will jump start the flow of endorphins. Deep breaths of oxygen do the same as does physical movement...music/dance. (move a muscle, change a thought) I walked down to the tracks and did primal screaming when the train rolled by. very satisfying. You quit smoking, Kate ! You don't smoke anymore. Celebrate this every moment.
  24. 2 points
    Use whatever works to get past the craves Kate. I kept telling myself this too shall pass. Over and over again while puffing n my invisible air cigarette. I promise you with each crave you defeat, the next one is easier. You're doing great
  25. 2 points
    First craving of the day, with coffee. Was going to have green tea, but forgot to steep it in cold brew fashion last night. Coffee it is. Imagining smoking and how satisfying it would be to relieve the discomfort of this change in ritual and drug withdrawal. Continued with the imagery, though, on to having cataracts and being blind, losing my job and home, and dying young with my kids grieving. By the time I was finished imagining, the craving passed. Left me in a blue mood, though. Going to imagine something more uplifting next craving.
  26. 2 points
    Now *there's a thought! Good idea, especially when I read the complaints online (on America's favorite online place) about various juggling ball sets. I want the kind that don't roll away. I have that kind, and spend more time searching out the balls under furniture than juggling. Thanks, Jillar, great idea.
  27. 2 points
    That's a great idea Kate. And if you really want to keep your hands busy you could make the bean bags yourself
  28. 2 points
    Yes, and now, again. I just finished watching a charming movie before going to bed. Now is when I would have smoked. Instead, I practiced twirling my pen between my fingers for a minute or two. It's tougher than it looks. Started off with the pen as pseudo-cigarette. I think I'll order small bean bags online and learn to juggle through my cravings. It'll be a new skill. New neurons forming and old ones being pruned away.
  29. 2 points
    use it to give yourself a hit of OXYGEN !!
  30. 2 points
    The after-dinner craving has settled in. Had an ice cream bar as a reward for getting through it. That's a heavy one, after dinner. Made it, though. On to the next.
  31. 2 points
    My deepest sympathy Richard .... You are in our hearts and thoughts at this sad time ... I'm lost my partner in May to this horrible illness....after a 15 year battle .... We do understand your pain .... xx
  32. 2 points
    Richard, just like Linda said, we'll be here if you need an ear....
  33. 2 points
    My heart breaks for you, your wife, and your children, Richard. Thank you for taking the time to come here to remind all of us of the difference between temporary discomfort and cravings, and real unfathomable loss. Please take care of yourself and hold your children tight as that's all that matters right now. We are here for you if and when you choose.
  34. 2 points
    Oh it's hit alright. I know today is going to be another chill day for me I'm finally going to listen to my body and just rest. I'm curious to know what other side effects I'll have. I know everyone reacts differently but they said to expect this 'dip' around the third and 4th week and then around week 6 should start coming back up and feeling better. Glad to know it wont last forever. That pill did seem to work. I think last night was the longest I've slept yet! And I probably would have slept longer had the pups not woken me up. I'm definitely going to take another one tonight. But for now just checking in before I go hit my recliner.
  35. 2 points
    Sorry you didn't make it to your sisters today but glad you're listening to your body and taking that much needed rest. When I first quit smoking I was exhausted for months so I can't imagine going through what you are on top of that. I hope the CBD helps you get that full nights sleep you need
  36. 2 points
    Now you're rocking and rolling. Great choices on the wigs (I particularly love the first one -- straight and elegantly casual with with a hot red highlight). Those will be perfect for whenever you're in the mood, and turbans, scarves, and hats will be fun to play around for everyday looks. Baseball caps are always an option and some of these newsboy caps could be good for a change. https://hatsscarvesandmore.com/collections/newsboy-caps If you can't use paint on the mask, maybe you could do the red area with fabric and black duct tape or even a thin sheet of rubber for the black areas . Or this link shows how to make it out of a red t-shirt. https://www.instructables.com/id/Deadpool-Mask-1/ . He uses spray paint for the black area but you could substitute or have someone else do the spraying (or do the fumes never quite go away even after drying outside?) Have fun with your sister today! Lazing around a river house sounds like a perfect way to spend the day -- don't forget to bring your new PJs.
