I thought this quit was going to be a breeze because the first 10 days went by quickly with no problem. I guess because I was with family the whole time, and I was always occupied with all non-smokers doing something; there were various urges but they came and went quickly.

My wife went to work early this morning so I found myself home alone with nothing to do, and the urge for a smoke has been lingering all morning. I've tried to keep myself busy by looking for work around the house, cleaning up, organizing, looking for things to fix, etc. but the urge just doesn't go away 

I'm going to hang around this forum today and read through the materials, hopefully to keep this quit my actual FinalAttempt!

Let me tell y'all a story in hopes that you don't follow in these foot steps.  and in some regard maybe won't help than a good old fashioned hug?

This is this evening's story:  So, my wife has been suggesting she lives in the kitchen too much.  After dinner tonight, I said I got the kitchen clean up and you go to your office and do what you what you need to do.

As I am doing the dishes, etc, I am jamming some tunes and what comes to mind? My brother, my best friend who took his life by his own hand.  Yup, these are tunes we used to jam, etc.  Then I decided to pour some martini's and continue with the dishes as well as the martini's.

Then the cravings start and shrugged them off as a thought.  Then the alcohol starts kicking in and had thoughts how a a smoke will be OK.

As those that have read my past posts know that my wife still smokes and they are to be had if one looks hard enough.  Not this time, went out in the garage and sure enough, there was a half a smoke.  So what does Keith do?  Lights it up and burns it.  Man, talk about a head rush and getting dizzy.

Anyways, not looking for sympathy here as I just ****** up 9 weeks of clean quit.  But, is a warning for those in similar situations to not what do what I did.  Now feeling like a heel and starting over.

Let's not let life circumstances past/present control our QUIT.  Yup, I f..... up but that doesn't mean you have to too!!

take a moment to write yourself a response to your own SOS.

no one knows you like you know yourself, and if you do post an SOS we can show you your own words, something that you will really listen to.

do it now while you are strong, as we know that when we are weak we can struggle to fight and to find the fight within ourselves.

I'll get this started..

Jonny, what ever is going on that has thrown you into this confusion, please stop and reflect on your achievements and restore that belief in yourself.

You know that you are free and that you have always sought and fought for that freedom, and that your freedom or imprisonment are simply states of mind that you control.

already 4 years like this, him just abandoning me every other week

this ofcourse a huge trigger for smoking

i dont know if its the right time to quit

its al so depressing

I don't really know what to say... I gave in to temptation. Life is just really ******* hard right now. I know from past experiences that adding a nicotine addiction on top of everything else is ultimately another burden to deal with, but in the moment it feels like a way to alleviate some stress.

I bought a pack today and told myself I'll smoke this pack and when it's finished I'll quit again. I hope I have the strength to do so when the time comes.

Four months quit and now I'll have to start over once again.

I'm over two months free from nicotine and I know how stupid it is... I know all the reasons why it's foolish, yet this urge is there and the temptation to have 1 is almost overwhelming. 

I have confidence in my quit and estimate my chance of relapse is low

still...addiction is a wily condition and I am human.

Here are my four maneuvers to avert relapse, 

(  Think again,  Get right with yourself,  Contact an ally,  Post an SOS  )

and a slew of red flags... 

When you know better yet, are purposefully leading yourself astray

     ~ think again, get right with yourself, contact an ally, post an SOS ~

If you have tiny tempting smokey thoughts that you are nuturing by not dismissing immediately and aggressively 

     ~ think again, get right with yourself, contact an ally, post an SOS ~
 

I won't get addicted this time

     ~ think again, get right with yourself, contact an ally, post an SOS ~

Whenever you start to 'romance smoking'

     ~ think again, get right with yourself, contact an ally, post an SOS ~

If you seriously entertain the idea that smoking looks attractive or makes you feel carefree and part of the fun

      ~ think again, get right with yourself, contact an ally, post an SOS ~

If you are having silly thoughts like, my smoking friends are having a great time and I'm missing out

      ~ think again, get right with yourself, contact an ally, post an SOS ~

If you really wonder, what it would it taste like now, 

      ~ think again, get right with yourself, contact an ally, post an SOS ~

Will I still get that, 'ahhhh' feeling ?

     ~ think again, get right with yourself, contact an ally, post an SOS ~

When you start to think that you are 'different' and that you can handle just one. 

     ~ think again, get right with yourself, contact an ally, post an SOS ~

Do you think you can quit again without much effort? 

      ~ think again, get right with yourself, contact an ally, post an SOS ~

If you want to give yourself permission for just one, once in a while, just this once 

     ~ think again, get right with yourself, contact an ally, post an SOS ~

If you feel too secure in your quit and start to act cocky 

     ~ think again, get right with yourself, contact an ally, post an SOS ~

If you propose to test your quit

     ~ think again, get right with yourself, contact an ally, post an SOS ~

Are you starting to believe, you've been quit long enough to handle a puff or two?

      ~ think again, get right with yourself, contact an ally, post an SOS ~

If you know too much to get addicted again

     ~ think again, get right with yourself, contact an ally, post an SOS ~

Whenever you are doubting your commitment to your quit

    ~ think again, get right with yourself, contact an ally, post an SOS ~

If you ignore the reality that smoking is a terrifying choice with significant consequences

      ~ think again, get right with yourself, contact an ally, post an SOS ~

If you are dismissive of the fact that you can Never Take Another Puff,  Not One Puff Ever.

