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Showing content with the highest reputation since 09/17/19 in Blog Entries

  1. 8 points
    My dad died of lung cancer in September of 2006. I took care of him. I watched the horrors of the disease take over his mind and body. He was diagnosed at the end of April and it took just 5 short months to take his life. And in those 5 months, we LIVED at the doctor's office, hospital, chemo office, radiation office, emergency room - you name it, we were always there. Hardly ever at home until it came time for hospice to step in. You'd think that would have been enough for me to put the cigarettes down, but no. At least I am doing it today, I figure. I think he would at least be proud of that. My doctor harped on me endlessly about quitting because of my family history - stating how much more likely I am to get cancer because my immediate family member passed from it. You'd think that would also be enough for me to quit, hearing that every single time I go to the doctor! Doctors are smart, they know you, they care. right? My dad has just been on my mind a lot more lately than usual (he always is, but more lately) The pic is of my daddy holding me right after I was born. It's my favorite picture of me & him, always has been. Look for more blogs from me - y'all are gonna get to know me lol.. I am a very open & honest person, maybe too much so. But it is what it is ...
  2. 6 points
    Third day... what to say what to say. I am okay during the day, I have no cravings until 4 pm, I wasn't a during-the-day smoker.. I hated that first cigarette in the morning. The whole head rush was something I wasn't into. But when the sun goes down my head goes in to a tale spin and I really have to focus on my quit and determination to be a happier and healthier person and give myself the gift of life. I avoid my friends at the moment. I know they will give me a cig when I ask for it. And I know I am not strong enough to go head to head with temptation yet. But eventually I have to face those demons too. But first things first, get through this night and work through all the feelings and emotions. Upside: Smell and taste are improving! The boyfriend unit is very proud of me, he watched some of the documentaries with me last night - he is sweet like that. Oh oh oh and! I have a pumpkin to carve!! Decided to go with Dragonball this year - I will keep you updated with pictures when I start carving
  3. 5 points
    A blog post about a craving at this time*? That must be one serious craving. And it is! I know that I have gotten a pack in the middle of the night on more than one occasion. Get out of bed, put clothes on, get in the car and drive for 30 minutes to the nearest 24h gas station so I could smoke one and sometimes 2 before falling asleep without the thoughts of being out of cigs in the morning. Time to take a step back and analyse this craving: What I need right now: sleep What triggered the craving: pattern based, being tired and hyper at the same time. How I deal with it: analyse the hell oit of it, blog about it, breathe and do some relaxation exercises. Note to self: get some "goodnight" tea tomorrow *1:09 am
  4. 5 points
    I couldn't postpone it any longer. I had to bring some stuff over to a friend, who smokes. I warned him ahead - do not feed my addiction and please keep the smoking paraphernalia out of sight. Unfortunately he forgot... so he lit one right up next to me. Asking me if I wanted one. "HELL NO! I quit remember?" He felt very embarrassed and took everything out of the room immediately while apologizing a lot. I went on and on about this forum, and about my pledge every day and how solid I feel in this quit. Which made me choose the right option and leave early. The smell was so bad, but it somehow crept up and fed my addiction voice. So I bolted after some hasty goodbye hugs. I have the need to thank you all again, you all make my quit so much brighter and funnier. It is so good to feel connected to a group of people that have the same state of mind: "NOPE!"
  5. 5 points
    Ugh! I quit while I was off work (I work M-Th, 10+ hours per day) so I haven't been at work while I quit yet. Next week we are going back to a 5x8 (M-F) schedule. I will deeply miss my Fridays off! Deeply! Working on the assembly line is different from 'other' work. We have time to 'think' a lot, if you will. Our jobs are mindless, boring, repetitive, monotonous, you name it. I just hope I don't think about smoking! Last time I was ok, but last time I had the patch. This time I am going solo! Then again, I have to wait until each break to walk 80 miles to get to a door to the outside to go smoke ... I am actually looking forward to spending my breaks the way I want to, instead of the way I had to, smoking a damned cigarette! Plus I cannot write on the board here because it's an assembly line & I cannot assemble and write at the same time! That line gets to moving pretty quickly sometimes! I don't want anyone to think that I bailed. I will try to get on here if I can, but it might be hard with just my cell phone. Anyway, here is a picture of what I assemble all day. I think this one just rolled off today or yesterday.
  6. 4 points
    Approaching 24 hours! Mood: Mostly positive and highly energetic with little swings towards the negative side and the " &#$^$ FYA!" thoughts But I am still standing! *yeah yeah yeah* Anyway, my mind is racing as is my body (I might need to up my adhd meds.. ) I tried naptime, but that didn't agree lol So here I am just rambling on and on and on.. I have nothing to tell, but time to kill I am pledging my NOPE again here for today - I have told my dad today about my pledge and my plan, and he was very proud. He suffered a stroke and had a double bypass this year... but he did quit immediately - he is one of my heroes. Gonna see the boyfriend unit this afternoon, he doesn't smoke, he never did. But he did a lot of research on the addiction topic and he is very understanding and supporting. Yeah this works! Deep Breaths, sip of water, music, singing, dancing... this moment will pass too!