  37. 2 points
    Look at you go super hero. After that initial loss with the hair, give it a day or so and you don't notice it. Just remember when it grows back it's an exciting new present .... it could be the same or completely different. Love the wigs you chose though, they are very nice.
  38. 2 points
    hellkatbaby, dinner sounded wonderful. My husband is a chef too. He loves the cooking channels. Yay! last treatment. That will be a big relief. You need to share pictures of those pups. There is a dog section but you can post them here. Mine are early risers. I think there was a rooster on the farm, where we got them. They will be two in October but are still a work in progress. You definitely should go back to painting. I did a ton of crafting while I was recuperating. Art is so soothing to the soul. You should celebrate your day today and then come home and relax. Go Team Deadpool!
  39. 2 points
    @hellkatbaby I love the selfie also. My kids and grand kids would take a homecooked meal and games over going out. I bet you are a super cook. Quitting smoking, I had not patience. I would have set the BF straight. You definitely do not need stress in your life. Puzzles and mind games are the best way to keep that brain in tune. I keep hoping you will finally be able to relax and get some good rest. That is important in your recovery. Have a wonderful day with your family.
  40. 2 points
    So I did start my new AM routine this morning and have to say - I feel really good and proud of myself! I found something nice on from the Livestrong foundation by the YMCA that seems perfect and low impact. I even have a new checklist to go down each AM to start my day. When I wake up I drink 8oz of water 1st thing. I don't chug it but just drink it and then use mindful breathing for 5 min. I make sure I eat protein, veggies and good fats for breakfast. Then rest and do some more mindful breathing before I start my exercises. Practicing my balance, the wall and clock crawl. Simple leg lifts to standing on one leg and then the other. Breathing exercises that are mindful for sleep and stress. They even have a cooling breath for those hot flashes!! Simple but useful things like hand and toe curls and using a stress ball. I really think this will be so helpful in just my new daily morning and evening routine. (or whenever I feel like it) At the end there is a fatigue assessment test to take and I have to admit on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the worst I would say I'm at a good 5 at the moment. Everything just feels right!! I know over time I will work myself up and get stronger and just the effort is the payoff! I think I have started to find that new balance and just had to share!! My mind is so at peace right now and I don't feel all jittery like I have to go clean something lol. I just feel good!!
  41. 1 point
    me too, Hellkat. Thinking about you.
  42. 1 point
  43. 1 point
    take a walk, take a shower, scream into a pillow. just got to power through the gruesome days. they will soon be over. all this discomfort is temporary
  44. 1 point
    Gutted to read of the passing of your wife Richard. My deepest sympathies to you for your loss. Thank you for having the courage to share this with others. I'm sure your motivation is to make even just 1 person think twice about quitting. Thank you for that. I know it can't be easy to do that.
  45. 1 point
    I am so glad you connected with your neighbor. Sounds like you both will be supporting each other. Hellkat, you are doing awesome. I don't think your doctor will have a problem with the cannabis. I am finding more and more people who have had there doctors recommend it. Sleep well tonight.
  46. 1 point
    Boy hellkat, I was beginning to think you were superwoman. I knew that radiation had to hit sometime. Your body needs to recoup from the radiation. Accept the fact that you are going to be tired for a while. Fortunately, it will not last forever. Can't believe Deadpool jammies come in adult sizes. I bet you look cute! I just googled the CBD/THC. Isn't it amazing how they have found cannabis to have such great medicinal value. You are doing so great handling all these new challenges. That positive attitude is going to carry you through all this. Take care and rest.
  47. 1 point
    Those wigs are really pretty hellkat I favor the first one best too I like Jordan's idea about your mask. Maybe crayons or magic markers? Maybe your local craft store would have some more ideas. Have fun at the lake house today and you're doing awesome on your quit too!
