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Taking the non-smoking road


Rosewothorne

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I wasn't really prepared to quit. I've been putting it off for a year and half. My doctor gave me chantix and she picked a quit date for me. It passed on February 1, 2018.

 

So April 9 is the day I quit smoking.  Two months later than I promised my Doctor. But better late than never.

 

I've been smoking since I was 13, off and on until about 21 when I took up smoking in earnest. I averaged about 10-13 cigarettes a day until, at 51, I experienced some personal trauma and I began to bump it up to a 20-25 smokes a day. That was a year and a half ago. I quit once about 15 years ago and it lasted 3 years. I used nicorette gum for a couple weeks and then went cold turkey and used a support group online - I think it was freedom from smoking. One of the members from that built his own site and this one kind of reminds me of it, which is why I joined. I remember WhyQuit.com too. 

 

Anyway, I wasn't really mentally prepared to quit today. But I'm out of cigarettes - smoked my last one last night at 11pm. So what the hell? I'm not being flip. I could come up with a million reasons why next Tuesday or Saturday or two weeks from now would be a much better day for me to quit. Because then I can plan, prepare, etc. Well, truth is I've intended to quit for more than a year and never really got around to planning and preparing so today, without any cigarettes, is a good day to quit.

 

I remind myself that I'm choosing to quit smoking. I'm choosing not to smoke right now, this minute. And in the next minute that I need to I'll remind myself again that it's a choice and the right choice, the best choice, possibly the most important choice of my life...I'm at that fork in the road: to smoke? or not to smoke? I've previewed and envisioned what's down the "to smoke" road and it's not pretty. It doesn't have to be me. So on Day 1, Step 1 is to choose to take the "to not smoke" road. So far so good.

 

Many things come back to me from that last time I quit. I remember the first 72 hours or so were kind of foggy and hellish as the nicotine left my system. I remember "the urge to smoke will pass whether I smoke or not." I remember - delay, distract, and I forgot the other two "Ds" - there were four altogether. I remember some of the Joel Spitzer things too and it's good to know here is a place where I can find those resources as well as support from others. I remember the feeling of needing to drink or eat something --- feed that empty hole that quitting nicotine causes. Last time I quit I drank so much coffee at first that I ended up with chest pains and went to the doctor who told me to stop drinking so much coffee. :-) So today I had some herbal tea when I felt like that fourth cup of coffee might be useful to me. The chantix seems to help but it's early and I know i must be vigilant.

 

Around lunch time I had a major urge or craving or whatever you call it as I walked past the sliding glass doors to where I spend most of my smoking time. It took me by surprise with its strength...it almost felt like a physical pull, but I delayed and distracted myself with deep breathing - that was one of the Ds! I also ate lunch - I remember hungry, angry, lonely, tired (HALT) as times I might be more vulnerable. 

 

What are my reasons for quitting? (I remember this was something you were supposed to do as part of the quit smoking program.) I want to quit for my health. I don't like the congested sound I have sometimes when I laugh. I can see tiny fine lines forming around my lips from where I pucker to smoke and I'm not quite ready for that. I feel really bad that my son picked up part-time smoking (he's 22) and maybe I can be a positive example for him to quit also and not follow in my footsteps. I don't like to be smelly - or get that judgy look people give you on an elevator when you've just come in from smoking.  I don't want my friends and relatives to say, "you really should quit" ever again because it's annoying. I could save a good deal of money ($65/week at least). I don't have to go outside and freeze my ass off to smoke -- especially since winter seems to be hanging on for so long in these parts. I want to succeed and feel good about succeeding. 

 

Lots of challenges, I know.

My husband smokes. He says he's going to quit too.

Fighting cravings, urges, anxieties, crutches, etc.

And what is that fourth D?

 

 

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Great post Rose - all is true and tomorrow is always a better day to quit than today unless .... those smokes you consume the rest of today are the ones that become the catalyst to some horrible disease? Go ask our Doreen who is currently going through a huge personal loss because of smoking and had her own close call with the impact of years of smoking.

 

I too had no plan to quit when I did. I, like you, took it 1 minute, 1 hour and 1 day at a time for the first while. I didn't know if I could make it or if I even want to make it badly enough. Here I am a year and a bit later still not smoking. I'm proud of that but sorry I didn't do this sooner and I know I'll have to be vigilant my whole life to avoid slipping back into the clutches of nicotine addiction. I can't change the past but I CAN shape my future - so can YOU! Go do it. We'll help in supporting you as needed :)

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I don't think most people are ever prepared, or want to be prepared. Sounds like you already learned alot of great stuff from your last quit that will serve you well.

The commitment is all you need. Seems like you took the fork in the road where you won't smoke no matter what...you sound  better prepared than you think!

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I enjoyed your post Rose. I think you have all the commitment lined up to be a total success with your quit. Stay strong.

 

I had never heard of "the 4 D's" so I looked it up. Found 5. :) They're excellent advice for all of us.

 

Delay

Deep breathing

Drink

Distract

Discuss

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