      ~ think again, get right with yourself, contact an ally, post an SOS ~

I forgot the major red flag,  I am not an addict !

 ~ think again, get right with yourself, contact an ally, post an SOS ~

I'm an adult and I'll do wtf I want !

 ~ think again, get right with yourself, contact an ally, post an SOS ~

Just one would help relieve the stress I'm having in my life at the moment!

  ~ think again, get right with yourself, contact an ally, post an SOS~ 

Have you more red flags to add ?   Different maneuvers ?

I want to include some of our friend, Joel Spitzer's, relapse prevention resources.

Resources Related To The Implications Of A Puff Once You Have Quit

Relapse Prevention Resources

I wanted to see if anyone had advice for how they managed the symptoms? Specifically and feeling muscle tension, tooth sensitivity, headaches, and feel my pulse in weird places (e.g., feet, legs, back). Nothing hurts much other than the minor headaches, but the rest is really unnerving and has me checking that my symptoms are normal or at least not abnormal.

Been a while since I have been on the Train. Got divorced a year ago and started smoking again. Just quit and having a major craving. I don't know if I can do this. Need support.

Kdad

But I am back in my straight mind, back to reality and back on the train.

Little embarrassed but extremely happy to know I can post my NOPE!!!

The fact that there were a bunch of men that once figured out how to make quitting smokers feel EXACTLY like this in order to make them relaps… is what pushes me throught right now.
 

I need to make it through this day, step by step. Dont lose connection.

I’m not going to smoke but just craving them right now.

So here to remind myself why I need to keep my quit.

I started again. My wife and I are divorcing so it is just me in an apartment and it triggered me to start smoking again. I want to stop so badly. Any encouragement would be good.

KDAD

I will be offline for a while, going into circumstances that feel perilous, that I associate strongly with smoking. I feel vulnerable. So I am setting an intention here to protect my quit.

I’m going on vacation – my first true vacation in a long time - and heading into the backcountry of my homeland. I have spent countless happy hours there smoking and tending the campfire… smoking and drinking strong tea… smoking and glassing the horizon for caribou, moose and bears… smoking and fishing. I am carrying my father’s ashes to a river where memory and sorrow both run deep. Dad died during the pandemic lockdowns, and now it’s time to take him home and set him free in the place where I want my own ashes to go, to intermingle with the ancient glacial silt and flow toward the sea.

Triggers abound. While packing yesterday, I found myself fiddling with multiple lighters and tucking matches into tiny ziplocs, “just in case.” Without pausing to think, I automatically grabbed the old film canisters I used for my butts while hiking and fishing. Even with 18 months under my belt, smoking is still deep in my tissues. Triggers, triggers.

After more than 40 years of smoking, the associations and triggers are tenacious. I guess I can’t change that past. But today I want to change how I respond to those cravings. So I am coming here to set an intention. I shall build new neural pathways. When the grief and homesickness come, I will greet them and care for them, without shutting them out by smoking. Smoking never healed a wound, never brought anyone back that I’ve lost, never made anything better. Returning to bondage and a life of constant poison is not an option.

I will be out of cell range a lot and probably won't be able to post an SOS in real time. So I say it now: NOPE, NOPE, a thousand times NOPE. My quit is too hard-earned to throw it away. When the longing to smoke wells up, I shall channel all you good souls here who cheer each other on and have helped me by explaining things, reassuring me, distracting me, making me laugh, helping me stay accountable. What would you all say? I’ll try to imagine your voices in my head. You’d tell me to keep my quit.

And so I shall.

The cardiologist's comment was the artery was at least 95% blocked and another heart attack was imminent. Close call. 

So 1 day out of the hospital my wife decides to let her alcoholism sneak into the day, stress out of site along with blood pressure and risking additional problems I stayed at my (phycologist) daughter's place. Came home yesterday and another argument ensued. Tried to go to my cabin but this proved to be too much activity. Came home and locked myself in the shop with my motorhome.

So my wife still smokes in area's around the house. At about midnight with no real sleep for now a couple days I took a walk around the yard and found an area where her one puff butts were. Shit I guarantee if I had a lighter on me or in sight, I may have lit one up!!!

I actually got back in the shop and was half looking for a lighter, I felt something needed to give then went in the Motorhome and sat flipped on the tv and the urge subsided....

This is the very condition's how I lost my last quit.

I am ok today and back in my right mind, but the conditions and the addiction were so very strong. I know that time under the belt is key and how far I've come is more than I want to lose along with the heart and life itself being threatened by cigarettes but WHOLLY SHIT that sneaky addiction sombitch.

Yes, this morning I went out and threw her butts in a bucket of water sifted the water and dumped the little bucket and everything in the garbage. 

Moral of the story may be to NEVER believe you are too strong and that you have total control, because the second you let your guard down and start junk thinking is the second the addiction could sneak back into your life. Remember it only takes one!!!

Really depressed. Bipolar II. Had ketamine yesterday. Have put in a call to my psychiatrist, asking to go back on meds. CAlled out sick from work.

Tried keto which is supposed to be super helpful for bipolar disorder. Listening to a podcast 22 of David Smith (never heard of him). He has bipolar. He just mentioned that nictotine/smoking is helpful for bipolar overwhelm. Yes, I'm in overwhelm. I'll look more into that.

Quite desperate for getting out of this mood. I remember how I resorted to smoking when I was feeling so depressed. 

Anyone around?

Not in my right mind. I know that rationally, but I am weeping and feeling desperate. Thinking that smoking would snap me out of this. Desperate.