  48. 1 point
    I went with a 1 buzz. It was just easier. I'm a big soon and didn't like the wig so just rocked scarfs and trubans and bandanas and I had these super soft and gentle headbands that had the triangle scarf bit built in. Scarfs/bandanas were the best because there were lots of different ways to tie them.
  49. 1 point
    :Thank you so much Linda!! just the words I needed to hear!! I made it til 3:30 uninterrupted so again not bad. I'm sure I'll go down again in a few hours and catch another hour or so of sleep or just rest. No big plans for today for me until around 5ish - there's a lady on one of my soaping forums who happens to be local and decided to buy my entire stash!! So she will be stopping by to pick that up. I love the whole pay it forward thing. Her son is special needs so she's really going to be surprised at all the extras she will be getting that she doesn't know about yet all the Starwars and kid themed soap molds that hopefully he will love to play with in the tub. Not to mention all the bubble bars!! Who doesn't love bubbles!! I just hope her car is big enough lol! Of course my BF will be here to help her load everything. We had to break down and buy a newer fridge yesterday. It seems my appliances want to give out one after the other but this thing was a good 15 plus yrs old and also on it's last leg. So we stopped by the habitat for Jax and found a really nice side by side with ice maker/water dispenser and tons of space and crisper drawers!! They also offer a warranty at a price that was a steal!! So out with the old and in with the newer - more room for all that good food and not having it fall out when we open the door lol. My BF and his coworker will be picking that up mid morning so we can get her plugged up and ready to xfer the food!! They plan on renting the UFC fight tonight and grilling out which is fine by me all I have to do is sit back and watch!! Yup it's going to be a good day!!
  50. 1 point
    I'm getting there and fighting the whole way! I was able to sleep after my post last night even if it was for a short few hours it was nice! I'm holding out tonight hoping if I go to bed later then maybe I'll sleep a bit more. Worth a try at least. This AM after treatment I finally had to cave and go to Walmart. I needed to pick up on the bulk stuff and figured since it was early in the morning it wouldn't be to bad. Of course I ended up spending way more than I wanted (again). I've really got to get that under control lol. But nothing I got will go to waste for sure! I did pick up a $5 T-shirt that said 'I rolled my eyes so HARD I could see my brain!' I figured I'd wear that to tomorrows treatment . And I tossed a few yoga type pants in the basket since comfy style seems to be the easiest. Once I got back home though and started putting stuff away there was no stopping me - I was the little energizer bunny just pounding around the house. I feel like I'm going bonkers!! I must have re-arranged my kitchen cabinets 100x. Just crazy!! Like OCD type crap. I think I spent and hour on just arranging the spices alone.....WTH? I was such a creature of doing what I wanted, when I wanted and how I wanted and now I'm all Sally Homemaker and it's driving me nuts!! I want to go outside and take a walk but with the heat index at over 100* psht - NOPE! But I cant stay in these 4 walls much longer. I mean these daily trips here and there are fine (as long as I leave my wallet at home) but I want OUT! I feel I NEED to be doing something I just don't know what that is yet. I mean I'm being productive and active at least but I feel I just need something more. I guess with time and patience I'll figure it out. Baby steps. Tomorrow is FRIDAY!! Actually everyday for me is Friday it seems lol! And this weekend my son and I have our lunch or dinner date. That's that one time I don't worry about what I eat or think about what I'm going through - I just enjoy the time we have and make every second with him count. My sister should be back from out of town by next week and regardless of how things went before she left I really cant wait to see her again. I need my team back!! After the weekend I'll be down to my last 2 treatments then onto the 'pill' two weeks after that. I don't really like to stop and think about it much - sometimes the rabbit hole can get too deep and that's a place I don't care to venture down right now. My focus is good thoughts and vibes all the way!! Hope everyone has a good night!!
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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.


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