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Death In The West - The Marlboro Story (Full Documentary)
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The journey only continued for some...

I've umm'ed and ahh'ed about writing another blog entry, I don't like to be rushed I guess. I thought I was in  a new year and heading for my 4th year quit but on perusing the site, transpires I'm heading for my 5th lol. Smoking is an enigma to me now but those who knew my habit 2+ packs a day for years can't believe I have stayed quit *cough, this site* and new friends can't imagine me as a smoker! The latter is a compliment for sure.   However when I quit it was with two others. My M
Still winning

Still winning

1

The continuation of the journey

It's all about choice. We can create the drama, or not. Create the fear, or not. It really is very simple. As simple as stepping into the life we want and not being chained to the past. The rains may fall and the droughts may happen but we simply move forward step by step when it feels too hard to run. Accept support when it is offered, accept gratitude for what you have and what you have accomplished without ego. Some will travel with you on different parts of the journey but don't be afrai
Still winning

Still winning

1

Sometimes it's still hard and emotional

I don't take failure well. I don't take pointing out or twisting my flaws well.It stillpushes my buttons. Not SOS now but I find it harder when people piss me off. I understand how I gave up a year quit when I feel upset. I won't, cause nothing is worth it but blimey. It's been tough isall.
Still winning

Still winning

14

13 is lucky for me

It's so easy here. The quit is a wonderful thing still. It never gets old for me, perhaps because I assumed my family were "smokers" and it's what we did.   Today I joined a gym again, and I do exercise classes, a few of them and I still look like a ribena berry at the end lol, but I'm so much fitter. I take deep breaths all the time. I'm even wondering if I learn a new breathing technique to help and teach others...from an ex smoker!! Of 40 a day, who tried to quit and relapsed at a rapid rat
Still winning

Still winning

5

New life 14 months "ish"

I love to write, it is one of my passions and sometimes, it get's the mental neurons firing and course correcting. That's why there is power on these boards because as we help someone else up, or write down a ton of confusing feelings, or acknowledge that today is hard but yesterday was good, we start to straighten out our thought processes.   Because some of you know but others don't, my life was somewhat complicated 14/15 months ago when I quit smoking. I had many pressures and few answers a
Still winning

Still winning

2

Hello triggers...it's been a while....

I don't much like my Mum. I feel bad saying that but I don't. She mistreated me in the form of emotional manipulation and bullying, for years, but worse the last year and I am done with her. Toxic as it is, she lives with me waiting to be housed by the coucil/authorities and I am her primary carer as she is disabled. It's one of those situations you look on and shake your head for the poor unfortunates involved.   Move backwards 15 years. I was quit. It had been 364 days when my then fiance an
Still winning

Still winning

6

Romance is dead...

I am the woman who is always in control. Always leading the charge and I can battle some. Offensive, not defensive. So the romance thoughts always surprise me a little.   What I refer to as my smoking thoughts, have ramped up a little of late. Now that's ok, cause they are pretty small for the most part considering how long, how much and often I smoked, I think I'm pretty lucky overall. My calmer reactions of god I'm surrounded by divs, huff...have been replaced by needing to get away and re
Still winning

Still winning

6

2 years tomorrow

I don't think at the time I quite understood the guru's ahead of me, when they said quitting is a journey and not an event. I sure as hell get it now. What a ride!!   This time 2 years ago I sat with cigarettes, 16 days worth of champix taken and a deep sense of desperation to not be a smoker - with no idea how to achieve that. I never really realized it was as simple as just not smoking. I don't really know why, it seems glaringly obvious doesn't it?! I could do an oscar worthy speech of who
Still winning

Still winning

2

How did it happen...

I have been sitting wondering why, why did I become a smoker and how. The word that has sprung to mind all through my quit is insidious! I never "meant" to be a smoker. I didn't "choose" it and yet I ended up at an average of 2 packs per day by age 38, from a first cigarette starting point of age 9.   Age 9, I stole a cig from my mums packet. I don't even remember why. My parents were still together, home life was suspicious but I don't know why I did it. I took it to the shed, took some puffs
Still winning

Still winning

6

6000 cigs not smokedand still counting

6054 unsmoked cigarettes when I just posted something. That's just a save on so many levels!!   There are a lot of new quitters I'm reading and some great advice being given. Wish I had of followed any of it haha. Claw through quitter, take a bow :) Many a mental moment, throwing my hands skywards and saying for Milly and I. The nope shuffle, switch from foot to foot literally saying nope nope nope. Should of taken shares in cough sweets and nobbys nut for sure...utter miss in planning :)  
Still winning

Still winning

7

What a year!!

1 year and 1 day ago I wrote something on a support forum. I had no idea where it came from, I am a strong woman for sure, but this sounded like it had unending strength to "get er done" and I didn't have that for quitting! I had tried and failed many times from July through to last March, all roads led back to smoking. Social, weekend, less than a pack, more than before - all smoking! In truth I desperately wanted the quit...I just didn't know how not to be a smoker! By the time I got to a boar
Still winning

Still winning

0

6 months and a little bit

Shhh, I feel ok *looks left and right for the easy peasy crew* haha. I don't smoke, 6 other people don't smoke now because I showed it could be done. Of course they were considering it anyway, isn't every smoker considering quitting. Where I am today is where I could only dream of being before and I fully respect that and hold onto it.   Things have really been getting to me lately. I have felt massively overwhelmed, as such some of my posts might have seemed a bit sad, that's life tho. I won
Still winning

Still winning

7

Who am I?