  7. 4 points
    Wow, it is day 7 already - time has went by fast, kinda . . .take a look at this mish mash I made up - in no particular order, just a jumbled mess! I have some thoughts to share: First - Everyone is so super helpful here and I am more appreciative than I could ever express. I'd like to mail you all $20 bills & (((hugs))), lol - really. Second - I am sick and tired of suckers. I am open to suggestions that don't involve candy. My mouth is literally sore and there are sores on the roof of my mouth and my tongue from the suckers/candy. Plus it can't be good for my teeth either. Obviously. Third - I am still reeling over the fact that I am nicotine-free! I am so proud I must be beaming! Doing this without NRT's has been a very, very wise choice IMO. Fourth - I still want to smoke But I remain determined NOT TO! NOT ONE MORE PUFF! Other things worth mentioning today I suppose: - I wake up a lot during the night, I never used to do that. A train could roll thru my room & I wouldn't budge. But now I am up every couple hours. - I smell things I never smelled before. My under-eye make-up actually has a scent! I never knew that. So crazy! - Speaking of the nose, mine runs constantly now. It ran a LOT before, but now it's constant, which is making my throat hurt as well. - I can't pretend like I am all happy & nice right now, because I am the opposite. I am quite miserable to be around right now. I snap at people for little reason, etc. I am a very huge bitch (excuse my French, but that's the only way I know how to put it!) - I got a new diamond painting I have been working on, (Jack & Sally) - I will post a pic when I am done. It definitely keeps my mind off smokes! Sorry for the silly pic ... I am a picture person! I think it is important to take lots of pictures for memories and I am a silly girl lol Sorry for the rambling as well! I at least tried to keep it orderly. I just wanted to document this nonsense somewhere.
  8. 3 points
    Courtesy of my grandma, God rest her angelic soul - here is the # 1 reason I gave not to quit smoking. I am dead serious. This story is all her. /////SCARY STORY #1: Every major holiday (Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.) my grandparents would host dinner in their home; a huge feast ... I mean HUGE. And every year, and when I say every year, I mean every single year, every single holiday dinner, my grandmother (nani) - a nonsmoker of 30+ years would finish her meal, lean back in her chair, and say: "Boy, I sure could go for a cigarette right about now!" I would ask her, "Nani, are you for real craving a smoke?" and she would tell me YES! ///// Now, my rationale is this: if you can quit smoking for 30+ years and STILL crave a smoke after a meal then WTF is the point? Who wants to live like that? Certainly not me! I would rather go ahead and have the damn smoke! /////SCARY STORY #2: My mom smoked for about 30 years. Then when she turned 47, she needed heart bypass surgery. That's right, open heart surgery at the age of 47! The doctors told her if she didn't bother to quit smoking after the surgery, they might as well not bother even doing the surgery. So she quit cold turkey in the hospital/home. Today, my mom is 65. That's 18 years quit. Now she tells me at least once every six months that she wants to start smoking again. Arghh! I know she'll never smoke again ... but still, it upsets me when she says that to me! ///// I could never understand why anyone would want to give up their smokes for so long and still want one so many years later! I mean really, really, crave one! Obviously my thinking is a little different now, thanks very largely in part to the members of this board and Joel's videos. As you can see in the picture, my nani was a hot mama in 1947 (I think that's the date) I hope y'all like that I post pictures and it doesn't annoy you instead! Please let me know if it is annoying, I cross my heart & hope to die promise that I won't be upset if it is! Someone can just shoot me a message to my inbox, and that way I will know.
  9. 2 points
    I have read about the acronym, H A L T, in recovery paraphernalia and have used it to a great degree of success in changing my patterns from a nicotine addict to a Free person. Having a Crave ? H. A. L. T. Are you Hungry - Thirsty - need a deep breath of Oxygen ? Angry - Happy - Emotional ? Lonesome - Bored ? Tired ? In many, many instances, when I would reach for a smoke, my poor body was actually trying to alert me that it needed attention in some way. My addiction silenced these natural signals. I still catch myself these days...no, it is no longer a crave, it is my body hollering for water or food or something it really needs ! Now, groovin' in my new freedom, when these signals come up, my first thought may still be, 'Oh cigarette, dammit' However, it is followed immediately by, 'No, not smokes...you're Hungry, baby !' or, you're thirsty or, you need to go sit outside and take a big gulp of oxygen and figure out what your body or spirit requires. The piracy that nicotine practiced is still mind-boggling to me. Allowing nicotine to take over my basic human needs of sustenance and comfort was a grave error on my part. I am grateful my body is so forgiving . I am grateful to be free. Free and learning how to read my body's signals and remembering how to take good care of it. So, next time you have what you assume to be a Nic fit, have a think...what is your body really telling you ? It won't be hard to figure out. For me it has been obvious and I have to wonder, how could I have neglected my body for so long ? It is a miracle it survived. I would like to include our friend, Joel Spitzers' Do You Want A Cigarette....H.A.L.T.
