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March 17, 2017

Cecilia

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Happy Friday and Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!!

 

Yesterday day go super busy so very little time to stay updated or blog about my life changing event. -- Smoke Free Freedom Bound.

 

I had class after school yesterday and I was so tempted to not go....I had not finished all of my assignments, which of course I was not the only one....actually most of the class had not. The instructor is (thankfully) to lenient on deadlines. However with that being said we are all teachers and have our cups are overrunning. Many of the teachers in the class are teacher at 4 of the schools that have been identified as turn around schools or at risk. Two of the schools are in jeopardy of having over 50% of their staff let go if their scores do not improve by next year. (Not sure where they would find the teachers to replace them, as we have a teacher shortage as it is) As for my school we are a D school trying to get to a B. So we all are under extreme press from the state as well as local level. I was very stressed...so at 2:30 I took a xanax and by 4:00 emotions ect. were under control and I went to class. I was late of course, but class was good.

 

In addition my student have two major project in the work......a promo video for our school system, which the student are working with our Central Office PR person, who is new, as no experience, but doing a wonderful job. Her only downfall is she does not know when enough is enough. She works with my students at lest 3 times a week weeding through footage she has taken and selecting for the promo video. The only problem is at this point we have 6.9 G's and I can not get our PR lady to realize that it is just to much for the students to sort through, and then every time she does meet with them she bring more video. UGH........these are high school students Lady not fulltime employees.

 

I am super proud of myself as I reminded smoke free, of course the xanax helped me push through as well as running late and knowing that taking the time to stop and by a pack would make me later, and when I walked into class I would smell like a smoke stack. I think it was more important to me to not smell like a smoke stack once I entered the room and that was my number one reason for not making a stop at the stress after such a stressful day. I wont even mention the HELL my DS is causing right now.

 

Sigh.....I am sure it is much worse than normally because of the withdrawal. Cravings are not to bad, but the stress and anxious, and brain fog is killing. But so does smoking.

 

ONWARD AND THROUGH



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The stress, anxious feeling, fuzzy head and downright feeling angry at times is certainly part of the deal when quitting. It's all pretty normal, although not welcomed. It does make it extra tough to function at times but the reward of being smoke free is the big prize at the end of it all. Keep moving forward no matter what! You're doing great :)

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