hoping to stick to the boards for the next few days. 

having oral surgery mid day tomorrow. losing chewing surfaces on one side and do not know how/when I will be able to replace ...or even if possible.  deeply regretful about some of my life choices and having a hard time being in acceptance around the consequences of my choices.

getting married in a monthish.  never thought I would and it's kind of weirding me out.  RoLlERcOaStErInG....VERY high or VERY low.....very much going for even keeled. lol.

breathe ... and again.

HUGE old behavioral push to go get cigarettes and caffine filled soda to work through some items that need doing.   What a maroon! 

grateful that.....

I get to and have been spending time with people I care deeply about

lake is there for humidity break....instant attitude adjustment  (if only I go do it....)

my marvelous man loves me and wants to be with me even at my worst

I learn

I am able and wiling to do things differently

I have the gift of helth

people I hold dear have the gift of health

my survival needs are fully met

my thrivival needs are manily met

I am FREE from nicotine slavery