Markus Quote: And so you too will become exactly what you seek if you so choose it. You will lose yourself as you are, and become who you were meant to be, a free person. But, it comes at a price, and we have all had to pay it. You have to leave yourself behind to find yourself anew.   Thank you for the mention of change. Sometimes I doubted it, with all the talk of the same person. For me, no, I am not the same.   Possibly, it's the jet lag, or the OCD of machinery breaking, it's certainly
Still winning

Still winning

2

Almost 7 months

This has been a tough week. It's tuesday! That probably says a lot. And my weird will be in this blog, if it offends please see "ra ra" type posts in the main arena!   I don't understand why I think of smoking when things become tricky. Although it has been my "go to" for my whole adult life, I started to smoke at 13. I had my first at age 9 - the age my oldest daughter is now!! She's a baby!! I can't believe no one noticed me, and yet if you met those I "care for" you'd understand the self ob
Still winning

Still winning

7

Wallow time completed.

Not my style, not my way but I think I just done wallowed the last two weeks of my life away? Sad, unhappy, over thinking, questioning myself, my life, my parenting - but not my quit. I love that bit by the way, even when life feels like it utterly sucks balls for no apparent reason my quit is still in the "oh yeah, doin it" section. August was the most abhorent, scary emotional month I have seen in some time. I am utterly jaded but re grouping.   I am brutalized I was too unwell to complete
Still winning

Still winning

4

Twas the night before 11 months...

I haven't planned a treat!! I did a big celebrational thing for 10,000 not smoked recently but this month feels anti climatic. In a good way I suppose, the quit is a done deal like I said...the cravings are gone...I have a thought and think nah, and carry on with my life.   I am lovin the newbies though. They don't post so much though hey, I think that's kinda sad. I remember with fondness some totally pointless and random posts I put in social when I should have just posted please tell me I
Still winning

Still winning

4

I just know

I've had a wine or 5. At times like these I like to write, I find myself more honest when inbetween sober and tipsy.   I'm close to 10K not smoked. I'm marking time waiting for it if I'm honest. I really want to get there and "get er done".   I really have to push myself to think of smoking now. I mean, I can't imagine a scenario that means I would fall off the wagon.   My quit is comfortable now. Not to say I never have a thought, I do, but it never overtakes me anymore. I just know thi
Still winning

Still winning

3

What's going on?

It's all a bit hairy in the wonderful world at the moment. At the risk of "engaging my weird", I know the energy is off kilter at the moment and everyone's feeling pretty insecure, I guess I'm no exception.   Quitting: Well that's two who have fallen off that I have cried real hard tears for. I panicked, what if that was me later?? My advice upon more tears from my fella was "you really must stop getting SO involved with everybody". My quit buddy's advice was I'm an "unhinged psycho and my qu
Still winning

Still winning

4

8 Months today.

8 months seems utterly amazing to me!! This last month has taught me quite a bit about my quit.   I went on the holiday of a lifetime. One of the main factors of me quitting was affording to go to Florida and Disneyworld with my two kids. I think with the holiday being paid for and actually being on holiday it set up some triggers. I was able to use all I had learnt with you guys here to nope through it, in honesty, once recognised it wasn't difficult.   Sadly my Mum didn't do the same. Havi
Still winning

Still winning

2

I could smoke, but I don't smoke and repeat

I am at no risk of smoking still, that's good but I am bored senseless of this inane internal drivel, could smoke/don't smoke, that goes through my head every day. I don't even know how I would explain it but I still have the same thoughts of times when I would smoke. For sure they are less frequent then they were. For definate they are not the gut wrenching craves of days gone by and haven't been for a long time. Just like a fly really that keeps buzzing around you and getting right on your las
Still winning

Still winning

0

9 month thoughts

It was simply time. I had run out of excuses as to why I couldn't. Tried being every type of smoker and relapsed at a rate that would scare you silly. Every single person in my life wanted me to quit. Some to help them quit too, most because they worried for me. I would smoke 30-40 per day, indoors or out socialising. Every day! My quit is a bit of a non entity to me now. I almost think that can be a bit sad, so I make sure I celebrate myself so I never forget what was for me, a battle that I c
Still winning

Still winning

3

11th March to 18th April

My champix is taken and my quit date set, I have literally tried all other options and this is my last one. However my partner and mother both smoke. My Mum is disabled and has copd so can't actually get outside to smoke. It's not an excuse because I will no longer let it be but I failed previously because there are always going to be cigs around the house, that's not changing for now so I must have a better plan....but if I quit, maybe they will too?? Either way I would appreciate any tips,
Still winning

Still winning

0

nearly 8 months

The time span amazes me. I don't think they know me, I can't quit?!   However, my ticker would disagree. You see, I have almost 8 months and a holiday with the funds under my belt! It's proper weird to me!   Let me say this. If I commit to it, it will happen. That's how I smoked for so many years. Also how I choose not to smoke now. Still, my mum has the holiday trigger, I get it but nope. I think they smoke in more places here then at home but nope!   I knew I would have holiday trigge
Still winning

Still winning

2

My Mum finally quit!!

Ok, so it took an admission through A&E and two ambulance calls, a cist on the kidney and a damaged and over beating heart whilst literally filling up with fluid at 66 years old.... (and breath) ....but she quit.   She will never read this cause "forums aren't her thing, all those do gooders patting each other on the back" apparently?! But still a one week, bootstrap quit. Just cracked on, some whinging but too scared to smoke anymore.   I am still worried but sooo relieved she is at l
Still winning

Still winning

4

Got no mates!

Another quitter today has raised the "drop off rates". Wow they are pretty high!! Now there is a person on the board with my time, but only one. This time is a bit strange to be honest. 4 months was lovely, no craves, all peace. 5 months is reminding me, hey you used to smoke...hey you, you smoked you know....hey hey, can you hear me and so it goes. Now of course it's good, it's me. I have traced back and found the triggers and will work on them and my quit is safe.   So where's me mates at?
Still winning

Still winning

2

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