  10. 1 point
    So in my preparation to make this attempt a permanent and thus successful one I found this site. I like to blog, have been doing that from the moment my parents decided to listen to my pleads to get (sloowwww) internet. My initial quit date would be the 10th, but well, you know how stuff works... you read, you post and you get highly motivated to quit sooner rather than later. And why not! There is nothing stopping me.. So I need to redo my preparation time table and get this stuff out of my system before I forget or before it gets me. Triggers - I've got so many of 'em Being alone: I am alone a lot. My daughter is 18 and has a boyfriend and a job, so she is really leaving the nest organically so to speak. I also have a new relationship and we see each other 3 times a week. He lives in a different city, has kids and a job too so we need to fiddle our schedules to meet up (but it works, and I am happy! So yay!). Conclusion: I have a lot of time on my hands - well no wait.. I have a lot of time that could trigger a relapse. Friends that smoke: Somehow I seem to have a lot of people around me who still smoke. And that is a trigger. I still wonder why it's so easy for a smoker to give a person who has quit (in my case it was over 9 months) a cigarette because it will calm someone down. I have done it, and in the past year I actually gave people a few minutes to actively decide to steal a cigarette from me - but I did still give someone that relapse cigarette (shame on me...) Long car rides: I don't smoke inside nor do I smoke in the car (okay that's a lie... I have the tendency to smoke in the car on long car rides when I alone... ). To " relax" and take the needed breaks during the trip I smoke a cigarette. And of course when the trip is over, as soon as I get out of the car.. The after-workout- cigarette: My neighbour and I are training partners, and he smokes.. when I started in 2017 I was still a non-smoker (or an inbetween-er) and his reward after a hard workout (which is every workout) is a cigarette. He has told me about growth hormones and that is is somehow a good thing and blablabla *insert many weak pro smoking arguments* and when I relapsed I joined in. Creating a new trigger. Phone calls: Ever since the phone got wireless and, after that, boundaryless (mobile) I take my calls outside with a cigarette Sex: No need to get into this. Food related triggers: Hunger, after a full meal, etc Concentration span is gone.. so I am gonna leave it for now and will get back to it when I feel like writing more about my triggers.
  11. 1 point
    Hi all. I have not been on for awhile. It is day 107 from smoking but please no congrats today. This is more about pain and heartache. To all those having trouble quitting,just think about the ones you will leave behind.I know i know you have to do it for yourself, but others will suffer just as much as you. I have sob had a wife.She was diagnosed with copd about 4 months ago.She tried to stop smoking and drinking her beer but could not. I tried everything because i would hear her cough and wheezing at night. She always said she is trying and not to worry because she was never ever sick. on the 21 of august she was complaining about her back and ear. On the 23 she finnally agreed to go to emer.1 where they said she had and bad ear infection and gave us some dam script. On the 23 at 3 a.m. i called my oldest daughter to come get us and we brought her to a hospitol. They took blood work and than had to move her to vasser. We followed. I went into the icu room and saw her sitting up in pain and scared. She saw me i saw her we locked eyes. I was looking at her when i heard the doctor say i had to go out for awile because they had to put her on life support sob sob sob .Still looking at her i know she heard him. The last picture of my beautiful wife was her starring at me in fear with her beautiful hazel eyes. I was ushered out never to see them eyes again. God writing this is tearing me up.I loved her even more than i though i did.The doctor said that she had pneumonia.He said that her lungs were about the worse that he had seen in a long time.On monday morning the 26th.i had to make the decision to take her off life support.Shortly after my beautiful warm sweet love of my life died in my arms taking her last breath.So to all that are trying to quit please please for the loved ones that have to try to go on without you please try again and again and again until you do.And to my love my woman i will remember you till we meet again.
  12. 1 point
    Only quit an hour ago, but moving forward as though this is my permanent quit. I weathered the first craving by making a pot of oatmeal with goji berries, flaxseed, chia seeds, and blackstrap molasses. Ate half. Craving has past. 8:54 am. Trying to figure out how to make a running list of cravings, not separate blog entries. Tried "add a message," and now "edit." Craving 3: passed by my cup of coffee remnants on the kitchen counter; immediate craving. Came back to QT to post the craving. Now getting ready to go to health supplement store to meet up with someone my gym trainer recommended. 3:45 pm. Ran errands. Every time I stopped the car, I had a craving. I used to smoke after I got somewhere and after I parked the car at home before I went in the house. Closed my eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, ran a litany of diseases through my imagination, and marched right on. (After opening my eyes)
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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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